You set up 20 AA guns all over a field, a single plane flies over and they unload on it. You sit there, a smirk on your face, as you fully expect this pitiful attempt at CAS to be over before it has begun. But then, a realization dawns on you. The hundred of rounds filling the sky are doing nothing. It's as if one of gods angels themselves have come from the heavens to smite you. Your confusion grows to concern as you see Michael himself circling the skies once more, the hundreds of rounds have now surely become thousands and your fresh convoy is in his sights. Then, you see it, a tiny red bar appears above the aircraft that says "stress". Your concern is reaching unparalleled levels before in all of your RTS gaming history. You scramble searching through your units for your dog fighter. Alas, to no avail, as its locked behind Phase C and you have 3 minutes to go before you can spawn it. Your mounting concern grows to horror as you see a small shaft, released from its shackles and descending upon your troops. In a moment of desperation you spread them out and surprisingly they cooperate with your commands hiding behind buildings, rocks, forest, all within a few seconds the disperse and your horror converts to relief. "Surely" you think to yourself, "surely they will be fine. I'll only suffer minor casualties. After all, the bomb is about the size of one of those guys' hands". You fool. A blinding flash engulfs your room, your ears ringing, blinded by the blasts majesty, you're entirely convince you felt the shock wave through your screen. As your eyes adjust all you see is a browned smudge texture of a crater where your units were. The blast not only destroyed them but everything within a square mile with them. Your shock transfers to rage as you wind your fist back to smash your monitor. But you calm yourself. You realize that maybe explosives are simply the key. You restart. This time investing into artillery units. With your newfound confidence you send them forth. But to your astonishment they can barely shoot 100 meters away. Then suddenly, as if the meteor shower which annihilated the dinosaurs itself has returned you see the stratosphere fill with dozens of small blips raining down upon your troops. At this point you are simply baffled. You don't understand whats happening. The arcs show it coming from miles away when your arty cant even piss far enough to hit anything. Then, once more, your men are annihilated. Even the memory of them is erased and you slouch back, unsure of why the AI is shelling nothing. You feel utterly defeated. Your entire sense of satisfaction has been ripped from your very soul. And then you think "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥... Company of Heroes is so much better."
If you want to play the most arcadey, historically inaccurate, bias fueled, RTS you've ever played... then ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ you've found the best game in the world. But considering I refuse to believe most history buff gamers want that. I cannot recommend this to the general public. This game oozes with the juices that feed sweaty ass meta gamers. In reviews and gameplay, they are the only kind of people I see recommending and/or playing this ♥♥♥♥. The maps are about 95% copy paste. Its like a spot the difference game more than it is a WW2 game. And speaking of, the only thing that makes this WW2 is the skins and nameplates. There is no depth beyond that. The only thing that could possibly redeem it is mods, but the biggest (and pretty much only decent) overhaul isn't much better as the authors drool at night thinking of sucking off Uncle Sam. So, if you're into any semblance of realism and don't care about perfect balance to the degree Thanos does, then play Company of Heroes. It's arguably more in depth, has more maps, has character, feels like WW2, and you won't stand up after a match sweating worse than if you just ran 10 kilometers. In my humblest opinion, the only thing this game has going for it are its pretty graphics, but the arcadeyness even ruins that. The only reason it's alive is due to the worst plague gaming has ever seen... tryhards, sweats, and metagamers.
