[u] This review was written in English and Russian in purpose to save your money and time. [/u]
[i] “The fundamental cause of trouble in the world is that the stupid are sure while the intelligent are full of doubt”.
Bertrand Arthur William Russell, 3rd Earl Russell [/i]
The fundamental cause of trouble of the [url=http://steamcommunity.com/id/chowderchu] Chowdertwo’s developer (nicknamed Chowderchu) [/url] is that he is absolutely sure he can be a video games developer.
Beyond all doubt that’s far from the truth because this game is REALLY bad.
A little bird told me the developer ignores the fact that an investment in knowledge always pays the best interest. As a result we have this so-called “game” because the developer spent his mom’s money on this product.
So far I thought that you ought to have talents, skills, imagination to be a video games developer. But it was before I played the first part of this product (Chowderchu)
Chowdertwo is the second part of the game.
Cons
1. Chowdertwo’s controls are shockingly bad in purpose for being “hardcore”.
Your main control scheme is A and D to move left/right, W or Space to jump, Shift to teleport, Tab to use doors and talk, right click to leave some weird bomb thing and then left click is for your attack and “better” jump.
[u] The controls are non-configurable [/u].
Your basic jump (off of W/Space) ability is little weak so you have to draw a line from your character to the spot where you want to jump and he flings in that direction, which sounds easy, but you don't know where you're exactly going and you had to correct your course once you're in the air, but it's so hard to control because your character flies through the air so quick that it's really difficult to process what's going on.
Everyone knows that good entertainment is good and bad one is bad except for the Chowdertwo’s developer.
Is Chowdertwo a hardcore game? No, there’re just awkward controls, for sure.
2. I don't think I've ever played a game in Steam with such terrible graphic and artwork. Oh, wait… I’ve seen a worse game – Chowderchu.
The environment is a total clustercuss of indistinguishable assets and the characters themselves might actually make you vomit.
Probably you've seen better character concepts on the average 14 year olds Deviant Art page.
Frankly speaking Chowdertwo’s graphics is better than the Chowderchu’s one.
Don't get me wrong, it's still terrible. But not as utterly awful and eye-damaging as Chowderchu (the first part of this product).
I suppose the developer hired some schoolboys to make graphics less toxic and acid.
3. As for the soundtrack there’s a loud PC-speaker’s noise instead of it. By the way, you can’t lower or turn off this grating noise so your ears will be literally bleeding.
4. The gameplay could have been worse, e.g. like in Chowderchu but it’s still boring and unfriendly.
I’m not surprised there is no save/load system or checkpoints but in Chowdertwo you have 100 lives instead of 3 ones in Chowderchu.
The level design is lazy and lame. The enemies and bosses are boring and game relies too much on instant kills everywhere for difficulty instead of clever level design.
5. The in-game’s text is unpolished and made of poopy jokes for schoolboys (indeed, not clever ones).
Many times in the game you see the phrase “Chоwd be with you”.
You know [url=http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chowd] the meaning of Chоwd written in Urban Dictionary [/url], don’t you?
6. Overall the game is a just an unpolished, buggy example of the terrible platform game that should be labeled "Early Access" at best.
But you can count some false positive reviews. To be honest I don’t know why some people say something like “this is the best game they've ever played”, unless they've never played any other games or they're acquainted with the developer somehow. This game looks and feels like a pre-alpha build.
7. The developer behaves himself very strange. He likes to write insulting comments and then delete them. It’s seems he is Russian but he thinks that he is American. And he hates the truth for sure, e.g. he banned me from the Chowdertwo’s forum BEFORE this review was written.
I’m sure he’ll flag this review as “Abusive” coz of his hatred for the truth.
Free advice to dev: to be conscious that you are ignorant is a great step to knowledge.
Pros
1. You can delete the game and ask for refund. Seriously there ought to be a tag “refund simulator” for this product in Steam.
Thank Gabe Newell for Steam refund system!
There's nothing fun about this game. It's a platformer with horrible controls and music that drives you insane. I tried to find something nice about this game. But there's nothing.
All in all the game should be an example of the game made down and out so I DO NOT RECOMMEND it for your sanity.
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Русскоязычным пользователям я рекомендую прочитать [url=http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198034642823/recommended/431740/] рецензию на первую часть данного продукта, т.к. вторая часть не особо отличается от первой. [/url]
Изменений в этой игре по сравнению с первой частью немного, а именно:
- графика стала менее ядовитой и вредной для зрения, но все равно осталась на уровне худших школьных поделок;
- вместо 3 жизней вам выдают 100;
- новое название у игры (но похожее на старое).
Видимо, разработчику настолько не понравилась моя рецензия, что он не только пометил ее как оскорбительную для него, но и забанил меня на форуме этой игры ЕЩЕ ДО написания рецензии. Уверен, что он обидится на правду и сейчас.
Хотя не знаю, что может оскорбить того, кто постоянно желает, чтобы с ним был Chоwd [url=http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=chowd] (пенис, но немного странный по форме, согласно определению из Urban Dictionary) [/url]
Мне непонятно частое использование разработчиком подобного пожелания. Как и непонятно то, зачем разработчик, будучи русским, выдает себя за американца?
[u] В Стиме множество бесплатных игр, качество которых выше этой поделки. [/u]
