Cubemen 2

Slightly messy, simple and uninteresting.

A repetitive cube-induced psychological erosion. Random levels duct-taped together while the developers were probably eating cold pizza at 4 AM. There’s NO STORY. NONE. Zero. Not even a pathetic little “General Cubeington has betrayed the square kingdom” cutscene. Just mission after mission after mission of increasingly annoying wave spam like some kind of geometric purgatory. These absolute cube-brained gremlins or enemy AI don’t even use special units properly, meaning you can cheese half the campaign by abusing wall placements like a filthy tactical raccoon. The strategy eventually devolves into: “Place walls. Spam Grill units. Upgrade Grill units. Repeat until your soul exits your body.” That’s it. That’s the campaign. I used Grill units so much I started feeling like I was managing a fast-food restaurant instead of fighting a war. And WHO thought it was a good idea to have NO SAVING during the campaign? EXCUSE ME? So the game basically grabs your schedule by the throat and screams: “Sit down for THREE HOURS, cube slave.” Because if life interrupts you? TOO BAD. Hope you enjoy replaying the same cube apocalypse again from the beginning like some cursed time-loop victim. Now let’s discuss the controls — specifically the unit selection system, which feels like it was engineered by a caffeinated baboon wearing oven mitts. You click one unit? Oops, wrong cube. Now your previous unit is sprinting suicidally across the map toward certain death while you scream at the monitor like a sleep-deprived military commander losing his last marble. A separate move/select key would’ve solved this immediately. But apparently that technology was too advanced for Cube NASA. And the health tile? HAHAHAHA WHAT IS BALANCE. That thing heals so fast one player can squat on it like a territorial sewer goblin and become basically immortal. Matches stop feeling tactical and start feeling like you’re trying to evict a crackhead from a magical healing parking spot. Then there’s the combat AI. OH MY GOD. Sometimes your units just… stop fighting. Enemies walk RIGHT past them and the units stare into the void like they’re having an existential crisis mid-battle. “Sir, the enemy is advancing!” Cube soldier: “Nah bro… I’m reflecting on life.” ABSOLUTE PEAK MILITARY PERFORMANCE. And finally — the music. Where. THE &#$%!. Is the epic menu music from the original Cubemen? The first game’s menu made you feel like you were about to command an elite tactical cube army into glorious battle. This game’s menu feels like a corporate waiting room designed by depressed geometry teachers. To the developers or CEO sitting in a swivel chair petting a cube-shaped cat somewhere , Kindly do not make these mistakes again in Cubewomen if that is what going on in your head for your next venture.

juicer

ni lo he jugado desde que lo tengo

Cubemen 2

Tower defense game with completely dead multiplayer and boring campaign.

Cubemen 2 takes the same, passable at best, gameplay mechanic from the first game and tries to convince it can be really fun this time. To no one's surprise, it is still the same game that feels quite mundane very quick. It does feel like the developer is aware of its flaw as the grindy missions and achievements try to stretch its playtime by adding pointless goals. To make it worse, missions are only available three at a time, making your grind even unnecessarily longer than it should be. There are zero new offensive units, and some of them are nerfed quite a bit. What is quite hilarious is that their new upgrade system basically just turns the nerfed units to where they were from the first game. The game is also incredibly buggy. Units getting stuck, or not following orders entirely at all times, the game feels like it's on alpha state. Back when the development was active years ago, a lot of complaints were made to its boring mission system, but the developers were convinced they were a good idea. It goes to show they are allergic to ditching any grind-heavy ideas. As always with any Cubemen games, there are just better tower defense games to play instead.

Fun little game. I've never gotten too deep into making and building the puzzles, which would probably add even more to it. But just downloading other people's puzzles and solving them is a lot of fun.

This game is sooooooooooOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo addicting and amazing, I give it 10/10!

Boring, clunky tower defense game. Brings nothing interesting or neat to the formula. The maps are terrible and don't really give any good building sites. The game tries to offer some challenge by have enemies that attack, but the attacks are unavoidable rockets without distance that deal massive damage, the result being that the only way to survive is to field your entire force right outside of the enemy spawn point and kill them as fast as you can, eliminating any incentive to build mazes.