Touhou fangames on Steam are typically (and perhaps by nature) bland and safe, unwilling to take major risks or be creative for the sake of making profit. They offer and introduce little, only to regurgitate established ideas rather than create something new to stand out. Often, they're reskins of already existing games with no story, just sprinkled with Touhou characters. In this regard, you can consider this game an abomination and a freak of nature for having the nerve to completely break this mold and shatter my expectations.
Compared to a lot of Touhou fangames that blend together after a while, this one actually takes risks with tone, structure, music, art, and gameplay. If you’re the kind of person who wants every fangame to behave like a polished super-serious AAA reskin, this probably won’t be for you. If you’re open to something unpredictable and fun, it’s easily one of, if not the best Touhou-related game available in English.
[h2][b]Writing[/b][/h2]
The writing of this game is an interesting circumstance in of itself. It reminds me of Doki Doki Literature Club, wherein it's an extremely deceptive of its form and it refuses to show you its true nature until it's already hooked you in. Before playing this game I heard it featured Reddit zoomer humor and was prepared to write a negative review. However, I can easily see that those I've heard it from only played the game for 10 minutes before reaching that conclusion and never finishing the game. Aside from lacking a basic attention span, I don't blame them for reaching that conclusion about the game as a whole based on the small percentage they've seen. The first 10-20 minutes are very unserious and even aimless, but the developers cleverly use this to lower your guard before silently and seamlessly showing you the big guns (literally, too) when you meet Kakkoi, who I'll get to later. From that point forward, the writing becomes extremely captivating and immersive, ingeniously recontextualizing those first 15 minutes. It does this without sacrificing the humor which remains silly and creative. This humor gets much better as the game delves into live action cutscenes where the developers themselves act. Nevermind a Touhou game, this is something unheard of in modern video games and they execute it so well even considering the context of the game. The finale of the game is one of the best in Touhou fan media and it astounds me that it hasn't been done before.
The main character is very interesting and is done perfectly within the context and story, and actually makes this game kind of a coming-of-age story. At the start of the game, the protagonist begins as a sarcastic observer and a facetious, insufferable person who trivializes everything around them (the quintessential zoomer). Watching that attitude slowly crack under pressure becomes one of the game’s strongest hooks. It turns into a quiet character arc about growing out of irony when reality pushes back and standing for things that benefit more than just yourself. That kind of progression is never seen in Touhou fan media, which usually treats characters as static archetypes.
Kakkoi is an original character, the main antagonist of the game and sort of the face of the game, which is very fitting because she strongly resembles the game she inhabits. She fills in a hole that the Touhou roster lacks in yet she fits in so well and her character design is amazing. She is one of the best additions to the game and every scene she's in is amazingly funny and she is a great foil to the main character, but as you play through the game you learn more and more about her and this snarky steroptyical mob boss mask is chipped at without being insultingly obvious. She is in a similar circumstance to the main character wherein she is trapped in this fantasy land and slowly losing their sanity, but because of her own hubris refuses to open up to or come to terms with the protagonist and is adamant to play into this role of being the villain, which near the climax of the game this circumstance is touched upon so gracefully while still preserving and enhancing the character of Kakkoi, where you can still greatly enjoy her character as a charming and comedic villain.
This game also holds my favorite interpretation of a certain secret character, which my god, it is a crime that the developers hid that part so hidden because it is one of the best parts of the game, rivaling the ending even.
[h2][b]Gameplay[/b][/h2]
When the gameplay was first introduced to me in the tutorial, I was quite skepitcal. It's air hockey with bullet hell. But it is handled and delivered in the best way possible, with each fight adding more and more creative and unique takes but then switch on to the next, never overstaying their welcome. The addition of the WarioWare-esque minigames with each fight is such a brilliant concept and almost reminds me of the abandoned fangame NitorInc. except this game is actually completed with responsible developers (Crazy right?). The game even introduces mechanics exclusive to certain boss fights, namely in Kakkoi's real fight which really make them stand out amongst other great fights. It's a combat system that you'll love and remember, which ends up making it quite iconic to the game.
Kakkoi’s Laundromat is not just more of the same, which I appreciate. It takes the game’s already strange identity and turns it into a progression-based side-mode about earning money, upgrading Okuu, and pressuring businesses into your totally legitimate IRS-friendly laundry empire. It's such a specific idea that it almost sounds fake, but that is why it fits. The base game already made air hockey bullet hell feel natural, so of course the update makes money laundering through laundry feel like the next logical step.
The heist structure also gives Utsuho a great role. She is not just a funny strong minion; she becomes the muscle of the whole operation. Coaching her through jobs, building resources, and watching the laundering operation grow alongside Kakkoi and Utsuho's relationship gives the game a new loop without betraying the spirit of the original. It is still absurd. It is still chaotic. It is still Gensokyo Odyssey.
[h2][b]Music[/b][/h2]
The music is amazing, even for a Touhou game. It reimagines it to the point where some melodies sound more natural and belonging in these arrangements than in the original tracks themselves. This is nothing to speak of the many ORIGINAL tracks, which are phenomenal. My favorite song in the game is Boundless, but I can absolutely sympathize with those who adore a certain hatter's boss theme. The OST is also on Spotify. SPOTIFY! Just to rub it in that this is way beyond other Touhou fangames.
[h2][b]Art[/b][/h2]
Multiple artists contribute to the visuals, and while mixing styles sounds risky, it ends up reinforcing the game’s experimental tone. Character portraits range from playful to dramatic, and some scenes lean into exaggerated expressions that match the humor-heavy dialogue. It feels less like a single unified art direction and more like a collaborative showcase of artists both big and small, which fits the spirit of what a fangame should be.
[h2][b]Complaints[/b][/h2]
The Unity splash screen feels unnecessary at this point and breaks immersion right at the start.
A proper save or chapter select system would help a lot, especially given how dense some sections are.
Some mechanics disappear just when they start getting interesting, and a future update or extra content focusing on expanded battles would be welcome.
G2AM's boss fight is a major difficulty spike, especially considering the Utsuho boss afterwards is easier.
An autoclicker is overdue for Kakkoi's Laundromat, I think many would prefer if they didn't have to spam click for lots of cash.
Overall,
0/10 no kakkoi dating simulator
