Dissolution of My Self

The art style, writing, and portrayal of mutual toxic obsession is lovely in this game. The writing, especially—the author has a way with words. I really liked the toxic incest aspect, the subverted dynamics from a typical BL, the slow unraveling of their background and relationship progression. You can see why they became so dangerously attached to each other. Matvey and Hector are fascinating characters; what a treat it was to read Hector's humorous, sadistic narration and Matvey's fanatic nationalism. Personally, it would've been a 10/10 for me if it weren't for the ending, which I think can be polarizing. [spoiler] Other than age regression not being as much of my thing, I found the unveiling of Hector becoming a baby to be an absurdly jarring conclusion to a heavy story. There were clues leading up to it, and I figured that Hector would lose all of his memories. Still, the secondhand embarrassment was painful and I felt a little dissatisfied. Alas, it's not my kink. [/spoiler] As for whether taking the pills matters or not, not really other than some narration changes. If you're wondering which is better: [spoiler] I preferred not taking the pills and reading the spicier, unfiltered narration for most of it, but the blue narration for the ending made it feel better since it expands upon Hector's feelings. [/spoiler] Overall, I enjoyed playing through this especially with the fantastic art style and voice acting. Just be aware of the warnings!

2小时打了两周目全成就了，真是一场酣畅淋漓的小头大冒险啊！ 一边觉得主创坦率地为了小头做出一个完整游戏十分努力，点击物品来获取回忆的形式很合适，大脑的小巧思很q弹，找的cv也牛逼；一边在结尾[spoiler]听大婴儿哭闹 [/spoiler]好难绷一直憋笑，[strike] 主唱[/strike]cv太拼命了！ 通关后[spoiler]伪wiki界面讨论说趁回高中的时候刺杀很有创意也好难绷，我又在笑。。。 [/spoiler] 感觉这俩人关系belike[spoiler]我想你孵我，你却只想孵一个死掉的国家！[/spoiler] 总体来说是一款个人爱好很强烈的、叙事比较完整的bl小品作，游玩体验比较轻松。demo内容不少（包含前两章），犹豫的朋友可以先玩demo对对电波。 另外系统目前稍有卡顿，快进时不会过滤出未读内容，SL也有点反直觉（或许可以标注在房间UI中展示的只是快速读档），希望能有改善。

爱欲如迎风火炬，必有烧手之患 喜欢非典型爱情，扭曲男同性恋，恋母情结的入吧！ 两位颠公完美诠释了什么锅配什么盖，在改造对方的同时，自己也被对方深刻的改造了，以至于到了最后无法挽回的解体。实在是没想到最后解体是这样啊！不过也确实，赫克托实在是太想让副官不只是副官了，仔细想想十分合理啊。 看上去显性精神病的赫克托，其实字里行间里向我们展示的马特维，是一个更大的隐形精神病口牙！这样的两个人在一块是没有办法治好对方的！果然赫克托的病。。。越来越严重了0.0 如果灭国没有发生的话感觉两位能幸福的在一起吗？不清楚，可惜一切已经发生。目前只体验了放弃治疗ver.。美味美味！赫克托对马特维从小开始的爱，后面隐隐的恨，到最后占据他几乎全部心神的恐慌和依恋，不正是马特维一手纵容培养的吗哈哈哈哈哈，五蚂蚁！理解简介为什么说是酷刑了。。。如果能有后日谈的话就好了QAQ

Sheeesh. Not a game to recommend lightly but to your closest allies in depravity it's a hit. The mutual codependency is such an interesting dymanic and oftentimes the main character mentions something so ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up off-handedly you do a double-take. If I had one criticism its that the replay value to get the extra achievements feels very repetitive. You feel a bit like you're just replaying for the achievements because the dialogue difference between the two routes is minimal and has no effect on the actual events playing out. But in a way isn't that poetic? It doesn't matter how the main character felt about his actions, the story was always going to end like this. [spoiler] I would've loved to see the two routes end in opposite but equally ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up ways tbh. While I know that Hector is the dominant party even in his infant mindset I would love to see him make Matvey entirely reliant on him instead of forcing Matvey into the caretaker/mother role maybe lean more into wife-ing him up. That's what fanfiction is for though! [/spoiler] It did end up going a bit left field for my personal kinks but I know several people I can throw this at who will adore the ending. [spoiler] Age regression just isn't my favourite cup of tea, especially to the state that Hector ends at. It was sufficiently foreshadowed but on a first viewing comes out of left field a bit. It was a very well executed shock! [/spoiler] Overall a short but bitterly sweet game for primo incest lovers!

[i]"Kresovia is a cicada that died in the height of summer; I'm the shell it left behind, not yet rotted away. I put it so poetically because I don't want to be the only living thing on a corpse: a maggot."[/i] lovely art, beautiful writing, amazing voice acting. I actually found myself feeling a great deal of pity for our protagonist (which doesn't seem to be too popular of an opinion, LOL). the central relationship is thrillingly dark, complicated, and erotic. one of my favorite minor moments is when [spoiler]Matvey is made to warm Hector's wine by holding the wine glass between his thighs[/spoiler]... it's just really sexy, okay. I thought it was particularly interesting how the feelings that the characters have for their lost home become transposed on the feelings they have for each other e.g. [spoiler]Matvey's status as Kresovia's widow and Hector's ambivalent resentment towards his motherland.[/spoiler] and, of course, there's the fact that Hector (crown prince of the Kingdom) can only find his pleasure when he is exploiting Matvey (the perfect representation of the Union and its people, even though he hates it), and [spoiler]the way that the game ultimately ends with Hector nursing parasitically at Matvey's teat.[/spoiler] great stuff.

想了很久要怎么写出这篇评测。[b] 于 对文字敏感的、能轻易通过阅读文字去构想场景和氛围的人而言，或许会有更加强烈而且令人震悚的心理冲击…… [/b] os：我太痛苦了，我太享受了，我太痛苦了，我太喜欢了！倒贴？！主从！？扭曲心理？！！真心受到了这对死给的伤害，所以要把这种因为喜爱而受伤的痛苦一并传播给朋友们，[strike] 我在虐待你们？开什么玩笑。这可是我唯一能得到慰藉的方式了，难道你就连这都想要剥夺…… [/strike] 游戏性的方面，比一般的视觉小说要稍微多出一部分探索的空间。（不会吧，不会真的有人玩了二十多分钟总感觉少了什么才意识到是右键拖视角吧，小头一直动也不是不好好看引导的理由！）除了点击物品调查这种比较经典的探索点之外，个人感到非常喜爱的部分是[b] *赫克托不想回忆了……* [/b]的处理方式。按住加滚轮像是用指甲抠开封蜡、卷起遮盖，拖动像是拂去灰尘、拉开抽屉、揭掉表层的现象，连续点击像是揉搓纸团、攥紧双手、指节对着毛毯和盒子敲敲打打（的焦躁感），红色时点击像在阵发的偏头痛（？）中集中精神寻找想要回忆起来的部分。对我而言是很有趣的交互——尤其是在完全投入到赫克托的视角的时候。结局前的[spoiler] 退行宣言再前面点的 [/spoiler]那个连续点击确认[spoiler] 成为婴儿 [/spoiler]，真是一个美妙的递进…… 健忘症到忘记说很喜欢ui扭曲的部分。无论是从一开始就有的设置/回顾界面的大脑扭曲，还是越来越明显的探索界面的场景扭曲。聚焦（鼠标所指）的部分，正在经受什么样的变化呢。 故事性的方面，看到很多人说太短了/没有前日谈后日谈/没有he之类的……虽然确实很短啦！？但我觉得这种体量处在一个短小精悍而又有一些细细品味的空间的程度上，对于健忘症患者（我）刚好是大部分都能在游玩后记住，而且重点非常鲜明……有很多，非常非常多的call back和我喜欢的概念，比方说日报，推荐（陷害）给我的朋友云：新闻上也没有登什么国家大事，都是那种小方块一样的闲杂日常。那个国家在哪里呢？它好像没被郑重报道过，但是又消融在每个角落像洋葱汤的泡沫一样……我说：可是一个政体的消失，对于远在地球彼端的人来说又代表什么呢？每个人的时间依然还在过去。生活并不会为一个或两个痛苦的人而有丝毫的同情和停留。但故乡又去了哪里呢？在“不问出身”栏吗？ 完全能够理解赫克托这种把一切的表现聚焦向自己所以更焦躁敏感而且攻击性增强的心理，因而更觉得吃药线真是美丽啊……多么精巧而淋漓的痛苦！血是甘甜的而泪也是维生所必须的盐构成的啊！来吧给我看看你的痛苦你的疲惫你的压力你的原生家庭你的精神创伤.jpg 个人来说（超级个人小头了）真想看到一个把叔叔杀掉再自杀的结局啊我可太喜欢破罐子破摔了。不过这个比起结局来说逃避的倾向太明显，也不符合赫克托的特质。还是现在这样就最完美了……你是舒服了，痛苦呢怎么就留给我了……（抱头） 嗯以及，[h3] 软色情真是人类无法直面爱时的最佳选择啊 [/h3] [strike] 没有直接草起来反而回味十足了遐想无限了沉浸在当黄片导演的感觉里了，你叔叔我也想草……没说赫克托就不性感的意思，我太喜欢这叔侄俩了，左手一个赫克托右手一个马特维按到一起开始玩手偶.jpg [/strike] 非常有趣的一点是由于全篇的叙述视角都是赫克托，所以我们无从知道马特维的心究竟在诉说着什么。亲爱？友爱？君臣爱？母爱？父爱？情爱？性爱？盲爱？利他爱？（点播一首爱属性）不表达才令人感到折磨、猜疑、嫉妒、无助、绝望和疯狂，那么，你又是为什么要接受呢？写一篇报告给我！！！（大喊）也因为弃疗和吃药的视角都是赫克托，所以其中的温度差也十分十分的值得细细品味……亲眼见证一个人的溶解和崩解是两种感觉呢。 也很喜欢把叔叔比作食物和热水袋的部分。比喻是需要想象的，而一个生活空间甚至不能超过步程一小时的范围的人，即便有电视又能如何在情景喜剧和脱口秀（我觉得这个情景剧也是一个很特别的设置），还有各种新闻里找到什么绮丽的事物，或者翻出记忆深处的那些相对美好一些的内容（。）comedy本身作为一种在美学上是荒诞、幽默、离奇、讽刺、揶揄（后面忘了）的表现概念居然会出现在这样一个满是痛苦的屋子里，但又是情景喜剧而生出令人毫无去参与和理解笑的动机的场景……在一个被搭建好的屋子里看着一群在搭建好的幕布下扯淡的人做着毫无意义不知所谓的事，真是……！而且看这个的原因，就是为了消解毫无意义不知所谓的生活的虚无（大笑）（太喜欢了！） （暂时没想好这段要如何表达，总之一阵悠扬的手风琴音乐声）（故乡啊……） [strike] 一些比较令本人感到崩溃的部分但依然是建立在喜爱的基础上才会倍加崩溃的 [/strike] [spoiler] （出于私人原因所以对*母亲*的概念感到极度悲观，但依然认可其所代表的*包容*和*原点*的象征）一直隐隐约约的不适感和痛苦的感觉终于在准备打开玩二周目的时候看到一周目结局cg马特维那个袒露半边肩膀哺乳一般的背影的时候爆发了………………好痛苦！你不该甘愿成为母亲，马特维，你，或者王妃，还有任何人，男人，女人，年轻的年老的，健康的或病弱的，都不，不。。。不，，，，为啥啊！！？为什么要这样啊！！！！你们咋了？！？？[/spoiler]感觉这种痛苦一大半的来源都在于除了赫克托的视野以外无从见证马特维的一切，所以对于这种……太过于炽灼的，坚定、执着、不求回报、极端理想化的行为，只感到被灼伤的冰冷和痛苦。因为过度投入了赫克托的视角所以这种心情连带着也加倍了。（没有把主角穿走的意思）（叠甲中）爱是什么样的情感……事到如今，不会有人问，也不会有人答了呢！ 不过确实还没打完吃药线等打完了我再编辑一次好了（擦汗）

可以买来玩玩，流程很短全成就1.5h。优点是cv不错，文笔氛围阴湿还行，主打小众xp了，躁郁性虐待之类两位患者的双向奔赴。缺点是我认为作为一个发售游戏，不能讲明白一个完整的故事是最大的诟病，就算电波系也不能啥也不讲吧，看了开头还以为是什么很大胆的xp作品，玩完发现就逮着xp写了，看了一集十分晋江的躁郁症攻x自我奉献受，像番外。嗯。其他方面也是及格而已，没有特别深的记忆点。对上电波的大概会特别爱，我仅本着游戏这个表现形式发表意见。