Actual Sunlight

Meh..

Why commit suicide today, when you could masturbate tomorrow?

While I don't disagree with the basic concept, or even some of the points presented - I know all too well just how soul-crushing and lonely it can be to be depressed, and what sort of things suicidal ideation can foster within you, I can't say that this game handles it all that well. It essentially seems to be a longhanded version of "Everything sucks, I messed it all up, I don't have the confidence or will to fix it, so It's all over for me now". It's... odd. I see the problems the main character has and my mind immediately goes to solutions, to remedies. Maybe he'd be able to afford a better life if he stopped mindlessly spending, maybe he'd have an easier time connecting with people if he could stop shooting himself in the foot, maybe he'd have more fufilment in life if he set small, but reasonable goals and worked towards them. As said, I know it's not that easy - I've been where this person is, I know how it weighs, but at least to me it seems as if this person became enamoured with his own misery. He uses his sadness as a shield to protect him from any attempt he might make to fix it all, trying anyways and blaming the failiures on his inherrant traits. It's always "I'm fat" or "i'm unattractive" or "I'm white" (for some reason?), and while i get that sort of self-hatred and how much those personal flaws can feel like terrible wounds, The truth is evident - it's not what he is, but who he chooses to be. Depression doesn't have to mean that you act sad, and damage other people. It might sound crude to say - but an important part of living is learning not to take other people down with you. It's normal to be sad, and while it's less common, it's normal to be depressed - terrible things happen, and life will sometimes deal you a bad hand - but you don't have to make that sadness other people's problems. This all feels like someone who turns to excessive spending as a coping mechanism, but then can't find a way to afford it due to terrible job prospects, until the inevitable end. Perhaps that's why I find it hard to be as sympathetic as I want to be - spending money you don't have is always the beginning of a road to ruin, and it's a choice that's oftentimes easily avoided. Based on all the text, it doesn't look as if he had to spend nearly any of the money he did - and with what he saved, he could've made that better life. Perhaps i'm just older, or more experienced with such thoughts now, or maybe just a bit numb to it all. Perhaps, though, this game is depressing without any real... weight to it. The ending was expected (in fact, it was even spoiled right near the start), but it didn't feel like there was much gravitas to it. It just... happened. I appreciate trying to tackle difficult and mature themes, but the overal experience didn't leave me feeling as if I'd learned anything, or seen something that I didn't know before. The weight of life is always heavy, sadness is always there, but it's the choices that matter. It's hard for me to sympathise with those poor choices, especially when they seem so... pointless. The main character was doomed, yes, but doomed of his own choosing. Depression is different for everyone, but this man's and mine are clearly worlds apart.

Not enough.

The game's a personal experience and is blunt in its approach. Because of its tone and inevitable ending, it really does feel like someone's view of the world crystallised in time. The game treats life as a rigid thing that resists change the older you get, and you don't really have the agency as a player to explore views beyond that. Not a game for everyone, but an interesting playthrough and insight. I'd recommend it if the topic and story piques your interest.

Powerful. A story that needs to be heard.

This game is sad, bleak, and hopeless, but I really liked it. It seems like the author poured their depression into it, which gives the whole experience a raw, personal, and sincere quality. It is hard to call it enjoyable in a traditional sense, yet it stayed with me precisely because of its honesty. P. S. The only achievement in the game seems to be unobtainable on Mac.