The Bard's Tale ARPG: Remastered and Resnarkled

I've completed this game on PS4, so excuse my low hour count. This is pre-Deadpool Deadpool. It's good. Play it.

It comes basically down to the question: do you like driving old cars despite all the issues? If it's fun to you, in the context of old games with old designs and old flaws, this one is a gem. I really like the tone of it, the fact that it never takes itself seriously and voice acting is stellar. It is especially hilarious when the narrator and the protagonist start to argue on things. Silly on purpose, that's what it is in general and it's great. It is exactly as I remembered from 20 years of distance just looks a tiny bit better than back in the days and runs on modern machines. Well, if you are annoyed too much of a little clunky gameplay (well, combat is not the best A-RPG sytem you can imagine), it's not your game. But if you happen to like old cars then you know that all the flaws are forgivable for the experience that you can't get elsewhere.

[h1] Review[/h1] I've been wanting to play this game for a long time, but I lost interest very quickly after only a few hours. The game has a really unique concept as an action-adventure with some RPG elements, acting as a parody of the genre. Unfortunately, it fails to be much more than that. [u]Gameplay[/u] You can create your own character, but the choices you make barely matter. You can choose to focus on either bows or melee combat. Investing in health, luck (for more money), and rhythm (for summons) is practically mandatory in every playthrough. You can also choose a difficulty setting, but this simply leaves your character underleveled by giving you fewer starting stat points. Combat revolves entirely around your weapon choice and the summons you decide to use. As you progress, you unlock new summons that make up your party. If a summon dies, you're forced to sit through a lengthy summoning animation to bring it back. If multiple summons die during a large fight, you're often better off reloading a checkpoint, as your magic regenerates very slowly and you'll spend a long time running around waiting for enough mana to resummon them. In addition to summons, there are consumable crystals that grant temporary magic spells. You'll eventually have more of these than you'll ever need, but using them is tedious because each one has a 20–30 second animation. The opening quests are incredibly engaging because they're spot-on parodies of common RPG tropes. Bump into too many NPCs? They get angry and refuse to apologize anymore. A simple fetch quest turns into tracking down four or five identical-looking twins who keep sending you on more errands just to mess with the protagonist, while the narrator constantly makes snarky remarks. It's genuinely funny and creative. Unfortunately, this creativity almost completely disappears after the first village. Beyond that, there's only one more city with a single memorable quest in the same style. You'll occasionally stumble across another funny joke or bizarre event, but they're few and far between, usually after hours of dungeon crawling. And yes, this game is mostly a dungeon crawler. You have to climb three towers, defeat their bosses, and collect key items from various dungeons just to gain access to them. None of the towers feature interesting quests, and each one takes roughly 30–50 minutes to complete. If combat is supposed to be the game's main focus, you'd expect it to be polished. It isn't. The combat simply doesn't work for two main reasons. First, enemies block constantly, and you have no reliable way to counter them other than blocking yourself, which accomplishes very little. The most effective strategy is to use bows or focus on dual-wielding, as the faster attacks can stunlock enemies before they have a chance to block again. Second, many enemies, especially druids, can repeatedly knock you and your party to the ground with spells, damaging you again while you're still stuck in the recovery animation. It's one of the clunkiest, slowest, and most frustrating combat systems I've experienced. Since combat makes up well over two-thirds of the game, it ultimately drags the entire experience down. [u]Story[/u] The story isn't particularly noteworthy beyond serving as a parody of the action-adventure genre. There's a decent twist near the end and three different endings, although they're all determined by a single choice in the finale. It wraps up in a satisfying way, but there's simply not enough story or worldbuilding to carry such a long game. Outside of the first village and one city, there's very little storytelling or humor to break up the endless dungeon crawling. [u]Sound[/u] The game features surprisingly solid voice acting. The narrator, protagonist, and supporting characters all deliver enjoyable performances, complete with various Scottish accents. The soundtrack also includes fully voiced songs that fit the game's comedic tone perfectly. [u]Conclusion/TL;DR[/u] As a complete package, the game is disappointing. Its clunky combat system and lengthy, repetitive dungeons overshadow the genuinely funny parody and strong opening hours. While the concept is excellent, the developers failed to build enough interesting content around it, instead relying on a combat system that quickly becomes frustrating. The charm wears off after the first few hours, leaving behind a fairly generic and mediocre action-adventure.

The Bard's Tale is a genuinely funny action-RPG that earns its laughs through sharp writing, excellent voice acting from Cary Elwes and Tony Jay, and a refreshingly self-aware take on fantasy RPG tropes — the dynamic between the snarky Bard and the contemptuous Narrator alone is worth the price of admission. The musical numbers, especially the recurring 'Bad Luck' song sung by the Trow Trio, are catchy enough to stick with you long after you've put the game down. That said, the combat gets repetitive fast, cycling through the same summon-and-slash loop with enemies that love to block everything, and the technical side shows its age with crashes, clunky controls, and controller support that borders on broken by modern standards. If you can tolerate those rough edges and go in treating it as a comedic adventure rather than a deep RPG, there's a genuinely charming experience here. Recommended for players who want laughs and atmosphere over mechanical depth — just save often.

Слушай сюда. Ты ИЗБРАННЫЙ. Не отворачивайся, не делай вид, что это не про тебя. Про тебя. Ты ИЗБРАННЫЙ из ИЗБРАННЫХ, ты тот самый ИЗБРАННЫЙ, об ИЗБРАНИИ которого ИЗБРАННО шептались ИЗБРАННЫЕ старцы. Ты ИЗБРАН. Тебя ИЗБРАЛИ. ИЗБРАНИЕ твоё ИЗБРАННО, ИЗБРАННОСТЬ твоя ИЗБРАННА, и других ИЗБРАННИКОВ на эту ИЗБРАННУЮ должность нет, я проверял список ИЗБРАННЫХ лично. Древнее пророчество гласит, что в эпоху, когда видеоигры утонут в пафосе и серьёзных лицах, явится ИЗБРАННЫЙ. И этот ИЗБРАННЫЙ - ты, Звёзды сошлись над ИЗБРАННОЙ твоей головой. Планеты выстроились в ИЗБРАННУЮ линию. Все знаки указывают строго в одном направлении: на иконку Steam на твоём ИЗБРАННОМ рабочем столе. Ты должен сыграть в The Bard's Tale. Это твоё ИЗБРАННОЕ предназначение, это то, ради чего ты был ИЗБРАН ещё до рождения, ради чего твои родители когда-то встретились ИЗБРАННЫМ вечером, ради чего разраб вообще выпустил эту игру. Он знал, что когда-нибудь придёт ИЗБРАННЫЙ. Он ждал именно тебя, ИЗБРАННОГО. Бремя ИЗБРАННОСТИ тяжело, я понимаю. Многие ИЗБРАННЫЕ до тебя пытались отказаться от ИЗБРАНИЯ, спрятаться от ИЗБРАННОСТИ, переехать в НЕИЗБРАННЫЕ края, побриться налысо и уйти в монастырь для НЕИЗБРАННЫХ. Не помогает. Пророчество всё равно постучится в дверь кельи и вежливо напомнит ИЗБРАННОМУ, что он так и не прошёл The Bard's Tale. Так что давай уже, ИЗБРАННЫЙ. Открывай Steam. ИЗБРАННАЯ судьба ждёт.

Hidden gem right here. Loved the dry humor from Tony Jay (narrator) and Cary Elwes (the Bard) and the music you have to save for your playlist.

Крутейшая игра сказка играл на старом еще компе в 2007 году в нее.Фулл прошёл.

Broken. Frames locked too low.

Due to a control breaking bug this game is sadly unplayable at the time of writing on most linux systems including the steam deck

АРПГ БУКВАЛЬНО ДЕЛАЕТ В ТРУХУ РАЗФОРШЕННЫЙ ЖАНР ИГР КАК ЖРПГ. ДА, ШКОЛОТА 2005-2026 ГОДОВ ВСЁ ЕЩЕ НЕ УДИВЛЯЕТ ПОДШАРИВАНИЕМ