Broken down.
Story:
You play as Soviet Bear. One day you decide that you want to wash your brick and all you have is a crazy washing machine that will try to kill you, but you're not going to let some pansy machine boss you around, so you pick up a gun and wash that brick.
There's really not even a story in the game. This is taken from the various texts in the game and in the store page, the final so called level basically invents some story, but nothing really all that interesting or even that funny considering this is a joke game.
Graphics:
Crazy Washing Machine looks pretty bad for the most part, but it's also mostly a asset flip. The environments feel like basic test maps with no texturing, the animations are wonky and glitchy as a joke, but just come off as looking stupid and there's plenty of levels that just look incredibly boring.
Audio:
The audio design itself isn't particularly interesting, it's neither bad nor good. I'll begin by saying that the game has some copyrighted material in it which is surprising that this wasn't taken down because of it. After you complete each level it plays the John Cena theme, which is funny at first, but gets tiring fast.
Sound effects themselves aren't particularly well mixed. There's a huge problem with them overlapping and when there's a gajillion items on screen all violently shaking it's a bit annoying on the ears. This is especially annoying in the bulldozer level where you're given explosive bullets which makes everything twenty times worse.
Gameplay:
Crazy Washing Machine is basically an arcade-y survival game where in each level you have to survive the given time which is usually 60 seconds all while washing machines hunt you down. There's also a few different level goals which includes reaching the end of the level in the fastest time possible.
I will admit that quite a few levels are genuinely pretty fun. I was very much not impressed by the presentation, but I genuinely liked a few of the survival levels, but very quickly my enjoyment got changed into pure frustration. It's mostly cause there's literally no strategy to some of the levels, walking in a circle is enough to finish basically every level.
You also have a gun with 5K rounds which you can use to shoot the washing machines heading straight towards you or to shoot obstacles out of your way. This works when it feels like it and will actually land in you in more trouble sometimes because the physics of boxes is absolutely nonsensical. Sometimes when you shoot an item it will go towards you, instead of launching backwards or even better yet, it won't move at all.
I also have to talk about one specific level which is the maze where you have to find your way across a maze where everything looks the same. I kept exploring the maze and I could not find the way I was supposed to go until I found that you have to turn around, drop down and explore another level below and then I found out that you can basically cheese the entire level with one really tight jump and finish it in less than 30 seconds.
There's also tons of issues with your character model just getting stuck on everything and in general the movement just doesn't feel that good. Since the game is about avoiding obstacles by moving around and the moving isn't that great, that's a huge flaw in it's design.
Verdict:
Crazy Washing Machine is a nice idea with a really poor execution. While there is some fun to be had in some of the simpler levels, a lot of it is just needlessly frustrating and unfun. It won't take you longer than 40 minutes to finish everything, but even as a joke it's one you rather not hear.
Final Rating:
3/10
Pros:
+ Some of the simpler levels are genuinely quite fun
Cons:
- The maze level is incredibly poorly designed
- Visuals are basically an asset flip
- Gameplay is incredibly janky and makes certain levels too tedious
- Audio design is quite annoying
NOTE: I was provided with a copy of the game by the developer/publisher for review purposes on the behalf of the group Completing the Backlog, this did not impact my opinion on the game.
If you liked this review please consider joining https://steamcommunity.com/groups/completingthebacklog and https://steamcommunity.com/groups/ImperialReviews
