The Real Texas

A game called The Real Texas by Canadian game developer Kitty Lambda which is set in England, kind of, and only gets weirder from there. First off, the game is not for everyone -- if you're put off by the art in the game's screenshots, the rest of the game won't change your mind. That said, the art, like the music, writing, and setting all work together -- this is very clearly not a AAA game, but that's probably why it's able to nail its unique tone. With a living, breathing world filled with bizzare characters and weird things to interact with, The Real Texas is an incredibly cool and surprisingly complex game that kind of defies any sort of genre classification (though it's probably closest to being an RPG). Also the music is incredible -- kind of bizzaro Harvest Moon with a bit of Earthbound and just slightly-off, like the rest of the game. You should definitely check it out if you're a fan of games like Else Heart Break or old CRPG games like Fallout or Planescape (at least in terms of exploration and character interaction, not so much combat as The Real Texas is a stat-less RPG game). You'll know within the first thirty minutes if the game's for you or not.

The Real Texas is a strange game that's tricky to summarize. It really doesn't settle for doing things conventionally. It has a simple aesthetic that might put some people off. If you don't mind those, there's a great and unique game here. You're a cowboy who takes a vacation to a castle in England only to find that something unusual has happened. You quickly end up in Strange, Texas, which is probably just purgatory. Obviously, there's a weird sense of humor to this game. While the tone of the game is usually pretty lighthearted, it does take itself seriously when it needs to. Of course, this is a game about purgatory. The gameplay is a nice mix of exploration, puzzle-solving, and combat. You'll travel between reality (in England) and the town of Strange, Texas (in purgatory). Solving problems in one world helps solve problems in the other. The worlds aren't massive, but there's plenty of detail to make up for it. There are also quite a few side quests to do and secrets to find. Interactions with objects and NPCs happen via keywords (search, use, talk, etc.). Some are highlighed by conversations, but it's possible to type them out if you want to try something different. This is actually necessary for some things, too. Most of the progression is based on puzzles and NPCs questlines rather than on combat. These questlines often involve going between the worlds to solve problems on both sides. It's sometimes a little bit unclear what to do next, but I never really found it to be a big problem. These type of segments generally lead into a more straightforward Zelda-ish dungeon with some unique puzzles and combat to mix things up. The combat is pretty unusual. It's not possible to move while aiming. Shots have to be aimed (somewhat) precisely. The health system is (intentionally) vague. Regaining health happens automatically, but interrupts actions. It's a bit awkward at first, but I think it's interesting. It's not too hard and there's not much penalty for death. I should also just mention that the soundtrack is fantastic and free to download on the developer's site. Overall, I just really like The Real Texas. It's a strange, unique game.

Классика инди-сцены, леворезьбовая пекашная "Зельда" с управлением на клавомыше и графикой а-ля Майнкрафт, происходящая в очень странном сеттинге параллельного мира английской средневековой деревушки и окрестностей. На лицо ужасная, но прекрасная внутри игра. А какой тут саундтрек, м-м-м...

Hey, you! You there, cowboy! Tired of your fictional life in sunny Texas running a ranch? Why not take a well earned break at Rockingham Castle in 'scenic' Leicestershire, England? Interested? Well step right up, boy... The Real Texas is an action RPG set mainly in a fantasy world full of bright square blobs and angry lizards which jump at your face if you walk near them. Frickin' lizards. I called one Mr Bitey, and then I shot him in the face, because thankfully in this particular fantasy world you're armed with a gun. You play as a Texan holidaying in England who steps through a mysterious blue portal into the unknown. The aesthetic is basic but endearing, the controls are simple and responsive, and the mood is light and humorous. The game has been out for four years but was only released on Steam this week, along with the 'Cellpop Goes Out at Night' DLC, which is a more bite-sized sequel. The Real Texas (DLC aside) offers around a dozen hours of gameplay - there's a lot to discover, with plenty of hidden items, clues and NPCs to chat to. There's some really nice touches here. The writing is pretty good, and the jokes work well for the most part. Think merrily giggling under your breath rather than rolling on the floor crying with laughter. I particularly enjoyed the fact that the characters go about their daily business as you might expect, which involves walking to their house at night to sleep, and then getting up and walking to work again in the morning. Sure, I know that's in Skyrim, but for a small indie title it's extra sprinkles on your Texan cupcake. Although it's fun stalking the characters around (hey, don't judge me, buddy) they spoil it somewhat by occasionally slowing turning around and staring at you silently, before eventually trotting off to wherever it was they were going. This game also features chickens in multiple colours! Who doesn't enjoy a game with a variety of chickens in it? There were a few minor annoyances here and there - you have a very limited inventory size, and whilst you can drop things off in various different boxes, there's a fair bit of to-ing and fro-ing to get the items you need. And going anywhere generally means navigating the face-biting lizards and their blobby friends. I won't spoil the story, which is fun and inventive, but I will say that a magical tune compels you to dance. On multiple occasions. If you're in the market for a well-written action RPG that won't consume the rest of your summer (I'm looking at you, Witcher 3) you could do far worse than this. This game was reviewed on behalf of TeamTom reviews using a free review code. For more game reviews and news, check out [url=teamtomreviews.co.uk]Teamtomreviews[/url] or join the group on Steam [url=http://steamcommunity.com/groups/TeamTomsReviews]here[/url] Oh and of course, have a nice day y'all ;)

A delightfully expansive, immersive, and quirky adventure. While the graphics are unabashedly rough, the world itself is beautifully enticing all the same. The game is littered with little short stories and oddball fun among the numerous, well-written characters. It provides the kind of immersion that happens when you don't have quest markers everywhere. In not searching for high drama or epic scale, the tale unfolds naturally through exploration in a way I didn't realize I'd been missing from other games. Fun to play and fun to share, The Real Texas is the off-kilter little adventure you've been waiting for when you need a nice escape from a boring work week.

(Most of my time with this was in the GOG.com version - trust me, I do have a lot of hours on it, just not on Steam's version.) The Real Texas is one of those odd games that I put off playing for ages for one reason or another, then when I finally get to it it becomes one of my all-time favourites. First off, I guess I should mention that it's definitely not a game for everyone. The pacing is a little slow at times, the dialogue and story is kind of quirky and weird (but intreguing and absolutely hilarious if you share that sense of humour), the world is weird and sometimes confusing, the art direction's papercraft style is very peculiar and unique... And if none of this is offputting to you, it instead gives a ton of charm to a wild ride of a game that you will never forget. Definitely one of the best unknown indie titles to grace the internet and something throughly special, you've never played another game quite like it and probably never will. If you're interested in quirky, weird, unique, charming, story-driven games like Earthbound or Undertale (though I'm a little hesitant to include that one because -everyone- came around with Undertale), you'll wonder how you missed this one for all of these years. If you prefer a straight-forward RPG or shooter or somesuch, maybe keep looking. PS: also, the music is fantastic and a -huge- soundtrack for this kind of undertaking. Excellent stuff.

One of few games I can truly say has a soul.

This is a humble yet [i]epic[/i] adventure in a realm of deep strangeness, a psychoactive Tir na Nog set up by the god of greed . . . which land is [i]also[/i] a weirdly wonky dreamscape shared quite naturally between Zelda and Ultima, with adits reaching into the underside of every point ‘n’ click there ever was. [i]This[/i] is the story of one desk-bound cowboy’s transdimensional catapulting into the pocket universe called Texas. You control the six-sided Swaggerer without a Name on his vacation to a castle in England -- where he discovers a portal to a separate reality populated by farmers, bankers, a catapult mechanic, an up-and-coming rapper, Charles Dickens the frozen chicken magnate, a sentient compost pile worshiped by a talking rat (I recognize those Far Side matron glasses, Mr. French!) . . . and a German alchemist whose failed escape attempts have caused, rather, various people from various times to be sucked into the same shifting pocket of unreality as himself. Your cowboy can examine or carry around just about any small item in Ultima-like fashion, while the combat is a real-time Zelda-esque deal, but with [i]exclusively[/i] projectile weapons -- using right-click to draw, and 1:1 mouse-driven crosshairs to guide the subsequent, left-clicked shots. The best way is to WASD yourself about, no serious attention given to the point ‘n’ click style “click and wait to get there” capability. The controls in general feel as humbly weird as anything else in the game -- strange but not [i]entirely[/i] unfamiliar -- and they manage to become transparent fairly fast. Once you’ve got the movement down, figuring out the rest is a snap; some of the combat can be a bit of a challenge (you can shoot the bats off your own back if that helps, and there is a wrestling belt, acquired early on, that lets you break away from the death-grip of slimes more easily), but most of the difficulty requires your thinking cap, or really, [i]your attention[/i]. But story and feel are what make [i]The Real Texas[/i] such an enthralling adventure. The simple electronic soundtrack, as sharp-edged yet oneiric as the graphics themselves, is haloed with a little tasteful reverb to give off that [i]haunted cave[/i] ambiance, and it sets the stage for something that starts out [i]gently unreal[/i] -- a little world of ordinary people in an extraordinary situation that has become old hat to them -- and goes down a spiraling sluice that threads the various troublesome incarnations of [b]greed[/b], the mysteries of the monocular Purple Bandits, the broad philosophy allowed by bilocation . . . with a little chin-scratching along the way about the simpler permutations of happiness. Ever had a dream with intricate structure, with its own rules, impregnated with a sense of humor that doesn’t demand you [i]guffaw[/i], but gleefully colors the atmosphere just the same? I have -- namely my deluxe dreams of Four-Armed Blinding Truth and of the body-modifying treasure-divers of the World Ocean, who need to actually [i]find[/i] treasure if they are to afford a reversal of the procedure at all -- and if [i]you[/i] have, you’ve never forgotten. That’s what the world of Texas is like; it’s a silly, sentimental, mysterious place with an appealing body of lore which may be a little misty on the margins, and it will leave one hell of an imprint on the metaphoric cardiac tissue of the open-hearted gamer. In other words, it gives back what you put into it, and more. The game is not long, nor is it tortuously hard, but it [i]does[/i] require your attention -- so don't play if you're more in the mood for instant explosions and optional exposition (or perhaps playing on some kind of [i]deadline[/i].) Do you have the patience to listen to some inoffensively odd people talk about their lives and aspirations in broad strokes for a few short sentences? Can you examine big and obvious objects, perhaps search them for smaller objects? Can you stand to die and retry just a [i]few[/i] times? Then you can enjoy and beat this game! The puzzles are highly logical -- even the [i]puzzle[/i] puzzles, even the two mazes. And though I've always [b]hated[/b] puzzle mazes, these actually did not bother me in the least. I completed them quickly and with a minimum of frustration -- I even felt a little tingle of pat-yourself-on-the-back accomplishment . . . maybe I even [i]liked[/i] the mazes, which in un-mazelike fashion kept me on a hungry forward drive, dangling new keys and items at short intervals for carrots. But enough about the mazes! I should say that there is also a string of interesting bosses at the end to test your trigger finger -- ham and an old game cartridge are involved -- but the fewer spoilers given about these weirdos the better. [I]The Real Texas[/i] is an underappreciated classic, and it was legitimately something of a [i]thing[/i] at its GOG debut in 2012. If it had been released a few years later -- but not much later, as it would have been completely snowed under by endless indies -- everybody would be talking about it today. So brew up some herbal tea and take some time out for a one-of-a-kind adventure, why don't you? (The way I see it, this game is an uncanny configuration of off-brand legos found inside a cookie jar left for forty years in the cobwebbed corner of an attic in a haunted house -- with a magic sigil scrawled on one plastic, parti-colored side of the device in still-delicious strawberry jam. This homely artifact hums with energy that is [i]actually[/i] a tiny voice speaking rapidly in an unknown language, yet you can understand it somehow, and it says: "Tired, under-equipped, bereft of horse (there are none in the game, by the way), or just plain [b]bemused[/b] -- a real cowboy always steps up to do what's gotta be done.")

A quirky gem, if a little rough around the edges, with a unified vision from a one-man dev. Although the tone is unique, gameplay wise it's a little bit of Little Big Adventure, Ultima 6/7, and Zelda all rolled up together. The graphical style quickly grew on me, and the music is very well done and reminds me of Virt in his IT tracker days (high praise) and I want to say TurboGrafx/PC Engine-era tunes? The writing is clever and witty (though not laugh-out-loud funny), and has depth without getting overly pretentious or full of itself. All three (graphics, music, and writing) come together into an off-beat, yet approachable and surprisingly immersive whole. The exploration is satisfying, and the game is a good length, with plenty of secrets to hunt for, but not so long as to wear its welcome out. As a one-man indie effort, there's bound to be some imperfections, and The Real Texas does have its share. Inventory management is clunky and obtrusive, and combat is servicable at best, with finicky controls. Sometimes it's not clear where to go next, which isn't a problem in itself, but it can result in a lot of backtracking through the same areas with enemies presenting more of a hassle than a challenge. Unlockable fast travel locations can help but were almost never placed quite where I wanted them to be. It's not going to be for everyone, but if you can accept the flaws and the lo-fi aesthetic and retro game design, The Real Texas is a wonderful experience.

I purchased and put at least 10-20 hours into this game way back in 2012, and really enjoyed finishing it. I'm a pretty old school PC gamer, but I also enjoy more streamlined console RPGs. To me, this game is the best of both worlds. Some of it feels like the older Ultima games, with lots of freedom when talking to characters, managing and discovering items, puzzling, and RPGing. However many elements are closer to a Legend of Zelda title, with a mostly linear narrative, action based combat, simple character progression, and overworld exploration. Some of the controls may take getting used to. Make sure you have a keyboard/mouse setup to enjoy the game properly. Graphically it's very stylized. The style grows on you as you play. So does Yesso's amazing soundtrack. Finally, I'd like to touch on the story and characters. The writing and characters are interesting, but best of all, everything feels like it belongs in the world. The layout of the world makes sense, even as there are many mysteries to discover. There are quirky characters, but they don't spout snarky, self referential lines. After 3 years, I don't recall all the details of the story. But I do remember feeling something *real* as I explored the world of Real Texas. Highly recommended, and I can't wait to dive back in via the DLC.