First of all and straight off the bat, this is an early access thumbs up with a benevolent form of grace and mercy, it is far away from a clear-cut recommendation and advises you to read carefully before spending money here. While I was in there, jotting down thoughts on the side, one thing was immediately clear to me, the decision to give the game a thumbs up or down was not going to be an easy one. At some point in the middle of it, I even had the thought of maybe just not writing something this time, I could have excused it by saying that I don't have to write about every game anyway and could have done something else instead. But here we are, so let's get the party started.
"Hey Mr. DJ put a record on, I wanna dance with my baby"
Another but only fleeting thought was to get in touch with the developer to share my thoughts, but since I don't use Discord (yes there is actually such a thing) and don't have Instagram either (don't freak out now) it became clear it had to come down to a review, which this Jizzy would get to see anyway and without having to explain in detail what DJing means to me. And another option would have been to invite him to a puplic debate to ask him, what it means to him when someone who has been a DJ for 32 years and has seen it all, doesn't feel addressed/touched by his little DJ Simulator.
I wonder how he would have reacted? "What do you mean? You're a DJ and this is the DJ Simulator, everything's cool right?" or "Okay Boomer, dont' start crying now, times have just changed yo" or "Thank you for your feedback, we sincerely apologize for the inconvenience you have experienced with our product. Your concern is very important to us, and we are constantly working to improve the quality of our products and services."
So If headphones are only for losers and you only need to count to 4 to be a DJ, then why wasn't the game called:
Screw DJ Culture! or Pro Laptop DJ Simulator Without Having 2 Carry Heavy Record Bags.
Why isn't there an option for turntables or CDJs in a game like this? And why do I have to play Techno if I don't even like it?
"There's not a problem that i can't fix, cause I can do it in the mix"
So yea you can import your own songs and give your character and your controller logos/skins to wear, and your fans merch, there is unlockable stuff like a smoke machine and a more comfortable bed, you can drink beer until you can hardly see anything, but how user-friendly is the game? And how well does it perform? Well let's double drop in on that.
I tested the game on four different devices, and it crashed a total of 21 times during that period, each computer heated up very quickly and gpu levels, such as volume, were consistently concerning. When you start the game and reach the initial screen, which is essentially the menu, everything seems fine at first. However, after 10 to 15 minutes, it becomes noticeably hot in some areas, even though not much is going on. And when you really start or continue your game, the devices ramp up significantly and kinda overheats, so hence this advice, keep an eye on it while playing.
Since the game suggests that headphones are only for losers, don't even think about previewing the next song. Using the jog wheel to fast forward feels awkward, so just play the next track and do something else. The cue button is delayed, and even though there is a snap function, the beats drift apart, especially when loops are activated, and this happens even with the same BPM which is very unsatisfying. Realistic and worthy as a simulation? Not quite yet.
"Come Mr. DJ song pon de replay, come Mr. DJ won't you turn the music up?"
On your way to becoming a festival headliner superstar (Oh, those phrases!) you mainly play 4 or 5-minute sets in very monotonous clubs, so it's always the same. You do get an achievement if you puff on your vaporizer often or set off rockets in your apartment, but none if you throw beer bottles at techno fans, which was actually the most fun.
I would have loved to punch someone, who came to the DJ booth to make a request or spills her/his drink there. It's an absolute mystery to me why this wasn't considered, it would have been so much fun!
While you can dance around during your set at the push of a button or use a flashlight (for whatever reason) the handling of the faders is not always smooth. Even though you clearly grab and move them, they sometimes get stuck in motion, which can of course ruin your whole transition.
"I am a DJ, I am what I play, can't turn around no, can't turn around no"
If you're not heavily into DJing but want to have a little fun, then get this DJ Simulator and toy around with it, if you don't have enough money to get real equipment, then also consider it. And if you're like me and want to try everything related to music and DJing, then push the button. Everyone else should think twice before getting this thing.
