Pizzarian

Concept is interesting. Retro is cool. Execution is poor. First and foremost - this is the first game I've ever played ... and I do mean ~ever~ played, where the tutorial not only insults the player (plenty of those), but actually gives up on the player (*ding!* First EVAR! Congrats! You've leveled ~down~!) . Really. Three minutes in, and not only does the weak, weak tutorial fail to satisfactorally explain the gameplay, but it's not even accessible after two failures to do EXACTLY what it tells you to... leaving you to try and figure out game controls on your own, or re-boot the game. Now, undoubtedly, there will be some whom find this "edgy" "neo-punk" attitude charming, but not, by whole, a wide audience. After that, the extreme lack of information continues. I can purchase upgrades to expand my capacity, for instance - but for the life of me, my current capacity is listed ~nowhere~. How about a status screen or two? Hmmm? One for my business and one for my current ship? Let me know where I f***ing stand, before insulting me time and again for not improving. This game is far, far from polished-and-finished. I'll wait for updates, but I'm not going to hold my breath.

Being the CEO of an up-and-coming intergalactic pizza joint is no easy business, especially when you're up against the likes of conglomerate pizza pioneers like Big Pizza. Pizzarian is the story of one small pizza business and its rise into the glamorous yet dangerous life of intergalactic delivery service. You'll be faced with managing your pizza stock and ship upgrades, with the perils of the planetary orbit and the traffic of space highways that flow with them, and with making every piping hot order of cheese-y goodness arrive to their destination in an orderly fashion. The high-speed deliveries you make are broken up into two separate arcade-inspired sections of dodge and shootem'up action, with management of your ships and upgrades inbetween deliveries. Using hard earned money on new ships is crucial to extending your future trips and making sure you hit each delivery target with utmost precisions, and ships themselves come with a variety of badass retro references ranging from ships likened to the Vic Viper from Gradius to weapons humorously taking after the Nintendo Zapper remembered so fondly. With such rapid forays into bite-sized arcade stages Pizzarian is the kind of game you can pick up for a few minutes at a time, but thanks to the progressive nature of growing your ship and business is also easy to zone out on for much longer. The claustrophobic and nerve-wracking traffic in Pizzarian is, as you'll soon find out, not much different from the real world. The rage inducing flow of slow moving trucks and various jerks cutting you off shows no end, and the only way to survive is to be a jerk back. Cutting off all four corners of another driver is, while a ♥♥♥♥ move, the surest way to prove your space superiority and earns you the highest boost to your "Cool" meter. The road rage runs high as you rush to swerve and cut off any unsuspecting opponents of the road while the warm buzzing of nostalgic chiptunes drives your high-octane car dodging. Once you've survived the quick and heinous traffic section you stop off at your first selected planet in a very Xevious-like top-down vertically scrolling shoot'emup section, where instead of shooting enemies with bullets you try to accurately fire steamy hot pizzas into the homes of your loyal and waiting cosmic customers. The deeper into the galaxy you go to visit these hungry planets the more planets you discover, appearing on your map for future runs to extend your trip and allow for even crazier pay to save up for those super sweet ship upgrades. The game super charming, and too addictive for how simple it is. The fact that the pizzas you deliver cost you your hard earned money that you could be using on upgrades makes every shot at every customer that much more crucial, and the stunts you pull off for increasing your "Cool" meter and in turn gaining more cash for upgrades so much more rewarding. tldr; With a great retro style featuring multiple color schemes, some seriously groovy 8-bit music (I've had the map system music stuck in my head for a week), and a great sense of humor Pizzarian is a game with tons of variety packed into one nostalgic arcade trip. And even if you aren't a super retro enthusiast, it offers some of the quickest blasts of condensed fun for a ridiculously modest price making it the absolute perfect coffee break (or pizza break!) game.

The game can be frustrating to say the least. It actually is comprised of some RPG elements in that you save up money to get upgrades which in turn get you more money. There is some levelling with XP that allow you to choose from 3 upgrade categories. There is also a pool of "coolness" points that, in the short time I've played, haven't made much sense to me. You apparantly are supposed to scrape other vehicles without causing damage, and doing so is supposed to increase your coolness level. However, after having scraped hundreds of vehicles it didn't seem like my coolness points were going up. At some point, and seemingly at random, some text popped up next to a vehicle I had just scraped, exclaiming "Cool!" and I saw my points go up. Unfortunately I have no idea what was different about that situation vs. all the other times I scraped a vehicle. Obviously there is a bit of a learning curve with this game. The game itself is actually comprised of two mini-games. The first is to get the pizzas to their destination moon without wrecking your ship by swerving through lanes of traffic. If you wreck, you lose the pizzas and the money you spent making them. I actually found this part of the game to be rather tedious. I understood that I needed to survive the traffic, but the whole coolness system and what one is supposed to do in traffic still doesn't make a lot of sense to me. Unfortunately the tutorial didn't spend a lot of time on this aspect. The second part is delivering the pizzas to their destinations. This took me a few rounds to get right as the tutorial didn't actually explain that the way you deliver the pizza is to "shoot" it at the house. Originally I had been trying to drop off the pizza by hitting the button just as I was over top of the house; sufficed to say I couldn't figure out why my delivery numbers were so low. Overall, it's a well made game, albeit confusing when first starting out. The tutorial can really use some polishing; in particular, it should give a better explanation of the coolness system and more precise instructions on how to raise your coolness points in traffic. One last note: the music. I can definitely see the background music being devisive amoung players, as there only seems to be one (or did I hear a second) song the whole game, and though it is somewhat catchy and reminiscent of bygone games of old, many will definitely feel the need to turn it down or completely off. All said, I give it a 7/10.

There is no game, whatever was programmed doesn't work on my machine and judging by the forums the developer has up and given up on supporting this game anyway. Negative review until I can actually play this or see the developer making some effort to fix these errors. In the meantime, let's explore how this title came to be. Once upon the time there was a fruggo named "Froggy G." who loved pizza more than anything. More than he loved pushing bot lane. More than he loved vulturing kills off of Vinnies who are trying SO DAMN HARD despite the nerfs. He loved it so much he wanted to make a historical video game about the earliest known records of pizza delivery 1577 years before his time. He learned to code, which was a challenge as he reflexively attempted to swallow his monitor whole each time it displayed the italian flavor discs he so worshipped, but the froge persisted. Days into nights into weeks into months into years. His life committed to his endeavors so thoroughly it began to find ways to find a way to negatively impact the health of a football-shaped alien frog. His employers desperately nerfing the competition to even the fields of the atrophied froge, his heart no longer in the intergalactic battles as every splash dash free autoparry was nearly interrupted by his musings on how to properly integrate a currency system, teleporting back to base at inappropriate times so he could take down a note on more upgrades for the leveling system. The entire war was forced to shift awkwardly into a tangled mess, a shadow of itself, just as the frog it tried to accommodate did, but bit by bit, through perseverance, persistence and pizza the frogola learned and pushed forward. But of course, there was trouble, the higher ups dissatisfied with having to constantly tolerate and bend over backwards to cope with the side effects of Froggy's project attempted to stop him. They should have known better to attempt to come between a hurtful racial stereotype space frog and his love of pizza. When the legion of Zurian interns came to confiscate his dear laptop with no cloud storage the G knew his time as a game developer was up, but if he thought fast, the time for pizza was only beginning. With a resounding "Yoman" he took hold of the portable computer in his clammy, awkward, clumsy hands, clinging it to his chest as he realized what he had to do. He splash dashed, like he never had before. Every shred of effort he'd denied his employers was paid back all at once with interest, the helpless, clueless interns bowled over and decimated by what could only be described as the unholy offspring of a cannonball and a tsunami. So intense and speedy were the frug's sweet moves that in his wake he found he'd not only torn apart his pizza-hating employer's goons but torn a new one in the time-space continuum. Closing his eyes he gave a silent prayer to the gods of all that was cheesy to give safe passage to his labor of love, flinging his laptop into the vortex of uncertainty just as it had begun to close. They say now, if you play the game's intro theme backwards you can still hear the voice of that Frog with dreams (for pizza) almost as big as his stomach (for pizza) as he mournfully says "I see ya, but I really wanna pizza."

2010年未来の世界 君に与えられた使命は木星系で最高にクールな宅配ピザ屋になること！ 木星の衛星の間をピザを詰め込んだシップで駆け回れ！ 貯めた資金で店を改造したり新しい宅配シップを買ったり改造したり シップの間をすり抜け警察をブッチして熱々ピザをおみをま・・・お届けだ！ GameBoyを彷彿とさせるモノトーングラフィックに８BitSound 大量に発売されすぎててお互いがお互いを埋もれさせあった星屑ゲーム達臭が半端ない！ まだ時が来ていないのかひたすら平坦な宅配業務が続く。 ボスっぽい巨大船とのバトルまだ！？ 他のシップを妨害して沈めてもかすってもキュキュッっていうだけでCoolのCの文字すらでない！ どうなっているのだね！！ばんばんばんっ！ サウンド面はステレオで３音＋ノイズの構成でGB風を目指しているんだと思うけど、ちょっとお下品なブリブリベースになりきってないのがおしいかなぁ。ステレオ化したFCミュージックといった印象。 横スクロールの交通面から縦スクロールの宅配ステージに移行するときに曲の切り替えなく淡々と曲が流れてるだけ・・・リザルトも淡々と・・・ちょっとくらい盛り上げても・・・・ 客のお宅にピザをシュゥゥゥゥッ！！してもピョロロっていうだけだしなんかさびしい・・・ 今後のアップデートに期待・・・したい！

Funny, unique game with many bosses. You get to deliever pizzas and battle ships - its the best of both worlds. The only negative I have to say is that the game itself is very short and can be completed in little time. Other than that, pretty simple, fun game! http://youtu.be/UO3dVc3U8YE

Play this; this game has good everthing, good controls, good mechanics, good pizza, good sprites, good atmosphere, all of it!

The year is 2010 A.D.—The Future—and your mission is to be the coolest pizza delivery business in the Jovian system. Cut through traffic, avoid the police, and deliver pizzas to the moons of Jupiter! Save up your money to buy better ships and upgrade your pizzeria. Just look out for the competition...!

This game is very unique it has a gameboy art style to it the chiptune music sounds great the gameplay while a little bit confusing at first overtime you get the gameplay / controlls down with no issues this game you play the role of an pizza delivery boy its in space one of the coolest ideas for a video game that i have seen in a long while. i give this game an 85 out of 100 it is worth the price tag of 3.99 USD CHECK IT OUT.

Here's my first impressions on video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hQFSZ8MS9LA I love all things pizza, how could I not love this game? This is a true blast from the past but with a modern spin. The humour is cheesy but entertaining. I especially love the colour filters that you can choose, even has a red filter for you VirtualBoy fans out there that like to burn your eyes out. Personally I used a mix of Original (Green like GameBoy) and the grey one. But there are multiple other options. Take your pick! The gameplay itself took a short while to get used to. The tutorial was especially annoying as it had a prompt to skip dialogue but it actually autoskipped so sometimes you'd skip the NEXT dialogue if you were too slow(?) to press the prompt. But otherwise it's incredibly fun, especially the SHMUP elements it has. Fighting against the competition was doubly fun once I got FREAKING LAZERS! and also FIRING WEAPONISED PIZZAS!... So cool and fun :D I managed to complete the game after a few hours which is absolutely fantastic and fair for the price and obviously it's inspiration from handheld games. For the price, you'd certainly get more than your value for money. Plenty of replayability too. What's great is that if you have a controller you can take this out with you on a Windows Tablet. I personally use my Lynx Vision gaming tablet to play this and it's perfectly fine... AND FUN!