Crash Dummy

Right off the bat, the game treats the player to the Unity startup menu. Following that is the finest animation that North Korea has to offer in a cutscene that looks like the scoreboard at the bowling alley when you get a strike, voiced by folks who generally enunciate well. Combining human DNA with servile dummies apparently creates some sort of hybrids, yielding your basic damsel-in-distress story. I really don't know. I assume that the plot makes more sense in the native language and hallucinatory state of the drugs in which it was written, but whatever was intended, it doesn't perfectly translate to English. The opening cutscene is the only fully animated part of the story. The rest of the plot is told through the kind of simple dialogue boxes accompanied by still-frame pictures that were standard for GBA games, albeit, littered with typos, accompanying an overall graphical style of early Flash animation. To say that controllers are supported for this game is a misnomer. As far as I can tell, a controller is required. The mouse scrolls through the levels in the main menu, but otherwise, both it and the keyboard might as well be broken. I tried setting up keyboard bindings in the Unity menu, but it's a lengthy and sloppy list that for some reason includes 29 axes for each of 16 different hypothetical joysticks. So, yeah. I might be shirking the professionalism of a proper review by not setting up a bind for every item in a list almost 500 items long just to see what happens, but for an obscure game of this cobbled-together quality, I feel safe in saying that a controller is required. Even so, it isn't ideally executed. Normally, for 2D platform games that don't heavily feature any sort of momentum (like the sort you'd find in Mario or Sonic), I favor using the D-pad, as I find it preferable to an analog stick for subtle movements in rigid control. Crash Dummy doesn't really have momentum, outside of a combined dash+jump that I'm 99% sure that the developers didn't intend for the player to use, as it cheeses many puzzles and platforming sections. However, I can't really use the D-pad, as the input drags considerably, often keeping me moving nearly a full second after my finger has left the pad. The stick is too precise though, as it also registers minute up and down movements, meant for stealth and swimming, but it's too sensitive relative to the horizontal directions. On land, it can slow the movement right before a jump, screwing up the entire leap, and I find myself deliberately tilting the stick diagonally up to avoid accidentally slowing myself down. In the water, it makes it very difficult to go left or right without also moving vertically, so taking damage from bumping into hazards becomes an inevitability. Of course, I say that as though dying in this game actually means anything. It doesn't. When you die, you respawn right where you left off. When you run out of lives and get a game over, you can continue, again, right where you left off. Only in boss battles does it make a difference, where running out of lives means starting the fights over from their beginnings, but those situations are usually so easy that I only first noticed it during the Bigfoot level, the third boss which is roughly 75% of the way through the game. It isn't so much a boss as it is a platforming gauntlet. Even so, I didn't get the game over screen because of any legitimate challenge. I died because the platforming, the very core of this game, is terribly flawed. The inconsistency of the inputs, movements, and hit detection always turns platforming into a harder task than it needs to be. When hanging from a ledge, there is no clear delineation for when the jump button will cause me to either jump up or fall down, even when pressing a specific direction on the stick. If landing on a moving platform from a great height, the animation that locks me in place for "catching my balance" after such a drop doesn't stick me to the platform, which means that it can move out from under my feet while I'm waiting for the animation to finish, and I fall further. The springs are flat-out broken; The ones activated by dashing into them inexplicably don't always work, and the ones that simply bounce me around have some weird properties, sucking me into their centers and forcing me to use them if they aren't given a berth that feels too wide. It's a bunch of little things that add up to an overall irritating experience. With how overly precise and yet somehow laggy the controls and movement are, it's also worth talking about the obstacles expected to be overcome with them, which is where I have to partially concede; The level design in Crash Dummy is actually competent, when it works the way it's supposed to work. The stages are lengthy, to be sure, but they are varied enough in themes and gameplay to stand out from one another. The puzzles, when sound in formation, are a suitable way to break up the typical pacing of running right and killing everything in sight. New mechanics, enemies, and weapons are revealed in a piecemeal fashion that could keep the player hungry for more, under ideal circumstances. The sound design fits a similar bill. In the title screen and the level select menu, (the only in-game menu,) the theme music sounds like someone trying to recreate a Fatboy Slim song from memory. During the levels, the soundtrack is quite interesting, especially for the ice mountain stage. That really sounds like something you'd hear in Silent Hill or Hitman. However, the music typically has a tendency to just stop playing for no real reason, and otherwise, the audio quality is pretty scuffed overall. Some effects sound muffled, or they skip, or when there's a lot going on, they'll layer on top of each other to quickly reach annoyingly high volume without any real warning. Getting through it took me nearly 4 hours, but I mostly credit that time to just how broken Crash Dummy is, and it's often more frustrating than entertaining. Jumping through platforming sections with sometimes razor-thin time limits while wrangling with the slipshod controls and movement, wasting effort and minutes off of my life trying to solve a required puzzle while not realizing that it has become bugged and that I need to restart the level, grappling with the impossibly inconsistent hitboxes of the enemies and the terrain and even the character I'm playing as... Any one of these would be obnoxious on its own. Combined into one game, it's too much to recommend. It's unfortunate, because there is a decent platforming game underneath all of its problems, but Crash Dummy's problems are a mile thick, and mostly feel like a lot of rushed oversight. Even within its price range, there are more refined and more entertaining 2D platformers out there, yet it's not even worth talking about the price, considering how overall maddening this game is to play. Save yourself your money and your time.

It doesn't work without controllers. With a keyboard you can't even skip the starting cutscene, and after the whole cutscene is finished playing, it says "press B", and no key works.

I recently had the pleasure of playing the game crash dummy, and I must say, it exceeded all my expectations! From the moment I started playing, I was hooked on the adrenaline-pumping action and the sheer fun of causing controlled chaos. First and foremost, the graphics are outstanding. The attention to detail in the environments and character design is impressive, creating a visually stunning and immersive experience. The vibrant colors and smooth animations add an extra layer of excitement to the gameplay. The game mechanics are where "Crash Dummy" truly shines. The controls are intuitive and responsive, allowing for precise maneuvering during the thrilling crash sequences. The variety of vehicles and obstacles keeps the gameplay fresh and exciting, ensuring that every level presents a unique challenge. What sets "Crash Dummy" apart is its perfect blend of humor and excitement. The quirky antics of the crash dummy protagonist inject a lighthearted charm into the game, making it enjoyable for players of all ages. The developers have managed to strike a balance between challenging gameplay and comedic elements, creating an experience that is both engaging and entertaining. One of the standout features is the level design. Each level is thoughtfully crafted with a mix of ramps, obstacles, and hazards, requiring strategic thinking and skillful execution. The progressive difficulty ensures that players are constantly pushed to improve their skills, keeping the game engaging and rewarding. The soundtrack is another noteworthy aspect of the game. The energetic and upbeat tunes perfectly complement the fast-paced nature of the gameplay, enhancing the overall experience and adding to the excitement. In addition to the main campaign, "Crash Dummy" offers a variety of additional modes and challenges, providing plenty of content to keep players entertained for hours on end. The replay value is high, thanks to the addictive nature of trying to beat your own high scores and master each level. In conclusion, "Crash Dummy" is a fantastic game that delivers on all fronts. With its stunning visuals, intuitive controls, humorous elements, and challenging gameplay, it's a must-play for anyone looking for a thrilling and enjoyable gaming experience. Strap in and get ready for a crashingly good time! I hate my life.

I needed only 10 minutes to see how bad is this game...

Oh my gosh guys!Crash Dummy on Steam is one of a kind game that u need to play!Their's this level called a ripoff of Ghosts N Goblins and i swear to turkey smackers that it goes on forever im dead serious i spent 78 minutes on one effing level 2D platformer this game is a joke SO DONT BUY IF YOU DONT WANT A LAUGH HOW REALLY BAD THIS GAME IS I give it a 7.6/10 for the effort it is trying to pull LOVE THE BURRITO MASTER lol im still dying with laughter how interesting this game is and how lazily designed it is! and this game is short not even 15 levels for 13 bucks give me a break! THIS GAME IS WORTH 38 CENTS lol or free for how its a trunk of hilarious activity going on in the pile of crap game!!! The videogame music isnt even synced LOL HOW TERRIBLE lol! LIKE I SAID BUY THIS GAME ONLY FOR A JOKE OR IF YOUR DRUNK at a french waffle house party!!!

My friend gave me this game as a joke-birthday present...

Crash Dummy is a side scrolling story rich platformer. The platforming mechanics are really good and the overall quality is high so it's definitely one to check out if you like platformers but I found the story a little hard to follow and there is a lot of it. You can easily skip it though if you like so you can get right into the action. This was originally released as a game called CID the Dummy. The story was more concise and it was a 3d platformer but for some reason it was removed and this version was launched. Don't get me wrong this is a really good side scrolling platformer but it was great as a 3d platformer. Anyway take a look at my video to see what it's like for yourself.. https://youtu.be/fMeliQsgwOs Check'n Games, providing you with as many Let's Play's as we can. Thanks for watching. Please like comment and subscribe.

这个游戏真的不错，画面感强烈，需要自己去摸索的通关技巧感觉还不错

“Did you see that?!” Wow, Where do I even start with this vile turd of a game? It is So utterly tedious to play. The way the mechanics are taught to you throughout the game feels patronising. In fact, every time a speech box appears it feels childish and patronising. And the mechanics themselves make the already annoying gameplay even more annoying. The way the dummy moves is so irritating. Precision jumping and landing is required in Crash Dummy, so why program the crash dummy to slide off platforms? Frequently you will fall through solid platforms, or grab onto ledges to find that you can’t jump up, even though the game requires you to jump UP to reach the next section of the game. Hand to hand combat is an absolute Joke, You won’t know whether your fist will just fly through your opponent or you’ll get lucky and it will connect. Just keep mashing the punch button and hope for the best until they go away, you will take damage I guarantee. Better yet, use the gun which at least is effective. What else? Fall Damage from a couple of ledges up, I kid you not. This guy can ram into walls at high speed but can’t jump off a high up ledge. And there are loads of times the crash dummy is required to jump off ledges to get from A to B! There are crates that require THREE hits to get through that are usually empty. Health pick ups that Disappear after a few seconds. Why?! Slow Slow SLOW ladder descending and ascending. Hundreds of white loading screens. The dummy saying “Did you see that?” about 10 times a minute in that horrific Wimpy voice. And he looks like such a wimp too!! I hate him! The levels just End from out of nowhere and it’s pure relief I feel rather than satisfaction. Oh, and the absolute worst worst thing, as if this game wasn’t bad enough. Imagine playing through ¾ of a level and you decide to pause the game to do something else? Well don’t, because pressing Pause sends you right back to the level select menu and you will lose ALL the progress you made! Seriously, What an Awful Annoying pile of festering garbage. The music sucks too. I stopped playing after the three disappearing platforms in the “ghosts and dummies” level – Worst game designing Ever. This is the least fun I’ve ever had with a platforming game. I’m 100% Serious when I say that Super Pitfall on the NES is a better game than Crash Dummy. BURN!

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