I'm trying to improve my writing skills, and my English of course, in order to write shorter reviews. It's good for all my pains too starting from the many surgical operations I had at my right arm..
Ok, well, this game reminded me a lot of a very old game, I'm sure it was for PC, like, in the late '90s, when you were something like a small thing and you had to make your way through the enormous objects that make up the rooms of a standard house.
Well, it was like one of the first 3D platformers, sort of. Nothing remarkable, anyways.
This game takes the same graphical approach. Based on Unity, you'll have to choose the resolution in which you'll want to play and the graphics quality, although it doesn't matters that much since the game is very basic for what concerns graphics.
And there's only one map.. which is basically a room in a house.
But starting from the main menu: well, there's nothing. No tutorial, no how to play, no backstory, not even credits: play or "back to your life", which would have wanted to be a smart thing to write instead of quit? Anyways, that's what you can do. Play the only level or quit.
The game's a third-person shooter; with a top view, you'll be a small Lego character (or sort of a cubic thing) with a rifle and you'll be able to shoot continuously by holding down the CTRL button, although you'll need the mouse to change your direction and the WASD keys to move.
There are no reviews, no guides and no hints (the game store page says just "shoot around with the mouse" or something like this) so I figured out just these controls. The directional keys, or WASD, to move, and mouse or Control to shoot.
There won't be other weapons, you'll stick with that rifle and infinite ammo for all of your time spent in this stupid house. Oh, by the way, the Esc button actually is no pause button - there is no pause. By pressing Esc you'll simply get a faded screen that asks you to go back to the main menu, while you're still in play and being attacked; plus, the only sound that there'll be in the whole game is the sound of your rifle - i.e. the most common and annoying sound effect in the video game history.
The enemies, as the title says, are pixelated and badly-designed desserts: cakes, slices of cakes, boxes and other things that are so crappy that I couldn't identify. Anyways, they will do all the same thing: chase you and get into you, basically. If they hit you - only melee - they'll subtract one of your 3 health points shown in the bottom left of the screen.
Lost them all (there's no way to recover them, to pause, to change weapon and such), and you'll get the chance to restart from 0 kills (which is the main and only counter in the top of the screen) or to exit the game.
Well, everything's here. Nothing else.
While this -could- have been a funny casual game, it -should- have been given out for free. If you pay for this thing, you'll be paying for something that you can find for free by searching for a minimalistic and casual shooter on Google.
As I said, this game isn't even that bad but it's just that there's no point in anything. You just kill the same enemies over and over, move around (or better, under) the house with its furnitures and keep on shooting. No soundtrack, progression, levels or such.. it's just a single infinite level in which your only objective is to kill as many cakes and desserts you can. And since you can't even jump, the whole game takes place on the floor and being that minimal for what concerns graphics, it doesn't really matter your position. You'll likely be running around avoiding enemies and shooting for the whole time.
It isn't really worth 1€ or even much less, just.. if you can get it for free, like as a gift or as a spare key, it can be funny for five minutes, but reviewing this as a game on its own, without levels, different weapons and enemies, soundtrack and so on.. well, it's definitely not a game I'd recommend to anyone, even if he/she's a casual player.
And for what concerns achievements, related only to the kills amount, there's a guide here by Elate that tells you the spots in which the game's glitches are and so you can shoot without being hit, basically by getting outside the map.
But I definitely didn't need glitches and bugs in order not to recommend this Unity thing..
