This is a conflicting game for me. On one hand, it somehow bottled enough magic to make the thought of playing this game somehow appealing, and yet on the other hand, the actual act of playing it is incredibly... boring.
It starts off strong plot-wise, but for some reason, as soon as you get to England, any semblance of raison d'être evaporates. What was once a plot gives way to a whatever the ♥♥♥♥ Order prances around in England that you for some reason would want dead all of a sudden.
To rag on the writing a bit more, it's unbelievably and almost surprisingly simple. Most of the "World Events" you run into feel like they were written in the span of a few minutes, with the smallest amount of thought involved in their writing. I mean for ♥♥♥♥'s sakes, one of them is about a dad that believes his smell makes him powerful and now his family suffers because he stinks. Colour me impressed. Wow, poopy poop, very quality.
Beyond the irony, I think that if the game wants me to spend time in its world, please don't waste it. Most of the world events are frankly childish writing. The only reason one would actually engage with these things is either material reward, or a meta sense of completionism to make it so this region is "complete".
This defeats the purpose of exploration completely. I don't want to tick things off, I want to see magic, by which I mean the kind of magic that makes one listen to a random person you just met on a bar for the whole night because holy sh*t they're interesting.
And it's a shame, because some world events do approach that! In Norway, there is this event that is about some dudes trying to find a comb in a lake in order to court some lady. Eivor finds it and has a little moment with said lady. But then it gets a bit more sincere, and the lady straight up tells Eivor she likes how they seem to have this rugged sense of vulnerability that is intriguing, after which they just spend a wholesome moment enjoying the view. This is good! It adds layers to Eivor, AND the world, because all of a sudden I'm interacting with the semblance of a person, and not some low hanging pop-culture reference or bad joke. This isn't even amazing, it's just decent. The game starves one of quality so bad you cling to anything really...
I understand these games took inspiration from the Witcher 3. How in the hell have they missed their lesson so thoroughly that they even considered they could have such writing for what is basically the side quests? Nobody talks about the Witcher 3 because they thought it plays well or because it had things to do. People remember and talk about Witcher 3 because of quests like the Bloody Baron, Fyke Isle, or Hearts of Stone. And, unfortunately, this game ain't got it.
I feel like a lot of Ubisoft's design philosophy is to fill the game with as many progression systems, procedural gameplay systems, building systems, etc. out of some perverted game design approach that feels very academic but also completely devoid of any wisdom. It's as if they believe players are cynical little goblins that don't need a reason to do things other than they can be done. I don't know if people out there are like this, but I feel like my own humanity gets buried by the blandness and lack of purpose this game provides. I mean at this point, just make a damn roguelike and drop the pretence.
As if the lack of purpose and writing isn't enough, I also feel like the combat is a little wonky. AI-wise, I found it frustrating that when I run into a huge Saxon fort, what ended up happening was that I had a maximum of a handful of soldiers actively try and do something, and the rest of the time, there were like 10 archers just STANDING THERE. They weren't moving, they weren't shooting, they just stared at me and did nothing. Some of them didn't even run away. It ought to be noted I played in the hardest difficulty. It's a shame, because the combat feels otherwise quite brutal. It ALMOST engrossed me, but the AI is ridiculous, and the magic fizzles.
Another small note on combat, I'd like to add that some boss fights feel off. You got your Order of the Ancients fights you find around while exploring, and fighting them can often feel frustrating and arbitrary. Dodging has incredibly long i-frames, the combat flow is interrupted by un-parriable attacks, and worse yet, the game seems to be trying to read your inputs to adjust what the enemy AI does in an egregious and unnatural way. When they throw things at you, the projectile trajectories are overly adjusted according to the player's direction and speed, and when you hit them when vulnerable, they sometimes immediately react with an un-parriable attack that is almost instant. It just feels weird, and unpleasant. Not impossible, but learning the fight is unintuitive and involves me figuring how the game works instead of figuring how the enemy fights.
With all that said, this game does have a few things I liked that make it harder to let go completely. I love that the game has Fly Agaric trips layered across the map. The game lets me and Eivor trip our balls out. Imagine how cool it would be to raid while tripping on shrooms...
The seer visions, at least while in Norway, are also quite engrossing.
The game mechanic of distrust is also quite nice, in the way that becoming this hooded traveller to blend in somehow captures a fantasy of Odin I did not expect to be experiencing. I thought the vibe was quite cool.
And finally, believe it or not, I thought Eivor could be occasionally quite charming, in their own way. But if all they encounter are parody level characters, they can never truly shine now can they?
In conclusion, cool vibes can not make up for a complete lack of purpose or respect for one's time. A lot of my frustrations could be solved if:
A) The game puts in some serious effort in its writing. I need a reason to play the game, and playing for its own sake does not cut it.
B) Ubisoft stops pretending they care about narrative, and makes roguelike games. This game could then soar on the merit of its systems, and we won't have people like me coming in for narrative anymore and giving this identityless game a negative review.
