[h1] Spoilers, so if you plan on playing the game, please do so before reading :) [/h1]
I sacrificed my own mental health to FULLY play through this game. Me, along with two friends I was streaming to over discord, opened Wood Killer without any idea as to what this experience would be. It starts off with a glitchy intro, and then you're thrusted into game play without any instruction, though one can only assume that you're supposed to walk towards the big hotel in front of you. The beginning plays out as a classic indie horror game would. You're in the hotel, you see a figure running, and then it disappears. During all of this, there's no audio, which makes the experience just that much more underwhelming. Though, instead of following the little story you're given, after a few 'missions' (no idea what these are, just different areas of the game? hard to explain), you're suddenly being chased by a fire demon? He doesn't kill you though, he's actually quite a lovely fellow. Not sure if he was supposed to be a threat, but he just followed me around so I named him Harold :). Sadly I had to depart with Harold after another very glitchy cutscene, since now we were at a church graveyard. Let me tell you, I was in this area for around 20 minutes without a clue as to what I was supposed to do. Your goal was to get inside of the church, but there were two gates blocking you. The first one was easy to get past, you find a huge red grave with a key, and run up to the gate. The second one however was much different. The graveyard layout in this section was a lot more confusing, and once you manage to find the red grave for this section, there just isn't a key. Instead of finding a key, you have to find this huge black box thing and run along the walls of it until you somehow get inside. This is where the game goes from 'okay I guess this almost makes sense' to 'what the actual ♥♥♥♥'. Can't quite remember what happened inside of the weird room, but once you leave it, there's a random grave with a cross on it outside. My dumbass ran up to it, and then was teleported to a long hallway full of more Jesus coffins. I guess I was supposed to be running from something, but that didn't exactly happen. Instead, I ran up to a grave, was told to get in it by god knows who, and then layed down inside. That whole cutscene has no relevance though, because we're back in the graveyard, and this time we are able to just walk up to the church. One more glitchy cutscene, and you're inside the church. You don't have a flashlight, so the only light you have is the ominous glow somehow coming from your body. Along the walls there's notes(?) which I'm guessing were supposed to talk about the plot, but for the first 10 minutes, I only found notes written in Spanish and Russian, neither of which I'm fluent enough in to understand. After running around aimlessly, the screen goes bright orange and there's a black shadowy figure who starts running around. Odd, right? Well apparently this was explained, but I didn't realize that until my friend pointed out that I was walking by notes in English. Most notes were just mildly spooky journal entries, though some of them mentioned an elevator, as well as breaking the forth wall and talking about the game. The most helpful note though, was one that explained what bizarre things would be happening at the 10 minute intervals. At 10 minutes a demon runs around, at 20 pentagrams show up on your screen, at 30 a demon covers your screen, and at 40 a man yells at the front of the hall. I still didn't have audio, so that didn't change much. At 50 minutes a big shadow man starts praying, and finally, after an hour of pure, blinding hell, an elevator shows up to let you escape. As you can imagine I was relieved to escape, but one thing was scaring me a bit. The fact that one of the notes detailed the game closing itself after an hour. I'm guessing by hour it meant after an hour of running around the church, not an hour after playing the game itself, since I had already been playing for over an hour and 30 minutes. All of the events take place as the note stated, and after the big shadow man stops praying, an elevator shows up and teleports me to the woods. I was to happy to finally be out!..... and then the game closes itself :'). I reopened it, expecting to see a 'the end' or 'lol you payed money for this' screen, but instead the game just restarts, this time with audio. No idea if the audio is your reward for torturing yourself, or if my game was just glitched. Now, do I recommend this game? No, not unless you're VERY bored and have a group of friends willing to entertain you while you slowly descend into insanity. However, it was kinda fun looking back at how bad the game was, and I did enjoy myself. If you do want to play a dumb, not so scary game though, this one is absolutely perfect! If you have time to kill, I'd say go for it! 3/10 game, 7/10 experience, but 10/10 birthday gift :)
