Zombie Pirates

Let's be totally up front here; Zombie Pirates both looks and feels like a game designed by someone who has never made a video game before. When it opens, it presents a quaint little opening where pirates destroy a person's ship and steals the owner's woman. Then, he rises from the dead because his love is too strong. Nothing special, but I understand - sometimes, you don't want to be too heavy with story. You just want a dumb little love story, and I can side with that. Our character has come back from the DEAD to save his love, because it's silly and this is a game about pirates and *zombies*. And then when you load the first level... you're playing as the pirates. Wait, we're against the zombies? We're the pirates? We stole that guy's love, killed him, destroyed his ship, and now we're Chuck McPirateFace, ruler of the Seven Seas, killing off hordes of zombie pirate ships? ...Okay... I guess? The game only told us that the one zombie guy came back. Where did all these zombie ships come from? And the gameplay. My god, the gameplay. There's an implied grid, and you sail your ship around it. When you get close to enemy ships, you fire at them. If they get close enough, they fire at you. You can't dodge the shots the enemy shoot at you, so your only option is to stay in a sweet spot range. Each enemy drops an item which can be helpful, but ultimately it's extremely difficult to downright impossible to utilize and use an item (in which at least one of them involves getting another ship to control, giving you a strategic advantage) and also keeping yourself in the sweet spot you need to be. And then, the game rates you on the *number of ships you've lost*. Are you trying to make a strategy game? If this were turn-based, I could understand punishing me for losing ships. But it's real time. You can't punish someone for losing ships in real time, especially if you're already expecting me to control my main ship in real time as well. Sew it all up with having to hear your main ship spit out dumb phrases ("These dead men are telling tales!"? Really?) over and over every time you move your character, and it becomes so sickeningly cheezy, and you're left with a sickly, amateur game that couldn't even keep me occupied for a friggin hour for me to review it in a serious manner. I'm disgraced to have this game in my library, and it is barely worth fifteen cents, let alone the fifteen dollar asking price. I find it funny that up above, in the game description, it seems to end with 'Zombie Pirates will send a shiver right'. The cut-off sentence just sounds like a question, and a good one. Will it send a shiver? Sure, but not from horror. Pastels do not lend themselves to horror. I shivered from the very idea that someone, somewhere spent the kind of money that could feed someone for a few days, or buy something objectively more interesting on this pile. tl;dr Avoid this game. It is not worth either your money or your time. If real-time strategy or tower defence is what you're after, there are better, cheaper games (read: Plants vs. Zombies, Sanctum).

Максимально ужасная игра, я уже не помню, как получил её, но явно бесплатно. За ту цену, которую она продаётся, вообще не стоит того. Флеш игры и то будут лучше. 0/10

Too expensive for what it does, it could work as a $1 game on mobile, but having a default $15 price tag you can just figure that devs aren't good at putting 1 and 1 together. This can't compete with most $15 DECENT games (so I'm not even considering games that got avg Metascore of 80+). It's not the worst thing on Steam, but you don't want to bother with it, it is forgettable, barely inspired, and plain simple, it is the archetype of a mobile game, not as fun as it should thou.

Pirates AND zombies? What's not to love? Well, the fact that I can't get it to run, for one. I was looking forward to a bit of casual swashbuckling mayhem but the game won't launch, and there has been close to zero forum activity for the game since its release - 10 years ago. One of the few forum posts did mention a possible fix by downloading an un-named something which worked for some and not others, but I just don't feel like going through the effort when there are so many other games to play... So sadly I won't be recommending this one.

Fun little casual Tower Defense game with moveable, upgradeable ships and a silly pun-laced story. Not especially ground-breaking or challenging but enjoyable nonetheless. Recommended on sale. - Skinny from the Fat B*stard [url=http://steamcommunity.com/groups/skinnyfat#](curator link)[/url]

一款RTS+TD结合的游戏 敌人从右面出现，你有一艘旗舰+一些关卡起始单位（也可能什么都没有）去防御他们的进攻 你杀死的敌人会掉落一个宝箱，会随机掉落三种道具：鸟儿（可以召唤己方单位）、酒杯（可以使用恢复己方单位生命值）、炸药桶（对一个范围造成AOE伤害），分别对应快捷键1-3 地图虽然看上去没有明显的格状分布，但你玩了后就知道，实际上每个停止的单位都会占据一个地图格子的，并不是任意位置都能停留 为什么说有RTS元素呢，因为你玩的时候会发现，需要你不停的拖动单位去拦截指定航道的敌人，或者向后撤离一些残血单位，这些设计上来说并不同于普通TD游戏那样只需要布局和策略，而无需过多的操作 难度挺高，主要体现在操控上，除了前面说的那些，你还需要点击拾取宝箱（过一段时间就会消失）、以及偶尔刷新的金币（这个东西就很迷，到底有什么用呢，完全不知道，感觉就是个数字），游戏在前期非常的手忙脚乱。。如果部队真的成型了以后反而难度变低了

It's a Phone/Tablet game (a time waster, as opposed to an involving PC Game), and belongs in that medium.

Stars received: 2.3/10 _ Note: v.6 [0.0 to 1] = personal impressions [0.5] Controls & Training & Help [0.2] Menu & Settings [0.2] Sound & Music [0.4] Graphics [0.3] Game Design [0] Game Story [0.4] Game Content [0.3] Completion time (level/game)? [0] is it Enjoyable & Fun? [0] Could it hold a spot in Favorites? (& if the Game can be repeatedly played again) [0] BONUS point: Multi-Player related [0] BONUS point: Review for VR [N] - if Registration is required with providing PII [No = Categorical] - is it acceptable to Play the Game in 2022+ ? Game description key-points: This Gamash, an old casual game ships vs ships Overview: game-play is based on the border defense against linear enemy waves. Allusion to zombies, however the fight is between ships :) should be fine for Kids !

Zombie Pirates is a little tower defense game that is a decent time killer at best. I think the demographic is for people way younger than me but I did get some enjoyment from this game. A very casual gaming experience.

[h1]Описание:[/h1] Аркада в которой мы корабликами защищаемся от вражеских корабликов. Уровней много, тематика пиратская - круто... В плане геймплея все сводится к быстрому собиранию и применению бонусов с отхилом своих кораблей и уничтожением вражеских. Русского нет, но и без него все понятно. Прошел по контенту только треть игры и она просто надоела... Реально очень много уровней и это не на один и не на два вечера. А если проходить все на 3 звезды то вообще месяц уйдет. Не понравилось, но играбельно. [h1]Оценка: 5/10[/h1] [h1]Послесловие:[/h1] Если вам понравился этот обзор добро пожаловать в группу http://steamcommunity.com/groups/uojer - тут вы сможете увидеть рекомендованные мною игры, другие обзоры, а также просто пообщаться в хорошей компании.