Secret of the Magic Crystals

[h1] Seriously, who play this? [/h1]

A lot has been said about this game, the gag gifting game on Steam. The game you gift to your frenemies. As someone with a special collection of "crappy kids games" mainly focusing on horse and vet games in particular, I had to know more. And this game is indeed a worthy addition of my crappy kids collection. Sometimes a crappy game can be fun. This is not one of those. The game starts with a short story, but after that there is no tutorial. In the settings you can turn tutorial mode on, but it still doesn't tell you what to do. You need to click on things and then it says the same text over and over until you turn tutorial mode off. For review purposes I tried to do everything in the game. But I couldn't last long enough to have truly tried everything. The gameplay seems to be around training your magical horse and breeding it, then training the foal etc. It actually has some nice concepts. Not many horse games feature so many training options, including dressage, pulling a cart. The problem is that it is a nice idea, but not well executed. Every training is exactly the same. The entire training gameplay consists of watching a side scroller and you have to press the correct arrow at the right time, like a rhythm game. Which sounds more fun than it in reality is. The game seems to feature collecting ingredients, but I haven't been able to explore how you come across them. There seems to be a little vet part in case your horse gets sick. You also need to groom your horse (running your mouse over the horse with the correct brush). There is a blacksmithing part. You can discover recipes for magical horseshoes and then make them. This again sounds more exciting than it in reality is. It is the same arrow minigame as in all the training. And discovering recipes just means slapping some money on it and it will tell you "it was found near a river with piranhas". Then there is also racing and doing quests. I tried those but since I do not own the DLC, it will first ask you to buy the DLC. It also did that when I tried to quit playing, which I think is rather predatory especially for kids. If you don't have the DLC racing and questing simply means your horse will be gone for an irl amount of time, such as 1 minute and you are just staring at your screen. It boasts that with the DLC you can race against other players online and there is even an achievement to overtake 40 competitors in a race. Somehow I can't imagine being able to find 40 other players to race with, but anyone can dream.

I bought this game because I thought it would be a fun little horse game but turns out it's rubbish and has nothing in it. When you first join the game, it gives you one instruction, join the barn, but once you join the barn and name your horse it gives you NOTHING, there's no tutorial teaching you anything, there's nothing telling you about the currencies, it doesn't tell you where to go next or even show you a little bit of the ropes. I thought for $5 how bad could it be? It's awful. Do not waste your time or money here. There are better animal/horse games out there.

When Red Dead didn't got me I knew Secret of the Magic Crystal got me can I get an amen

I was ready to give this a positive rating despite all my issues with it, but the fact I need to buy an extension on a 10+ year old game, which DEFINITELY doesn't have a large enough consistent player base to get the achievements, is very off-putting.

🐴 Secret of the Magic Crystals — A Tragic Tale of Horse Filth Hours Played: 1 Review: ❌ Not Recommended Rating: One Broken Horsehair Brush out of Five Hand-Forged Golden Horseshoes What is there to say about Secret of the Magic Crystals? It’s a game that preys on the hopes and adoration of the horse community—those wide-eyed souls who just wanted to love their digital stallions. When I was gifted Secret of the Magic Crystals, I approached it with an open mind and an open heart. And I regret not maintaining my deep-rooted cynicism toward both low-price Steam games and games in general. Some people complain about $80 triple-A titles that fail to deliver. But I argue the real crime is developers who take the spirit of a $5 deal and ♥♥♥♥ you so hard in the ass that you have no idea what you just spent the past hour looking at. Don’t get me wrong — I love a good horse girl. I was close friends with one growing up. The local horse girl on my bus actually stole several of her father’s Playboys for me. She was dirty — not depraved, just physically dirty — covered in a deep soot. Years later, I found out on Facebook she’d become a popular stripper in upper-state Wisconsin. Would I ever have asked that girl to play this horse game, knowing what I know now? Absolutely not. As someone who’s injured his own legs and ankles more times than I can count, I thought I could relate to a game like this. I thought maybe, just maybe, there was a kinship between me and these magical horses. But boy, was I wrong. There’s not a single ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ thing to do in this game besides pretend to brush your golden horse’s hair and wait for anything enjoyable to happen off-screen. You click on menus, your horse leaves, and comes back with… maybe money? Maybe not. That’s the whole game. Every cosmetic item is locked behind a paywall. Horse racing? Locked behind a paywall. Fun? Locked behind a paywall. This isn’t a game. It’s a broken saddle strapped to the bare, sweating back of the Steam community. It’s trash. It’s horse filth. It’s awful.

Жена сказала, что если на этом обзоре наберётся 10 лайков и 5 наград, то она подарит ящик пива. Мужики, выручайте!

sehr qualitatives Game mit aktive Community und herfragender Graphik. Spielspaß garantiert.

marre de cette commu lgbt

I played it when I was very depressed and it helped me feel better.