Wolfenstein: The New Order

Who. The ♥♥♥♥. Gave Wolfenstein. To Bethesda. This is CoD with an artificial Wolfenstein flavour. Which is ironic since the previous game was Activision. Yet, that one felt way more like Wolfenstein, probably because it was in Raven’s hands at least. This, on the other hand, is a complete betrayal of the franchise first, and the medium second, as they tried so hard to make this more of a movie and less of a video game. [i]It was the style at the time[/i]. This is very evidently a child of the 2010s. Ironically, the most glaring issue here is that the narrative compartment in this game is a masterpiece of ♥♥♥♥♥. The scenes smell of bald and sweaty fifty years old man, yet the dialogue screams 2010s millennial quirky writing, and the take on the alternate history is as shallow as it can be, with no visible differences from what the actual nazis were doing apart from a [spoiler]“nazi-washed” London[/spoiler] and [spoiler]“nazi-washed” historical moments like the atomic bomb and the first landing on the moon[/spoiler]. There is no exploration on what a world ruled by Nazism would be like apart from newspapers and [spoiler]the London levels[/spoiler], as most of the game is set in Germany or territories that were already conquered during the war, and no escalation of drama other than the fact that they’re barely more technologically advanced than they were during the game’s war. It’s the worst narrative of the series and I’m including Wolfenstein 3D. I found the characters themselves to be even likable, though, especially because I chose Fergus (who, after doing Wyatt for the remaining achievements, I found to be the only real choice, as literally everything is worse with Wyatt); the problem is really about how these decent character designs were depicted in the scenes so artificially. Blazkowicz is a compromise between the "simple-minded" nazi-killing muscle machine of 3D and RtCW and the charismatic spy of 2009, and if I pretend the embarrassing internal monologues don't exist, I can almost tolerate this iteration, even though I would’ve preferred if he was a little smarter and a bit less American (J's monologue “you were the nazis” was cool but his reaction was honestly completely braindead); he’s definitely more of a musclehead than he needs to be. I won’t talk about the canon because I was confused about it from start to finish. The gameplay has you killing nazis in gruesome ways with a decent arsenal and a (finally) functioning stealth, and this is just about what I can say is positive about this gameplay. It’s a huge downgrade from 2009 both for Blazkowicz and the nazis, who are nerfed to just battle it out with hitscans. Just me and them shooting each other from cover with guns that look different but are functionally the same, which pretty much proves that this is called Wolfenstein just to use the name and the theme. It’s decent fun until the bullet sponges come out; then, it’s just a matter of peeking the corner and hit-trading until they die and you’re hopefully left with a decent amount of health and armour. Long gone are the days when the guns had different mechanics and with them I fought the agile elite guards, magical nazis and Lovecraftian entities: best this can offer are [spoiler]robot dogs[/spoiler] and a [spoiler]laser gun[/spoiler]. But even then, most of the playtime for me was focused on picking up things, be it useless collectibles, ammo, health and armour. The topic of secrets and collectibles is worth going into some more detail, because it’s absolutely ball-crushing and I’m not joking about the amount of time it stole. What the devs failed to understand is that secrets were never just flavour, originally. Finding a secret in Wolf 3D (and Doom after it) could be the difference between surviving the nazis and being gunned down by them. If you used the lives system like I did, the treasure meant more tries before you had to restart the whole episode. In RtCW, gold was useless, but you could still find resources in secrets. In 2009, there were actually good upgrades that were unlocked and bought with collectibles. Here, you’re wandering the maps to find stuff that has absolutely no use other than filling completion, that they probably put in there just because Wolfenstein is supposed to have secrets and treasures. As I said, artificial Wolfenstein flavour sprayed onto an uninspired shooter. Design ideas like the dual timeline and the perks are senseless. Absolutely useless additions that are there just to fake some design depth. Perks are a hassle to farm if they don’t fit your preferred playstyle, for very little return. They are quite literally there just to exist. I genuinely cannot tell the difference from having a perk or not, a huge downgrade from the weapon upgrades of 2009. And the dual timeline is simply an excuse to stretch the actual length of the game with nearly no effort from the devs. Nothing meaningful is changed and even then, one choice is clearly better than the other. Since the gameplay wasn’t enough to spit on Wolfenstein, they completely removed the occult. Wolfenstein with no occult is simply a scam. I feel scammed and I didn’t even pay full price (though I did buy the whole collection, lucky me). That was half the theme of the games. The nazis were fixated on science and the occult (or so it is said), and the games all pushed both sides to entertaining extremizations. And don’t even get me started on how they treated Deathshead. Bro is the villain for the third time but even he couldn’t escape the nerfs. Last time he was summoning otherworldly beings and now the best he can do is make some basic ahh robots. Lastly, the experience was quite lacking technically. Max audio was too low and I was forced to raise the general volume, minimum sens was too high and I was forced to lower my mouse dpi. I enabled subtitles for foreign languages only and they put them for Fergus as well, because “ahah Scottish am I right?” [strike]you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥[/strike], yet I got Deathshead talking in Hans and Franz accent and there are no subtitles, so I can’t understand ♥♥♥♥. The most chaotic levels tend to be quite janky and it often didn’t feel nice to move through them, and one time an NPC got stuck and I had to restart from the checkpoint. I also got motion sickness. I don’t usually get motion sickness. Go figure. Maybe it was just my stomach telling me that this game wasn’t worth it.

Everyday is a good day to kill a Nazi and this game has plenty of ways to do it 10/10 will kill again

Not enough Nazis to kill

toujours un plaisir de massacré des fachos et des nazis, surtout en ce moment

Masowa eksterminacja narodu niemieckiego nigdy przedtem nie była tak świetną zabawą :)

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kill nazi and work with jews I hate jew but like this game 10/10

when eres bethesda y eres incapaz de hacer que el juego corra en amd porque estan muy ocupados poniendo items en el fallout shellter xdxd

Killing Nazis is always fun.

i have my occasional issue but this game is literally perfect cuz u get to murder nazi scum