Velocity Noodle

4/10 CANT REBIND controller controls Y resets the entire level on xbox controller. never once wanted to reset the level. i have done this like 60 times....♥♥♥♥ default controls are just so bad

Velocity Noodle is yet another of literally thousands of 2D retro pixel platformers infesting Steam and lowering the average quality of all video games everywhere. This console ported 2D retro pixel platformer has a speedrunner theme as you're supposed to negotiate each level as quickly as possible. I can certainly understand that gamers will be keen to be done with this as quickly as possible due to the low quality. In terms of differentiators, this game has very few, just double jumping and a boomerang sword that follows you around that you can throw at stuff. Amazing, this will surely save the old, dead, obsolete platformer genre. From a technical perspective, the game doesn't meet basic minimum requirements that most PC gamers expect as standard. A choice was made to use obsolete, decades old retro pixel "art" as a substitute for contemporary PC graphics. It's unclear if this is due to lack of budget or talent, regardless, the overall visual quality of the game is extremely low as a result. There's no options to change the resolution for the game or customise the graphics settings. There's no way for gamers to ensure this is running at the [b]native resolution[/b] of their displays. Because this is a console game, it carries a number of deliberate design deficiencies. Compromises were made to cater to the inferior console gaming appliances that the game was designed for. Some of the defects in the game can be attributed to the choice of using the Clickteam Fusion construction kit - the "No-Code" construction kit that "Anyone can make games with!". Including people who aren't real game developers. This is a very poor quality toolset sometimes used by amateur developers as it's free (so they don't have to pay for GameMaker Studio) and doesn't require advanced game development skills. Just as you can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear, you can't make a great video game if you use a terrible engine. These technical defects push this game below acceptable standards for any modern PC game. The poor quality of this game is reflected by how many people spent time with it. At the time of this review, SteamDB shows the all-time peak player number was only 5 players. This is a remarkably low number, and now, the only player activity occurs once or twice a month. Considering there's over 120 million gamers on Steam and well over 50,000 games to choose from, the overwhelming lack of interest in this low quality game is to be expected. Velocity Noodle has the utterly unrealistic price of $13 USD. They seem to think this game is better than Mass Effect and Red Dead Redemption 2, so they've priced it higher than those games can be bought for. Wow. This is also competing with over 9,000 free games available on Steam, many of them far better than this paid product. Given the defects and quality issues with the game, coupled with the unrealistic price, this is impossible to recommend. [b][quote][url=https://partner.steamgames.com/doc/marketing/profile]Profile Features Limited![/url][/quote][/b]Valve have marked this game as "Profile Features Limited" at the time of this review. This is usually caused by poor sales figures and low community acceptance for the game (to date). Until this status changes, this game will not give you +1 to your Game Collector badge count, appear in profile achievements or any other Steam meta-accomplishments, nor can it be displayed in some profile showcases. If these factors are important to you, it may be worth holding off before buying this game. [quote][url=https://partner.steamgames.com/doc/store/reviews]Developer Response![/url][/quote] The developer has weighed in to inform everyone they didn't read the Developer Usage Rules for Steam "partners", or they deliberately ignored the part where Valve says: [quote]Though it may be tempting, not every review needs to be responded to. A developer response will frequently draw more attention than the original statement, potentially turning a small issue into a much larger community discussion. It's also not a good idea to use this feature to refute customer opinions. Your direct attention can be seen as validation or a defensive attempt to silence your customers.[/quote] The developer levels a response completely full of lies, cognitive dissonance, and copes. This toxic, dishonest response is intended to mislead gamers, and feed the state of delusion they need to maintain to avoid facing the stark facts about this dismal failure that's polluting Steam. For starters, it's perhaps disingenous of me to refer to this person as a "developer". Using drag-and-drop code free construction kits like ClickTeam Fusion doesn't make someone a developer. This toolset is just for making demos and toys to pass around with friends, and must never be used as a substitute for professional game development as the "developer" has done here. This is harmful to the industry because it pollutes the place and takes away market access for real developers who do the right thing. Let's get into the lies (and note, importantly, the developer could not refute any single one of the solid FACTS of my review). The developer starts with an underhanded "are you ok?" - implying I'm not, and that's why his game doesn't suck. See what he's up to? Wheedling little personal attacks riddle his unhinged response. Nothing in my review is false. I have played a lot of games, many from talentless hacks who can't do game development properly but dump their refuse on Steam for $100 anyway, where it dies. There's only so many ways I can warn gamers that a game has crap pixel "art" or whatever other failure from the developer. I've reviewed over 2,500 pixelcrap games. I don't use a "template" for reviewing games, but I do assemble my reviews as a result of careful research into the gameplay, the developer, and the underlying technology. The developer DEMANDS I find 2,500 UNIQUE ways to warn gamers about the same defect. What arrogance. Then the developer contradicts themselves and accuses me of using ChatGPT. Which is it? Both cannot be true. Of course, he is wrong about both, he just wants to attack me so he doesn't have to accept his failure. In an attempt to discredit my review the developer seems to think that the game must be played for several hours before determining any objective facts about it. Apparently, before deciding a carton of milk is rancid, the developer thinks we must drink the whole carton before we're allowed to tell anyone the milk is off. [b]Playing a bad game for longer will not make the graphics better, cause the code to change, controls to become better, or fix any bugs or other defects in it.[/b] So why insist the game needs to be played longer? This is simply psychological denial, a cope. If they can attack the review, they can pretend their game doesn't suffer from the defects this review highlights. This is outright delusion, unfortunately. [b]It does not take very long for the defects in this game to become apparent. Playing the game for longer will not change them.[/b] Then they lie about their use of pixelcrap "art" instead of doing their job properly... this is a clear lie. If they could do better, they WOULD do better. That's just all they are capable of, and much like they rely on childrens toy Clickteam Fusion to make games, they can't create video game art either, and fall back on the pixelcrap. They stunningly reveal they don't know that monitors have a native resolution, but more likely they couldn't work out how to make ClickTeam Fusion have graphics and resolution settings. What a joke. It doesn't matter what order this game was launched, it's a console game, it's got all the deficiencies of one. The developer attacks me to try hide that. See the motive? Attack the reviewer, avoid the truth. Nothing in the developers insulting, arrogant response changes any of the objective facts about this failure. My review stands unaltered.

I really enjoy platformers, but I'm more of a slow and precise kind of person. Speedrunning has never really been my thing, but this game blew me away. The game was almost perfect in terms of movement (there are some minor issues here and there but nothing really major), and it felt really good to flow through the levels, and get a bit better each time. Routing was not very complicated, and the gold medal times (including for the hard levels) were pretty tame and overall enjoyable. Highly recommend, but the price tag is fairly steep for the amount of content you are given. 100% buy during a sale though if you are into this kind of thing.

Being a noodle delivery is hard, but I enjoy it a lot. The intense gameplay with cyberpunk style is awesome. Though the control isn't that complicated, I still consider it as a hard platformer game, as it nearly requires you to not make any mistake. But, I still recommend this game to casual players just because this is very fun to play.

When I first tried this game earlier this year, I experienced the following bugs within just the first few levels: [list] [*]Sometimes after clearing a level, the next level loads suddenly, and your time for the level you just cleared gets erroneously saved as your PB for the level that just loaded instead (even if you've never played it). [*]Same as above, but this time, the flag that keeps track of whether you've found the collectible in a level gets erroneously saved to the next level instead. [*]Sometimes if you press or hold certain inputs while a level loads, the level timer will already be running before the countdown timer finishes, the countdown timer itself will slowly drift to the right off the screen, your character will spawn in the wrong place, and/or your character will appear stuck in an animation until you start moving. [*]Sometimes after clearing a level, your time will overwrite your PB even if your PB was faster. This can cause you to [i]lose[/i] trophies. [/list] I reported some of these bugs after playing, but they remain unfixed. Today, I tried playing the game again while being careful with my inputs so as not to trigger any of the bugs, but that didn't work, and I actually discovered more bugs instead: [list] [*]Sometimes after getting a PB on a level, the time that gets saved is 0.01s faster than the time that appeared on the clear screen. Maybe a rounding discrepancy? [*]Often, when pressing ESC to exit a level, the level select screen and main menu will appear on top of one another and can be navigated simultaneously. The Start button on a gamepad doesn't have this problem. [*]While writing this review, I tried replicating the above to understand the bug better, but the game crashed when I pressed ESC. This happened again later after I reinstalled the game to see if that would fix anything. [/list] I have no idea what game the people who left positive reviews played, but I wish I'd played that one instead. The game I played is comically dysfunctional. Even if you somehow manage to avoid the bugs, the game has other issues: [list] [*]When you jump onto a wall, there's a short delay before you actually latch onto it; so if you try to jump off the wall too soon, either it won't work or you'll waste your double jump. This makes jumping between two walls feel awful. [*]If you fail to slide under an object and are instead stopped by it, you have to back up a bit before you can attempt to slide under it again. This also feels awful. [*]It can be hard to distinguish foreground objects from background ones. [*]The writing is awkward and contains several mistakes. [*]The developer appears to have left an entire buffet of debug features in production without any safeguard in place to prevent them from being triggered by accident. Just press 1 to toggle visible hitboxes, 2 to toggle the HUD, 3 to toggle... something, 4 to toggle debug mode, 6 to toggle [i]infinite HP[/i], and F2 to instantly reset the game. I checked to see if it's possible to update your PB on a level while infinite HP is enabled, but the game crashed when I tried returning to the level select screen after clearing one. (I relaunched the game and found that my PB did indeed update.) [/list] This game probably has the highest problems-encountered-per-hour ratio of any game I've ever played in my life. But I hope I'm coming across as laughing [i]with[/i] rather than [i]at[/i] the developer, since I like the game's idea, controls, art, and music, and hope they continue to pursue their creative passion. Until some of these problems get patched, however, I'll have to leave this review here. (Remind me never to play a game recommended by Jarvis ever again.)

Short but hard IL speedrun platformer. Controls feel responsive and enjoyable, artstyle and soundtrack is good. Worth it if you're looking for an approachable but well-made time-trial platformer! Check out https://store.steampowered.com/curator/41559946 for more recommendations!

Quick Description: -Velocity Noodle is a fast twitch cyberpunk themed precision platformer that offers a blazing soundtrack and tons of challenging levels. This is a speedrunners dream and has been a real joy to experience. While at the moment, it doesn't offer a ton of content, it makes up for it w/ fluid movement and innovative mechanics that any fan of the genre will appreciate. *Notes: -I have completed the 3 chapter story mode and all of the Hard levels and it took me just under 3 hrs. However, I've only managed to get a gold medal 4-5 times and I have a ton of chopsticks to find throughout the levels. I have by no means mastered the fundamental mechanics as that will likely take many more hrs. The dev mentioned that there may be more levels added in the future. What's Good: -This game reminds me a lot of Aeon Drive but I think that Velocity Noodle feels far more fluid mechanically. Jumping, dashing, and throwing out your sword feels great. There is close to no input lag in anything that you do. This was one of my biggest gripes w/ Aeon Drive, so I'm glad to see that this game really nails this fundamental down. It can make or break a game in this genre and Velocity Noodle gets a big thumbs up in this department. -This has an absolute banger soundtrack! There isn't a ton of variety, but the songs that are offered are perfect for the tempo and speed of this game. It's exactly the type of music you would expect in a hyper speed cyperpunk world. -Both Velocity Noodle and Aeon Drive have very similar teleportation mechanics, but I think that the mechanic is utilized in a more innovative way here. The dagger in Aeon Drive teleports you to it's destination, but you always need a platform to land on. What makes Velocity Noodle special, is that you can essentially stay in air indefinitely once you have mastered this teleportation mechanic. It reminds me of the mechanic introduced in The Messenger which helps you stay airborn continually. -Although there aren't a ton of levels, the difficulty curve and pacing feel really good. I'd say that the learning curve is a tad more steep than the average game in this genre, but isn't too intimidating. The Hard levels are really fun and offer the most challenging and unique platforming sections in this game. I suspect that they ceiling is extremely high though. I've watched a few streamers and it looks like they are playing a different game b/c of how they have mastered the movement and mechanics. Could Use Some Changes: -The game length is clearly the biggest con right now. This is a game meant to be played over and over, but if you were to rush through the 3 chapters, avoid going for the chopsticks, and ignore the Hard levels, you could easily beat the whole game in under 2 hrs. That is clearly not the intended way to play the game. However, I'd still love to see another chapter or two in the future either added as a patch or a dlc. -The story is extremely limited and there is no voice acting. This is to be expected from a solo dev in this genre, but it's worth mentioning as some players always expect a unique narrative. -The camera moves as you move and jump throughout the levels. It can feel jarring at times, especially early on as you are getting used to it. I do believe that a patch has already been added that lowers the speed that the camera moves w/ the player. Thoughts: -This is my favorite genre and I'm a huge fan of solo devs that are trying to create passion projects. Clearly, the dev has put a lot of time, energy, and love into this fast and fluid speedrunner. It doesn't offer as much content or variety as the best in the genre, but it is a well designed, fun, and challenging game that won't hurt your bank account too much. Consensus: -Middle of the Road Game (Tier 4 and makes up 25% of my reviews). I'm looking forward to mastering the levels and collecting all of the chopsticks in the near future. I had a lot of fun w/ this game, but I'm not sure if it has the staying power that better games in the genre offer. I do think it's an easy recommendation when on sale, especially if you are a long time precision platformer fan.

Fun IL based platformer, none of the games challenges (collectible, speedrun times, and hitless levels) are too hard but it's a fun and chill experience overall. No real complaints besides the game could probably be a bit cheaper, but it goes on sale for fairly cheap so that takes care of that.

A neat little time attack precision platformer. Buy it on sale unless you're into speedrunning.

Page de la vidéo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zWpODFinHEk Page Steam du jeu : https://store.steampowered.com/app/1488650/Velocity_Noodle/ Page Twitter du dev : https://twitter.com/ShotgunAnaconda Page de Baby Redemption : https://store.steampowered.com/app/1029040/Baby_Redemption/ Ma page Twitter : https://twitter.com/Okamiette_ Mon Ko-Fi si tu veux me soutenir : https://ko-fi.com/ookamiette Mon groupe de curation Steam : https://steamcommunity.com/groups/ookareview Les tags : #VelocityNoodle #BabyRedemption #Dieandretry Salut mes petits agneaux ! Dans la découverte de ce jour, nous allons apprendre à livrer des nouilles dans une ville post apocalyptique où le cyber punk a repris tout ses droits sur la verticalité des immeubles ! Autant vous dire que va y avoir du saut, du planimétrage et de la crise de nerf ! Velocity Noodle est un jeu de speed run, vous allez en baver du bouillon pour atteindre les fins de niveaux, c’est moi qui vous le dis ! Vous allez devoir sauter, glisser, rebondir sur les murs, utiliser votre arme pour vous téléporter d’un coin à l’autre tout en esquivant les scies circulaires, les flics pas contents, et les trous qui sont un peu trop nombreux à mon goût ! Si vous aimez le genre Die and retry, vous ne serez pas dépaysé ! Si vous aimez souffrir, allez-y, c’est pas cher ! La courbe de progression dans la difficulté est un peu trop raide pour les novices, et les commandes sont un peu perdues dans la masse. (mention spéciale au bouton reset qui vous remet au tout début du niveau si vous y touchez par inadvertance!) Mais avec tout ça, le jeu n’est pas mal du tout, une bonne bande son, des défis à la hauteur de ceux qui tenteront, et un sentiment d’accomplissement quand vous livrez enfin vos nouilles bien chaudes dans la boîte aux lettres de vos clients ! (Et je vous voie de suite les petits esprits mal placés, je parle bien de livraison pas d’autres choses ! Nameo!) Du coup, je recommande ce jeu, bien que j’y sois totalement nulle, car après tout, il en faut pour tout le monde, c’est la morale de cette histoire, qui ne finira pas en court bouillon ! C’était Ookamiette, encore pas mal salée !