Super Hipster Lumberjack

Super Hipster Lumberjack is clearly advertised a person's first game. I could have told you that, though. It's a 2.5D platformer in an untextured world that feels like the result of someone just following an hour long Unity YouTube tutorial. As a first game project, congratulations. However, it's nowhere near a state that should be released to the public - let alone sold for any amount of money. Lots of polish, a few textures, and some gameplay variety would've gone a long way.

My favourite part was the jumping. Followed by the falling. Followed once more by the jumping.

“Super Hipster Lumberjack” is a cheap, generic 2D platformer that feels like it was made as a school project. And, it actually was! At least the dev is honest about it, and you can see the passion he poured into it. It's pretty simple, with multiple levels featuring different obstacles. I don't think the level design is half bad. The game isn't long; however, it can be challenging. Some parts are trickier, and you'll die multiple times until you figure out a pattern. There aren't checkpoints inside levels, but the levels aren't too long, so that's not an issue. Except for the last level! That one is hard and long (that's what she said), and without checkpoints, it's really frustrating, especially because it's easy to die in the last part, and you'll have to restart the level from the very beginning. The game is rough around the edges, but considering what it is, and that the base price is already pretty cheap, I was considering giving it a positive review at first. However, there's a game-breaking bug that prevents the game from loading after the first few levels. The game will freeze, and you'll have to Alt+F4 to exit. It seems like everyone is experiencing this issue, so this is unacceptable. You'll have to beat the game in one sitting; otherwise, you won’t be able to load and have to start from the beginning. Overall, the game is fine for a school project, and it's priced correctly. However, I can't recommend it with that loading bug, and most likely it'll remain bugged forever.

The dark souls of lumberjacks

hell is real and it's called Super Hipster Lumberjack

i miss my mom

This was a life changing experience

I remember gifting this game between friends as an in-joke just to get each other to play it, many hours were spent messing around trying to beat it., In fact, there was one time I spent a couple hours trying to cheat my way to the last level to see the ending in the original, I ended up messing around with the game files to get myself to spawn at the last level after having played through all the stages up to that point and exiting out. I even tried opening the game in cheat engine with the goal of trying to give myself noclip or something (I had no idea what I was doing, it did not work). Eventually I just caved and beat the last level just to see what was past it cause i was stubborn. Seeing a post saying that this game got a remaster 10 years later was surreal, and replaying it was quite the blast from the past. The new movement is cool too, and I think it would make for some fun speedruns. This game is of course, not anything crazy, but I'll remember the words "Super Hipster Lumberjack" long after the last time I open this game.

This game is the best game I have *ever* played. It's a genuinely life changing experience I cannot recommend enough.

This is not the worst game ever made. Because this is not a game. It is a depraved and highly effective torture device, the likes of which could NEVER have been conjured by the creators of the brazen bull and the iron maiden working together. Adolf Eichman couldn't have DREAMED of creating something this deplorable, and if he did he would have hung himself in guilt. So I repeat, this is not the worst game ever made, it is however the single worst thing EVER created by humankind. For centuries we have wondered if humans are good or evil by nature. I still cannot answer this question. But after playing, if you could call this play, this thing, I have lost much of my faith in humanity. I hope, sincerely, that the devil crawled out of hell and whispered in the ear of Noah Lewin to give him the inspiration for such a thing. Because then, I would not have to face the possibility that human malice runs so deep as to conjure such an awful evil creation. The existence of super hipster lumberjack PROVES beyond a shadow of a doubt that humans will NEVER travel back in time. Because if that technology was EVER made, we would have gone back and prevented this abomination from entering the material plane. Do not buy this game. Do not support this developer, do not give him the resources to build more digital concentration camps. And please for the love of god do not play super hipster lumberjack. You will regret it. This game has sucked all the joy I once had out of my life. Everything is terrible now. I see only in shades of gray. I feel only sadness, anger, and regret. Life is pain and it is all because of super hipster lumberjack. I have NEVER hated something like I hate super hipster lumberjack. It has ruined my life to such a degree that I am considering ending it all after I get this message out. Do not play this game. I only played it for a 29 minutes, but those minutes felt like decades. They were the worst 29 minutes of my life and I hope to god that I can forget them someday. But hope is fragile, all because of super hipster lumberjack. The day this game was posted to steam was BY FAR the single worst day in human history. It DWARFS 9/11 in the enormity of its tragedy and the evil that surrounded it. There can be no peace, all because of super hipster lumberjack. The graphics are more hideous than the maw of death, fouler than the deepest crypt, and more maddening than the face of an elder god. The music, taunts you all the while. Horrendous 8 bit remakes of open source music. It will drive you to insanity. It made my ears bleed while my eyes bled from the burning imagery before me. The gameplay was curated to induce as much rage as humanly possible. There are 3 controls, left, right, and jump. And somehow those 3 controls have made me incapable of ever experiencing another ounce of joy. The gameplay felt like Noah looked up how to make a game in unity, watched a 5 minute video, and made it in 30 minutes. The only twist is that Satan himself told him to make it as painful as the darkest pit of hell. There is no artistry here. Super hipster lumber jack is the place creativity goes to die. It is the end of all things good and the gateway to all things evil. Stay far away from this game. Once you play it you can NEVER go back. Do not make the same mistake I did. And Noah, If you are reading this and IF you still have a single ounce of humanity left in you after what you've done, PLEASE remove this thing from steam. Do not allow more people to be dragged under and whisked away to a word of suffering. Do not allow another soul to feel the same pain I have. Because I would rather go through any of the layers of hell described in Dante's inferno than play this thing for another second.