Would you be happy to let Santa himself “come [i](sic)[/i] inside?” If you answered yes, then this game might be right up your street.
[h1]The jolly intro-ho-ho[/h1]
Yule log into this game as Rudy Noel, freshly hired full-grown human assistant to St Nick himself, charged with mediating disputes between elves and preventing reindeer from forming a union – although “forming unions” could be considered to be the main aim of the protagonist throughout.
After all, you may truly find a [i]piece on earth[/i] that Santa really does [i]jingle all the way[/i] in, or you might prefer to [i]pa-rum pum pum pum[/i] with Mrs Claus' very own nutcracker. And let's not forget the opportunity to exchange your chipolata for a snow-person's carrot. Really, I'd have thought it would have been more seasonal to give the poor thing a parsnip..
[h1]The deep stuff[/h1]
Snow.
No? OK. The original premise to this story is soon forgotten as we focus on the protagonist's exploration of the North Pole (read into that as you see fit) and the characters that he finds on-site.
There are several options throughout, these being a simple 50/50 “naughty” or “nice”. I recommend playing through the story twice, and sticking with your choice consistently, in order to catch all of the scenes, some of which are exclusive to one choice or the other.
I'm not sure whether it was intentional, but the game successfully raises the point that all people, regardless of whether they have a same-gender partner, are polyamorous, or have severe self-image problems; deserve the same level of respect and equality as everybody else. If this was intended, then I am quite impressed at how well integrated into the narrative it is, as it is very clear and yet not rammed down your throat. Nicely done.
[h1]Positives and Negatives[/h1]
[u]Audio[/u]. We open with a very cheerful rendition of jingle bells, and both music and effects are good from start to finish.
[u]Humour[/u]. This is not outrageously funny, but it is light-hearted fun of an overtly sexual nature.
[u]Graphics[/u]. Backgrounds are decent, and some animation is fun. Sprites vary in quality. Santa's face is spot-on, Mrs Claus is suitably pretty, but the elves are incredibly ugly and rather crudely drawn.
[u]UI[/u]. The only on-screen options are “Screen” for full-screen or windowed, and “Skip” which appears to be a simple fast-forward, [i]not[/i] a skip-read-text facility. There is a text history log, but I have no idea how to get there. I switched open windows during a play, and when I went back to the game, the log was up. Beats me. Similarly, on first play, I pressed Escape to save, but on my second run through, this didn't work.
[u]Story[/u]. Cheesy as a cheddar production facility, but moderately amusing, and enough to keep you engaged sufficiently to see the end. And you [i]did[/i] want to get jiggly with Santa, right?
[h1]Verdict[/h1]
In the spirit of the game itself:
[i]”Santa's got ripped with big muscles and pecs, and has rather flexible morals on sex”[/i]
[i]”But if it is true that he comes once a year, then Mrs C's willing if you want to see her”[/i]
[i]”The self-loathing elf with nowhere to go, can you find him solace with a person of snow?”[/i]
[i]”Or will you hump everything that you can? I wish I could play this as other than a man.”[/i]
At full price, despite the decent overall presentation, this would be an expensive gift, but on sale it makes a respectable stocking filler. If you can catch it at a reduced price, regardless of the time of year, it's probably worth a punt. You can always hold off playing until the next festive season.
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