Jesus Simulator

This Game is terrible, I saw someone say this game had a charm to it, this has the charm of a donkey's @$$. The main narrator has a southern accent, he sounds more like he's from Texas and slow cooks BBQ. The voice of Jesus must have changed at least 7 times throughout the gameplay. The mini-games are really bad, despite the poor MIcrosoft paint UI and the poor sound effects, the games are more tedious than they are entertaining, some of them just not functioning as they should and having bad cooldown on tasks making you spend a lot of your time just waiting. Majority of the game is poor AI dialogue as others have said, but what's worse is the way they talk is modern and inaccurate. Specific NPC say the exact same thing as others, the world seems relatively large but only a fraction of the zone is used in gameplay. Most of the events in the game are VERY Linear, if you think this game is going to be an "Open world" experience, you will be disappointed as everything is done in a point A to point B fashion, then it just puts you automatically into the next event without having to explore anything or do anything out of free will. The only thing i enjoyed in this game was laughing at the bad AI voices and silly body motions of the NPCs, The story is told very poorly, missing key notes in the biblical story which are deemed the most iconic events that occur. This feels more like a religious kid from his church doing a small project for fun than it is someone who wanted to create a fun and entertaining game for people to be immersed in the story and gameplay. This is a money grab and there is simply no other way to put it. Save your money and your time, maybe go watch one of the many Jesus films that exists, you will have a better luck scratching that bible itch with those.

I thought i would be playing as Jesus performing miracles and whatnot, but no. Its a poor attempt at a Bible education game. Tons of AI, world feels empty, hardly any direction. The first thing you have to do is find a "lake" to get water, but it doesn't give you any directions to the lake. It took me over 10 minutes of wandering to find it. Awful game.

If I believed in Hell, then I would believe that it was made for the soul purpose of housing this horrible game, and the cash-grabbing devs who relied on AI for the entire game. You know, that thing that's destroying our world, using water while there are so many who are in need? The worst part... the game broke while on a praying mini-game. Maybe it was just proof that when relying on prayer alone nothing will work. The worst worst part, now I'll never know what happened to J.C. in the end! It's like the Titanic movie all over again! Thoughts and prayers

Literally the worst game I have ever played. Riddled with gen AI trash. The minigames are terrible. If I could go back in time and punch myself in the balls to stop myself from playing this, I would.

This is one of the worse game I ever downloaded and launch on my PC. I might have to burn my entire setup just to cure it from the multiple std it gave my computer. Boring, badly done, poor design, AI voice and basically way too much text that no one cares about. If just a christian propaganda tool that should not be on steam. I received a free key from Keymailer and I wish I could get a refund for the minute I lost testing this crap.

I’m giving this a thumbs up mostly because I want to see more devs taking on Christian-themed games. I get that making a game isn’t easy, especially with a tight budget, so I’m totally fine with the simple graphics and basic character models. That said, the game definitely needs a lot of polish. There are some super weird bugs—like Jesus literally walking away in the middle of the Sermon on the Mount while his voice keeps playing. It’s pretty immersion-breaking, to say the least. The biggest dealbreaker for me, though, is a game-breaking bug in one of the mini-games that makes it impossible to progress. It’s really frustrating to get stuck like that, and it’s a total buzzkill for anyone actually trying to enjoy the story. I really hope the devs fix these issues soon because the idea behind the game is great, it just needs to actually work!

Une daube abyssale. N'achetez pas ce jeu horrible fait à 100% avec IA. Un enfer.

I went into *Jesus Simulator* expecting something weird but I didn’t expect to actually learn more than I ever did in school Surprisingly, the game does a really good job of blending storytelling, humour, and meaningful moments. It’s not just a meme game there are actually thoughtful lessons, interesting dialogue, and moments that make you stop and think. Whether you’re religious or not, the game presents its themes in a way that’s engaging and entertaining. I genuinely enjoyed my time playing it, and even my chat was hooked the entire time. We laughed, questioned things, and even had some surprisingly deep conversations while playing. That’s something I didn’t expect going in. Unfortunately, after uploading the video to YouTube, I ended up getting four copyright claims due to background audio/music used in the game. Thankfully, these are claims and not strikes, so the video is still visible but now these is like 10 silence moments but it's something creators should be aware of when playing. Despite that, Jesus Simulator turned out to be a really unique and memorable experience. It’s weird, funny, educational, and unexpectedly meaningful. Pros: * Surprisingly educational * Unique and memorable concept * Great for streaming/chat interaction * Funny but also meaningful moments Cons: * Background music may trigger copyright claims for creators Final Thoughts: I went in expecting chaos… and came out actually learning something. That alone makes *Jesus Simulator* worth playing. VOD - https://youtu.be/wpGNAQRD33E Rating: 6.5 / 10 - Weird, educational, and surprisingly enjoyable.

Para echarse unas risas está genial, pero nada más. Primero que el uso de la IA en ilustraciones, las voces... hace que todo se sienta tan robótico... Los NPCs se reciclan a más no poder y ni si quiera piensan en diferentes nombres para ellos. Los minijuegos para tratar de alargar la experiencia... Mira, el de rezar me tuvo cada minijuego de esos más de 5 minutos haciéndolo. Es bastante infumable. Hacen muchos saltos de la nada y pensé que iba a ser un poco más largo puesto que a pesar de no ser creyente me faltan cosas. Divertido si te lo tomas a risa, pero paciencia con los minijuegos

A minha experiência com Jesus Simulator foi, sem exagero, uma das piores que já tive num videojogo. É difícil perceber como algo com este nível de qualidade chegou a ser lançado. Para começar, os gráficos são simplesmente horríveis. Muitas das imagens parecem claramente geradas por IA — e mal geradas. Há personagens com deformações absurdas: numa imagem aparece um personagem com uma arma de fogo (o que já não faz sentido nenhum no contexto), noutro caso alguém tem cara de cão, e vários modelos têm o rosto completamente derretido. É desconfortável e amador ao extremo. A dobragem é outro desastre. Soa totalmente artificial, claramente feita por IA, e pior: frequentemente corta a música do jogo de forma abrupta, destruindo qualquer tentativa de imersão. Falando da música, também não ajuda — é genérica, alta demais e dá a sensação de também ter sido gerada automaticamente sem qualquer cuidado. Em termos de conteúdo, o jogo falha no básico. Faltam descrições dos capítulos e versículos da Bíblia, o que seria essencial num jogo com esta temática. Os objetivos são confusos: às vezes há waypoints, outras vezes não, deixando o jogador perdido sem saber o que fazer. A história também é cheia de falhas, especialmente na parte da crucificação, que não é minimamente fiel ao que é descrito na Bíblia. Para um jogo que supostamente tem um propósito educativo, isto é particularmente grave. O gameplay é extremamente simples e mal estruturado. Não existem paredes no mapa, o que permite literalmente fugir da área do jogo e causar softlocks. Os quick time events são irritantes, têm cooldown entre inputs e, numa secção em que tens de clicar nas setas corretas, podes simplesmente carregar em qualquer botão que nada acontece — ou seja, completamente inútil. Outro ponto estranho é o design das personagens femininas, que apresentam corpos exageradamente desenvolvidos, completamente deslocados num jogo que supostamente aborda temas religiosos e históricos. Para piorar, o jogo apaga o save no fim, não tem créditos e até o design do anjo não corresponde minimamente às descrições bíblicas. Resumindo: Jesus Simulator é um projeto mal executado em praticamente todos os aspetos — técnico, artístico, narrativo e até conceptual. Esta review foi escrita pelo ChatGPT, porque o jogo não merece que eu gaste o meu tempo a pensar em como descrever o quão mau ele é.