Space Warlord Baby Trading Simulator

Stylish and funny but there's so little substance to this game that I find myself bored after two hours.

It's a novel idea but there's nothing here at all. You pick one baby out of 4 options, random unpredictable events happen to it and the price goes up or down. You don't get any real info about a baby such as IQ or parents or whatever. There are "consultants" who give you a fair idea of some aspects of the baby like general lifespan, but not much and of course they're wrong quite a bit. Each game has a time limit. So it's not like you're building wealth and progressing. It's a series of short scenarios and campaigns that you can play in one sitting. And that makes sense, because the game is so shallow that it would be exposed if it tried to do anything more than that. If the topic wasn't babies but stocks overall and the game had to survive on what it actually was, you would never have heard of this title. Even if you do want this in your library, $20 is insane. I paid $16 for this on sale and that is also insane. It's maybe worth $2-$5.

my baby became a general and dropped 3 nukes and surged in price at the ripe age of 30. then he spent his 170 remaining years protesting and leaking state secrets. i made 30x my money off that baby on the last day of my campaign this game is lovely. i just wish they had custom campaigns. steam workshop would've made this game ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nirvana

This is a $5 joke game that's somehow $20. The little character vignettes are amusing, but there's really nothing interesting to do in the game. There is very, very little skill involved here. It's not a Balatro-like or something where you can build up and break the odds, it's quite literally just a dumb gambling sim. You randomly guess "line go up" or "line go down." The closest thing to a real decision is hiring "consultants" who frequently give you simply wrong or uselessly vague stats. Sometimes they give you something actionable, but even the best consultants can sometimes brick (every baby between 45-55% positive events) which is as close as you get to making an informed decision. "Short that baby!!" gimmick is pointless because abusing best consultants and side-bets are infinitely more reliable. Not to mention shorting is incredibly dumb because if you get unlucky you can immediately lose the campaign and the upside is less profit than just winning a sidebet. If you must, buy for $5 and refund after an hour when you realize there's nothing beyond the 5 minutes of gameplay you experienced in the tutorial.

STOP BEING A SUCCESSFUL YOUNG ADULT, YOU STUPID BABY. I WAS SHORTING YOUR 20's!

TLWR; 7x the cost of buckshot roulette - < 1/5th the playtime/engagement. Buy if it's less than $5. Played for a few hours trapped in a hotel room before I got bored. There's a few gimmicks and patterns to be found on different planets but there aren't enough things on top of the core RNG mechanics to keep it interesting. I only ever really had fun with the "average price", "floor price", or "30 year value" consultants but that got boring very fast. For example: Buckshot Roulette has things that let you "push" the RNG or manipulate outcomes. CloverPit has metaprogression and charms that also manipulate odds/outcomes. This game would be much more interesting with some features like that (e.g. ways to manipulate the market, "baby espionage", maybe tie those to the different characters)

The game is cool conceptually. I just thought it was a little too repetitive and that I'd beat it too quickly, so I refunded it. But I don't think its bad and I would recommend it to people who like gambling games.

Jesus christ I am a rich rich trader. Investment trading with babies #CORPO. My god millions and millions flow in from my baby betting, this must be reproduced in the waking world! BABY TRADING FOR LYFE 2093 YEARS OF BABY TRADING I LIVE IN 2093 I HAVE OBTAINED THE BABY TRADER MINDSET #1 CORPO #1 TRADER YOU DON'T KNOW ME BABY TRADING FOR LIFE.

tried to short my baby and i lost 100k, greatest game i've ever played, 10/10

didnt expect this game to be as fun as it is, from genuinly getting excited over big turn overs and audibly mad at times after loosing everything after some baby has the most misserable life possible....