Procemon: You Must Catch Them

I think this is supposed to be a meme game? I don't want to be rude, but I sincerely could not tell. The majority of the stats expressly do nothing (as suggested by the in-game joke GameFAQ walkthrough), and there's nothing to do besides a set of three attacks per monster. Perhaps I had a bad seed, but for the duration of my time I only saw attacks which dealt either 2 or 3 damage, and since I couldn't acquire any monsters with the stronger attacks, I couldn't do anything. The generated monsters and attacks and such are silly and neat but aren't really much more than some basic language parsing stuff. (It's at least not an AI training scam or something, so that's a plus.) I have to assume that this was largely a small project that was kicked out with some simple mechanics, something that would be perfect as a free or cheap Itch game or some such, but I definitely can't recommend buying it here.

This game is completely incoherent. It's impossible to know what creatures are good, what your moves do, what status effects do, or any other useful information because it's 99.9% randomized. Enemy "trainers" spout randomized babble. This game is something only an AI could make sense of.

Note; Unfortunately due to the first of the cons I've listed, I had to stop playing for now and will attempt again at a later date. I did want to post this first impressions review, though. == Pros > As it says on the description, it is a very retro game. This includes graphics, music, and mechanics. > As described, it's a creature collector with RPG elements. Battle your creatures, level them up, battle more. > I love the "Seed" idea - find seeds, travel, explore random maps. == Cons > Despite having "High-res" (window size increased, graphics stretched to fit) enabled, the graphics unfortunately give me a headache after a very little amount of playtime. > Despite being "retro-style" it doesn't have the QoL expected from "newer" games. > The randomly generated descriptions, and flavor text are somewhat distracting and make no sense. It was difficult to tell story from flavor. This may be expected - I'm unsure. > No sort of in-game help or explanation of mechanics, etc. No objective descriptions, or any sort of direction. == Overall I'd give the game a neutral if possible - it's an interesting concept, but a little painful to play. I'll keep an eye on the game to see what the dev does with it, and may return at a later date. Good luck!

It's like MissingNo. itself made a video game! If you love the strange vibes of a glitched-out gameboy game, you should definitely give PROCEMON a try. The visual style is unnervingly charming in its procedurally-generated glory, full of stray pixels and patterns that almost make sense. It's fun to play, too- combat is quick yet full of delights, from the huge variety of visual effects to the status-changing MOOD system. You can also just scroll through the dex and enjoy the delicious, wikipedia-scented word salad within. The few human-made features are excellent as well and fit seamlessly into the game's glitchy style. Make sure to check out the walkthrough: it's a weird little gem that reads like an early-2000s gameFAQs guide.

I’m really enjoying this game! It’s all randomly generated and it’s a blast. All your creatures, their moves, and character dialogue you encounter is procedurally generated. The results are often hilarious. My Snakesnake learned the move “reptile mouth”. It doesn’t get better than that haha! Buy it!

Cheesemento learned Hot Milk! I combined a conifer type and a snake type and got Pinesnake! Conifer types are weak to cereal! We defeated Big Licorice!

i destroyed my linguistically confused foes with my fermented barbeque skills

awful game

You would probably have better luck with making yourself dizzy and reading a book than trying to understand the game. An interesting experience. I don't think it's worth 9,99 though. Not horrible but not great either. Would definitely continue to play but I don't know if I could recommend this.

I honestly am not 100% sure what I'm playing, how I'm playing, and why I'm playing. all i know is my Centaurbique and I are taking down the universe together... realistically though this is such a trip of a game that feels like such a strange adventure that it is hard for me to put down as i just want to figure out more of what this game will throw at me