I love narrative-focused sci-fi shooters that emphasise big set-pieces and tight combat encounters in controlled environments just like any good samaritan. Whether it be the tentpole releases like Half-Life or Halo, the ones that flew under the radar like Prey or TimeShift, or the ones that fell by the wayside due to either a limited release, a small budget, having been ripped to shreds by critics, or a combination of all three like Gene Troopers, You Are Empty, or Rat Hunter — what I'm trying to say is I can stomach most anything the FPS genre throws my way, and can overlook potential transgressions if the game gives me something solid to chew on.
I'm an avowed jankmeister — one look at my profile and you'll see that I've subjected myself to an overwhelming amount of FPS slop primarily released during the dark ages, the 2000s — but even I have my limits. Kreed may just be my limit. There are far worse shooters out there from this same time period — They're Alive!, Steam Slug, and Patriot: DemocratiZation just to name a few — but there are seldom few video games that aim to antagonise the player THIS much. The aforementioned dregs combined would take me less time to beat than it did to finish this piece of ♥♥♥♥, and it's only 6 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hours long! Unfortunately it felt like it was closer to 40, and I think it has something to do with the fact that while each level is conceptually different, every ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ room is the exact same. Each new room is a carbon copy of the last one you were in. And the levels can be gargantuan, and these rooms can lead to rooms that can lead to rooms that go nowhere, so there's a whole load of backtracking to be done.
If you're a diehard jacob-head, you might recognise that these criticisms I'm lobbing are the exact same adulations I gave Operation: Matriarchy — monumentous level design that feels alien, as if the player has literally been transported to another world not meant for us humans and made to run amok among the unnatural architecture and layout. I like Matriarchy more than probably anyone else — one because I'm a sick ♥♥♥♥, and two because I'm a sick ♥♥♥♥ — but I'll tell you this right now that Kreed is technically the better game. It's got the superior gunplay, music and sound design, actual cutscenes, and just generally looks better. It doesn't have Matriarchy's sickness inducing character and world design, but it gets pretty close in the back half.
So why does Kreed falter where Operation: Matriarchy succeeds? IT'S THE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ROOMS, THEY ALL LOOK THE EXACT SAME. The developers have never heard of "signposting", nor have they ever heard of "playtesting", so traversing the world of Kreed becomes a nightmare where if you take one wrong turn you're gonna be lost for like 5 minutes trying to figure out how to backtrack to the "hub" room. Don't even get me started on the "running" speed. The final 2 levels might be the most egregious case of padding I've seen in a long while. The penultimate level has you making your way through a labyrinthine canyon with many different paths that — you guessed it — look the exact same. You get to this cathedral(?) in the canyon, watch a hologram monologue, then backtrack to the beginning of the level to get to a portal that has now opened, all while the yellow floating orb creatures you've been shooting the last 20 minutes respawn and royally ♥♥♥♥ You again. Then the big finale has you running through an orb-filled cave in what might genuinely be the worst level design in all of video games history. If you thought the repetitive rooms of Kreed was bad before, wait 'til you see this ♥♥♥♥.
It hurts, it just hurts. I'm still a sick ♥♥♥♥ and will most definitely be playing the expansion pack (which I've been told is an improvement on all fronts for the Kreed franchise), but I simply can't recommend this to anyone. If you can't stomach slavjank, what the hell are you doing here? And if you can stomach it, you should steer clear anyway. There's so many better choices if you're looking for a jank re-up. This is not one of those choices.
