Coffin Dodgers

[h1][i]«Счастье — это когда пенсии хватает спокойно дожидаться будущей жизни»[/i][/h1] Я, Тедди, ветеран войны и участник великой гонки среди гробов, только что принял участие в самой безумной и захватывающей игре, которую когда-либо видел мир — Coffin Dodgers. Здесь старики не просто ведут размеренную жизнь, они сражаются за свою вторую молодость, мча по улицам, словно в безумной комедии, где соревнователями становятся подземные самого века. Гонки с гробами — это не просто метафора, это суровая реальность, где каждый дедушка, затянувшийся на свою могилу, готов отобрать медаль у соперника с помощью трюков и ловкости. В данный момент, вместо привычного спокойного проживания перед пенсией, я, сидя в своем неукротимом гробу с мощным двигателем, мчусь по искривленным улочкам города, где на каждом шагу поджидают ловушки, сюрпризы и шутливые препятствия. Каждый заезд — это настоящий выбор между жизнью и смертью, где еда в виде банок с супом становится твоим мощным бонусом, а милиционеры, дикие собаки и устрашающие гробовщики всего лишь дополнительные препятствия. Атмосфера безумия и юмора создает непередаваемое ощущение: кидаешь в соперников кости-чудеса, взлетаешь с трамплинов, пытаясь перепрыгнуть через старинные автомобили и катафалки. Я смеюсь и кричу, пытаясь обойти соперников, которые не стареют, а наоборот, становятся все более озлобленными и хитрыми, словно летучие мыши, завидующие молодости. Графика игры — это современная интерпретация яркой карикатуры: яркие цвета, комичные персонажи и абсолютно неадекватные способности, и все это на фоне возрастных стереотипов. Я чувствовал себя как в эпизоде известного мульта, где безумие и желание победы превращают обычные гонки в истинный хаос. К каждому новому заезду я подходил с особым трепетом, ведь именно в этих непредсказуемых гонках кроется вся суть моих приключений — я не просто должен был прийти первым, я стремился сплотить стариков и вместе с ними выбраться из темных объятий потустороннего мира. Командная работа, тактика и немного везения стали ключевыми факторами успеха: я создавал альянсы, отрабатывал уборку с трассы, подсовывал другим соперникам проклятые ведра и собирал комбо-удары, которые уверены в своих силах! Несмотря на всю динамику, каждый заезд становился настоящим праздником для души. От души смеюсь над тем, как мы, старики на мотоциклах, уклоняемся от мира, который считается обыденным. Жизнь после 60, оказывается, может быть захватывающей! Coffin Dodgers — это не просто игра; это искусство сохранять страсть к жизни, даже когда ты находишься на краю могилы. Каждый заезд для меня становится не просто гонкой, а возможностью вспомнить, что старость — не повод сдаваться. И, как говорил мой дедушка: «Лучше мчаться к смерти на гробу, чем сидеть дома и жаловаться на жизнь». И вот, завершая свою гонку, я понял: это не просто музыка или юмор, а настоящая симфония, основанная на самой важной нашей ценности — жизни. 8 вставных челюстей из 10

[h1] Suck balls on every corner. Parody racers, obviously where you drive your trusty 4 wheel scooter while smacking opponents using cane. If you can't see without glasses that's good because you get points for smashing things. Before playing consult with a doctor and best to just leave this game for your grandpa. [/h1]

Coffin Dodgers has a funny concept, easy to understand controls and has a few fun ideas. If you read the Steam reviews you will see that the comparison is often made with Mario Kart and that is also one of the first things you think of when you play a game of this genre. You race, there are blocks hanging above the road that give you a power-up to thwart your opponents and everything looks cheerfully colored with the appropriate music and sounds everywhere. Works great on steam deck: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ipY7RTeytDU By driving the races you will be able to progress in the game, provided you achieve a good position during the races. The last two will be eliminated per series of three races or claimed by the Grim Reaper. A good performance is therefore important and you can achieve that by racing on your mobility scooter and ramming other elderly people off the road. You get various options for this, which means that Coffin Dodgers with its somewhat strange but funny approach can be a fun party game on paper.

A very simple and fun karting game. It has not much complexity or many perzonalizable elements, but it deserves more than an aproval. The context is very comical, some elderly who tune their carts to escape from death, reminding the classic Road Rash when they hit you on mele. Even though there are much more complete and extensive karting games, this one is very good to play to beat the story mode and have an amusement time with friends. A game for all audiences, despite the reaper, and it would make any carmageddon driver cry seeing so many "bonuses" on wheels. The ones I rate as [u]the best karting games[/u] are: - [b] Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed Collection[/b] - [b] Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix[/b] (in any case the 3) and something less complex but very playable: -[b] Beach Buggy Racing 2 [/b] [u]Others:[/u] - KartRider: Drift; it's very cute, it's [b]online[/b] game, and it's FREE ;) - Calvin Tucker's Farm Animal Racing; just for its addictive country music it's worth a try. - Touring Karts; not my style but being from Barcelona I had to mention it :P (extra point for being possible change the camera to first or third person). - All-Star Fruit Racing; I didn't like it much, but it's an option. - Garfield Kart - Furious Racing; people usually likes it, but it didn't appeal to me. - Super Indie Karts; very retro style where, among other things, you can play Toejam and Earl as a drivers. [ESP] Un juego de karts muy sencillo y divertido. Apenas tiene complejidad ni demasiados elementos perzonalizables pero supera, sin duda, el aprobado. El contexto resulta muy cómico, unos yayos que se tunean sus carritos para huir de la muerte, y recordando a ratos al clásico Road rash cuando al acercarte te golpean a quemarropa. Pese a haber juegos de karts mucho más completos y extensos, este está muy bien para jugar a pasarte la historia y echarte unas risas con los amigos. Un juego para todos los públicos, pese a la parca, y que haría llorar a cualquier conductor de carmageddon viendo a tanta “bonificación” sobre ruedas. Los que valoro como [u] mejores juegos de karts[/u] son: [b] - Sonic & All-Stars Racing Transformed Collection - Nickelodeon Kart Racers 2: Grand Prix [/b](en ningún caso el 3) y algo menos complejo pero muy jugable: [b] - Beach Buggy Racing 2 [/b] [u] Otros:[/u] - KartRider: Drift; es muy cuqui, se juega [b] online[/b], y es GRATIS ;) - Calvin Tucker's Farm Animal Racing; solo por su música campestre adictiva vale la pena. probarlo. - Touring Karts; no es mi estilo pero siendo de barceloneses había que mencionarlo :P (punto extra por permitir cambiar la cámara en primera o tercera persona). - All-Star Fruit Racing; no me acabó de gustar pero es una opción. - Garfield Kart - Furious Racing; gusta bastante pero a mi no me atrapó. - Super Indie Karts; estilo muy retro donde entre otros, puedes llevar a Toejam and Earl como pilotos.

I am 32 years old. My ex-wife and I have a daughter together, and we adopted our son together. Both are now 4 years old. When we were going through our separation, I felt lost and unhappy. I was self-destructive. One day, I was so angry with everything spiraling out of control that I punched a concrete wall in a moment of overwhelming emotion. This resulted in breaking my fifth metacarpal in my right hand—the hand I worked with, played games with, and used to carry my children to bed—the hand I desperately needed to ensure I could continue providing. Upon learning the severity of the self-inflicted damage, I became almost suicidal. Keep in mind that just a few months before this, I was the happiest man, with no history of depression or anxiety. I had never experienced anger outbursts, nor was I the type to break down and cry, but I was in a tough situation that truly prevented me from seeing the light on the other side. With nothing better to do, I looked for a game I could play WITH ONE HAND while recovering. Somehow, I stumbled upon this game and read some of the comments. I decided it was worth a try... I must admit I didn't beat the game, nor did I play as much as some of you. In fact, I may have played this game for only a day or two. That being said, after doing so, I had a new joy and hope for life. I managed to leave behind the pain and suffering that had been thrust upon me. I could experience the joy and happineass of other people. I relaxed for 5 ♥♥♥♥ minutes listening to this music, long enough to realize that I would be okay. After realizing this, I turned off the game and went back to work. My hand hurt a lot, but I was motivated. I stopped feeling so sorry for myself and became the father I needed to be at that moment, not the weak boy I was behaving like. Today, I am close friends with the mother of my children. We don't fight, argue, or say hurtful things to each other. We are parents and friends. Now I have 3 children. My third child is, wait, ALSO 4 YEARS OLD. The woman I am with was going through a very similar situation at the time of my separation, and we just unexpectedly stumbled into each other's lives. We have been dating for a year and are very happy together. Moral of the story: you never know what life has in store for you, and if I had given up when all odds were against me, I wouldn't be where I am today. This silly little game helped me realize that. Thank you.

This is actually a fun little arcade racing game. What makes it unique is that all the drivers are elderly people, racing in their wheelchairs or scooters, waving canes to hit others like in Road Rash. The maps are small but enjoyable, with lots of turns that can be quite challenging at times. Like most kart games, you collect boxes for tools to attack or defend yourself. Each match usually lasts for 4 laps. In the first few races, it might feel unnecessary as a match can take almost 3 minutes. After upgrading engine you become much faster, a 4-lap match only takes 1.5 minutes and in that speed, you need to remember the turns, because you reaches them faster than you can react. The controls are very flexible, though I wish Devs would add a handbrake. Besides the tools you get from boxes, there are also zombies and bikers you can hit on the road, aliens trying to abduct you, and police cars patrolling - make sure to avoid them because if you crash, you might need to reposition several times to get past them. Overall, it’s a nice little game that can be completed in about an hour. It also features online multiplayer and local split-screen. [u] [url=https://store.steampowered.com/curator/43342176-Why-Not-Games/#browse] My curator page[/url][/u]

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Coffin Dodgers has the potential to be a fun and quirky racing game, but its poor execution leaves much to be desired. With unresponsive controls, uninspired visuals, and a lack of engaging content, the game struggles to maintain player interest. While the humorous premise may attract some players initially, the overall experience is marred by technical issues and shallow gameplay mechanics. For those seeking a satisfying kart racing experience, Coffin Dodgers ultimately falls short and fails to compete with more polished entries in the genre. Score: 4/10

Both the gameplay and graphic styles are similar to Mario Kart.

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