Headlander is a game that leans heavily into the story and dialogue. These didn’t land for me, and all I was left with was a very basic Metroidvania.
[h3]Story & Presentation[/h3]
I found this game’s story incredibly dull due to its pacing. You start this game as a floating head, and have to go find your body in some spaceship. Half of this game is navigating that spaceship with little motivation outside of that. Your character doesn’t speak, just lightly emotes. That and a super video-gamey guide just telling you “go here” and “do that” is not enough real story to push you to do anything. The remaining half of the game is discovering that the robots on the spaceship you’re on are oppressed and you gotta go kill their oppressive overlord. Technically, they’re not robots, but people’s consciousness uploaded to robots. But, these are 80s robots going around talking like “beep-boop I’m a robot” and making puns. It’s really hard to believe they’re even people. You really just end up not caring about any character in this game.
You also have this game dev’s (Double Fine) signature dialogue and humor. There’s a lot of it, and it’s (generally) well voiced, but barely any of it really landed for me. That may be just a difference in humor, since they basically have a cult following. However, barely laughing at a game’s characters when I already find them boring is just a multiplier.
[h3]Exploration[/h3]
The biggest thing I can say against this Metroidvania is the exploration. It is SO GUIDED. All doors are highlighted on the maps, as well as all collectibles. Areas are insanely linear with no meaningful connections between areas. You’re not going exploring, you’re getting taken on a damn tour. The collectibles aren’t even that crazy either. +1 tiny sliver to your health bar in a game where either can’t die or get one-shot, move +5% faster when you already move at lightspeed, +10% to your energy that your special move uses instantly regardless of how much energy you have. They all feel pointless. You can also collect XP to contribute to a small skill tree, but everything that isn’t a passive buff in there is too specific or weak to be useful.
The base concept of this game ♥♥♥♥♥ up the exploration even more. As previously mentioned, you’re a floating head. You can attach to bodies and fight within the bodies. Pretty cool concept, as constantly taking over enemies and moving around could be pretty hectic. Double Fine’s execution of this was so horrible though. The “rank” of the body you’re in determines what doors you can go through. This is okay when going through an area for the first time, but falls apart when you have to backtrack. Floating around on a head and trying to go back to an area you were just in? Sorry buddy, you need the green rank suit. Go run around and find the green suit so you can go back into the room YOU’VE ALREADY BEEN IN.
[h3]Gameplay[/h3]
The gameplay wasn’t exciting either. 75% of the game you can just run around with whatever body you have completely invincible once you have the regen upgrade. You only have to detach for easy puzzles. Last 25% of the game you tend to get one shot a lot and have to move to different bodies a lot. Sounds like the time for the system to flourish right? No, the end-game is more about tanking shots that your enemy is dishing out, killing them, flying over to them, and repeat. 100% skilless, brainless, unsatisfying combat.
[h3]Final Thought[/h3]
Unless you’re a Double Fine die hard I’d avoid this. This might be one of the most boring Metroidvanias that I have played, and I’ve played quite a few.
