[b]Humour[/b]
Shank n' Bake has a problem with humor direction. Screaming just for the sake of screaming is not fun. You can play "Tormentor X Punisher" to find similar manner of swearing, laughs and whining 'after death', but in a funny way. In Tormentor after player loses match a goblin appears with like 20 jokes to tell. Every one of his jokes mokes you down and tries to show how strong he is (but he wasn't even fighting you to begin with). This is hilarious! In Shank your hero dies and starts yelling like kid who wants toy for no reason. I mean, dude, you have knife and kill everyone around, what else you expect? And why would he whine when dieing to pits or knifes? During story telling he literally WANTS to be eaten by humans. Trailer was nice, but that's it. I haven't found dieing rewarding here.
[b]Progression[/b]
There is none, can you imagine?! I mean, runners genre has persistant upgrades system to keep you busy. Take for example "Burito Bison" — when hero dies, there are some power ups you can unlock and improve, as well as max speed, dmg or skills, new heroes and new mechanics. In Shank there is absolutely nothing. Some visual clothes only, but they don't improve survival chances. You can't customise voice, attack animation, height etc. In other words, game will not hold you for long. There are lots of free to play runners with upgrades or other ways to deliver prolongued fun.
[b]Random generation[/b]
So, upon launching free old "Running Fred" you gonna find few huge bioms with unique traps, visuals, challanges and leaderboards, as well as difficulty tiers. And all in 3D, which open ups lots of different possibilities. In Shank you'll see all it has to offer in about 20 minutes. That is very sad. Player can only jump, duck and slice — all traps requiring just that. While there are few backgrounds, they deliver nothing special to gameplay. First boss also the same every time and has only one long death animation. He is boring.
[b]Music[/b]
Some of the music tracks are good in Shank, some are bad, but overall they don't mix up. You can't just put different music styles in a single game and call it a day. There were two browser titles with such magnificent music that you could launch them just to listen (Ninja Slash and Endless Evil). Same goes for Super Hexagon and a lot of android projects. As for Shank, it just isn't right. Simply stop right here go to youtube and search for games i mentioned, listen to music and your ears will send you endless stream of joy. For free.
[b]Final Score[/b]
Shank n' Bake has no content, no upgrades, no fun and actually nothing new. I was waiting for it's release like for 2 years, that is a lot of time to make your game shine. But what did i get? Mediocre grapchics, ear-bleeding screams, borrowed phrases (like "eat s**t") and overall sillyness. This is not Steam Quality, this is not even PC nor Browser quality. Maaaybe if it would get released in 2005, somewhere on armor games, then sure why not. But here and now? It looks like creators decided to scream into new mic to test it and figured "that could probably get sold as a game!".
