The Padre

[h1]Just a bit naff[/h1] The moment I first started [i]The Padre[/i], and heard the gravelly voice of the narrator, I thought I was in for something good. Maybe [i]good[/i] isn't the right word, but it certainly seemed like it would be amusing to play through. The voice actor playing the main character (named The Padre, whodathunkit) sounded like an eighteen year old amateur with a sore throat, trying to deepen their voice in order to sound grizzled. Instead, it made every line of dialogue laughable, as if our protagonist was delivering them while acutely constipated but powering through regardless. Unfortunately, when I actually began to play the game itself, there was nothing particularly exceptional to note. [b]G R A P H I C S[/b] [list] [*]The game adopts a voxel art style. As such, in tandem with the sub-par voice acting, it feels like some teenager's Minecraft mod rather than a horror game. [*]The lighting isn't bad, but the settings aren't exactly masterfully crafted. It didn't help that I had been playing [i]The Sexy Brutale[/i] just an hour before this, which only highlighted The Padre's shortcomings. Both are set in a rustic mansion, and both adopt an isometric-esque style. The thing is, The Sexy Brutale is far more polished in every regard. This comparison might seem unfair, seeing as The Padre clearly had a smaller team and development budget than The Sexy Brutale, but The Padre actually costs [i]more[/i] than The Sexy Brutale on Steam by about $0.50. If the developers of this game are willing to charge the price of a highly polished indie game, then it seems reasonable to hold it to the standard of a similar product. [*]It's sometimes difficult to determine what things even are on account of the blocky artstyle. I may have laughed out loud when The Padre nonchalantly declared that an amorphous mass I came across in a bedroom was "a zombie reading a book". [/list] [b]G A M E P L A Y[/b] [list] [*]I don't know what's up with the people who are nostalgic for [i]Resident Evil 1[/i]'s controls. RE1 controlled horribly, and we all know it. The Padre fortunately doesn't force the player to suffer through the pain of using 'tank controls', but it's definitely slow and a little clunky. [*]The puzzles are asinine and obtuse, and they aren't worth trudging from room to room to complete. [/list] It's not unfinished, it's not unpolished, it's just not very fun, and there are other indie projects out there that are more worth your time and money. 5/10