Forest Woodman

I don't know how to explain what I just experienced. Here I am, finishing up my "Bad game Sunday" routine and Forest Woodman delivers, but also delivers a strange experience. You start off in a hut and drink some vodka before heading out to kill some monstrous mosquitoes. At some point you'll potentially consider picking up a random CD. Don't. It loads you into another hut with some anime on the walls and music playing. Then some kind of weird monster dudes show up and beat you to death. It's a weird experience. Oh, and it wouldn't load through Steam because it's looking for an EXE that doesn't exist. I had to go into the directory manually to find the game exe and start it. A bit of a hassle, and not particularly worth it.

I've only played "Forest Woodman" for one hour and if I can tell you one thing its that this game is GENIUS. So let me explain myself and my whole story about this masterpiece known by the generic name "Forest Woodman" (I mean wtf even is a woodman). When I first saw this game under the "New and Trending" steam category I instantly fell in love (could this be the next extreme truck simulator?) and it was 15% off making it only $2.54, I knew at that moment "THIS IS EPIC". It was an impulse purchase I had watched the trailer and even though the game didn't have guns (eww) I knew its potential was at least 100 and I bought it. When I started downloading it I found out it was about 2 GB (to put it into context that's like 16,000,000,000‬ bits!) and after about an hour on hotel wifi, it had finished downloading. When I first tried launching it it gave me the error "An error occurred while updating "Forest Woodman" (missing executable)", and whilst that might through off your average layman, I'm whats considered a computer wizard/genius and I went directly to the games files and launched it from there. When I first launched it I was instantly impressed by the main menu, there were 4 buttons one of them called (Meee) and when I clicked it it made some sort of cow noise (it was a weird cow idk how to explain it) and I spammed it for a solid five seconds. After that I clicked the button called "Loading" and my game crashed. Soon after I clicked the "New Game" button and loaded right in. I really don't want to spoil the game for you but I drank some Vodka went outside and did some farming. When I used my hoe (hehe) on the carrots they disappeared with an extremely satisfying noise and I moved on to exploring. The controls are a bit weird but nothing game breaking, "tab" is map (for some reason) and "I" is inventory (in what universe >:( !!!). When I opened my map I instantly say this map that had X's and O's, the first thing I did was go towards an O (the O's were bigger so why not) and I saw these weird fly's (mosquitoes) and I started hitting them with my hoe (hehe), they weren't that hard to take down and most of their attacks missed but then I heard some behind me and I got trapped and died. That was extremely scary and the way the game builds and atmosphere is incredible I was on my toes the whole time watching out for even scarier monsters (haven't found any yet but I've only played for an hour). While the games graphics might be considered "lacking" to most, I actually found them to give the game a certain ambiance that was actually really unique. The mosquitoes are really detailed and scared the crap out of me when I first saw some. The grass is a bit lacking because some is located on paths (that never happens irl) and it didn't really seem to go with the ground. My main criticisms to the developer are the fact that I get a massive lag spike every 10 minutes or so which has made my take damage, and that my game crashed in the main menu when I clicked the "Loading" button (it should be called "Load Save"). Overall I found it extremely fun to play with friends watching and I would legitimately recommend it from my current experience (multiplayer would really suit this game I feel) and that's about all I have to say for now, peace out fellow PC gamer's, may your frame rates be high and your feet warm.