Drake of the 99 Dragons

Intruders in the [i]penthouse[/i] of the 99 Dragons Clan!? You must be out of this WORLD to get past [i]our[/i] guards!

The gameplay? Awful. The voice acting? Dreadful. The graphics? Terrible even by the standards of 2003. HOWEVER. This is peak. Incredible transmasc rep. Genuine 8/10 don't buy this.

I should have never have discovered this game. I've been utterly obsessed with it ever since I first saw it a week ago. I cant in good conscious recommend this game to anyone but I love Drake of the 99 Dragons and I hate it. I hate that I can see so much potential in the ideas presented and yet everything went so wrong, I hate loving this game because it is undeniable garbage, I hate how unbelievably hilarious the game is without even trying,I hate how interesting the comic style is, and I hate how this game charms me. I want more of this game, I want more of Drake being an absolute dumbass but I don't think it will ever get any form of media again and its a little sad. I want this little game to get expanded on or have some kind of chance like other old games have gotten. I want the good of this game to really be explored one day Honestly, I have no idea where I'm going with this. I just need to share my Drake thoughts.

The fact the only two notable videogames that emulate Genndy Tartakovsky's distinctive's artstyle is a delisted Samurai Jack game and this calamity to the extremely narrow "Max Payne Clones" subcategory is reason 67# of why we deserve a second Black Plague.

What if Max Payne was abysmal dog sht?

99 Dragons of Milk on the Wall 99 Dragons of Milk You take one down, you pass it around 98 Dragons of Milk on the Wall

Listen if you're buying this you already know what to expect. It's one of the more notorious bad games of the 2000s, and this PC port is at least marginally more playable than the Xbox original. If you're a badgamethusiast, Drake is probably worth your time, assuming you want to play a broken, barely functional Max Payne clone that probably shouldn't have shipped.

Drake of the 99 Dragons, developed by Idol FX and published by Majesco Entertainment, is one of those rare games whose reputation has transcended its release for all the wrong reasons. Originally launched in 2003, it was meant to be a stylish third-person action shooter inspired by Hong Kong gun-fu cinema and graphic novels, fusing supernatural powers, acrobatics, and dual-wielded chaos into a noir-inspired revenge tale. The concept was ambitious: a cel-shaded comic book aesthetic, wall-running mechanics, slow-motion gunfights, and a narrative about an immortal assassin seeking vengeance for the death of his master and the theft of an ancient artifact. Unfortunately, while the premise suggested something fresh and cinematic, the execution collapsed under the weight of its aspirations, resulting in one of the most notoriously broken games of its generation. The story follows Drake, a member of the secretive 99 Dragons Clan, who is resurrected from death by supernatural forces and bound to the Undying Dragon tattoo that grants him immortality. His mission is to recover the stolen Soul Portal Artifact and avenge his fallen brothers, but the narrative unravels into incoherence almost immediately. The dialogue is delivered through stilted, monotone voice acting that strips every scene of tension, and the pacing feels erratic, with new characters and plot elements appearing and disappearing without explanation. Cutscenes are presented in a comic-book panel style that might have worked had the art direction been consistent, but the transitions between gameplay and story are abrupt and jarring. The overall tone aims for dark mysticism and tragedy but lands closer to unintentional comedy, with Drake’s constant self-narration and awkward phrasing turning serious moments into moments of ridicule. Visually, Drake of the 99 Dragons leans heavily into a cel-shaded comic-book style that was cutting-edge for its time. The idea of blending comic art with a grim cyberpunk setting could have worked, but poor execution undermines its appeal. Environments are bland and repetitive, filled with harsh lighting and jagged edges that make everything look unfinished. Character animations are stiff and robotic, giving combat a floaty, unresponsive feel. While the design attempts to convey speed and supernatural grace, Drake often moves like a puppet out of sync with his own body. The camera is arguably the game’s worst offender, swinging erratically during combat and frequently obstructing the player’s view behind walls or geometry. This turns firefights into exercises in frustration rather than excitement, as enemies can easily ambush you while the camera decides to admire a corner or the back of Drake’s head. Mechanically, the game’s ambition far outstrips its technical capability. Drake can wall-run, backflip, slow time, and dual-wield guns, but none of these abilities function smoothly. Auto-aim is erratic, frequently locking onto the wrong targets or ignoring enemies altogether. Movement is slippery and unpredictable, making platforming sections a test of luck rather than skill. The developers clearly wanted to emulate the stylish gunplay of action films like The Matrix or Equilibrium, but the result feels more like wrestling against the controls than performing acrobatics. Combat encounters become chaotic messes of misfires, awkward strafing, and broken hit detection. Even the basic act of shooting feels unsatisfying, as weapons lack impact and enemies absorb damage without visual feedback. These flaws might have been forgivable had the core gameplay loop been fun, but the repetitive design—clearing the same kinds of enemies across nearly identical levels—makes the experience feel exhausting long before the halfway point. The game’s structure compounds these frustrations. Levels are short but poorly designed, often requiring tedious backtracking or forcing players to repeat long sections after dying due to the lack of checkpoints. The “Serene Garden” hub area that appears after every death might have been intended as a moment of reflection, but in practice it breaks the flow of the game and feels like a punishment. Enemies vary little in behavior or appearance, and boss fights lack creativity, devolving into drawn-out bullet sponges. The much-touted “ancestral powers,” such as the ability to summon a dragon spirit or manipulate souls, add little to the gameplay beyond visual novelty. Even the basic mechanics of collecting souls—a supposed central theme of the narrative—feel tacked on rather than integrated meaningfully into the combat system. Drake of the 99 Dragons’ audio design does little to redeem its shortcomings. Sound effects are sparse and inconsistent, with guns that sound like cap pistols and enemies who die in eerie silence. The voice acting is legendary in its awkwardness, delivering lines with no emotional range or context, as though the actors were reading directly from the script without understanding the story. The soundtrack, a mixture of generic industrial and electronic beats, fades into the background without leaving any impression. These elements contribute to a pervasive sense of emptiness, as though the world of Drake’s revenge quest is more lifeless than the undead hero himself. Despite its failings, Drake of the 99 Dragons is not without a certain strange allure. It is, in a sense, a perfect time capsule of early 2000s game development—an era when ambition often outpaced technology and smaller studios attempted to replicate cinematic experiences with limited resources. There is a sincerity to its ambition that makes it difficult to completely dismiss; one can almost see the outlines of what the developers wanted it to be: a moody, supernatural action shooter with style and attitude. In that light, it becomes less a disaster to be mocked and more a fascinating misstep to be studied. Its reputation as one of the worst games ever made might be exaggerated, but its flaws are numerous enough to justify the infamy. In the end, Drake of the 99 Dragons stands as an object lesson in the dangers of unchecked ambition and rushed execution. Every aspect of it—from its confused storytelling to its broken gameplay and chaotic presentation—feels like a missed opportunity. It was a game that wanted to be cinematic, cool, and innovative but lacked the technical foundation to achieve any of those goals. What remains is a piece of gaming history that fascinates for its failures rather than its successes. For most players, it is nearly unplayable; for historians of the medium or those curious about infamous titles, it is a relic worth examining at least once. Drake’s world of vengeance and mysticism may never have come to life as intended, but in its failure, it carved out an unforgettable niche as one of gaming’s most spectacular misfires. Rating: 5/10

this game has awesome transmasc rep

Absolute cinema, incredible transmasc rep