10/10 AMAZING GAME
I've only played for only a few minutes but the experience has been transcending so i must write my review right now. So that when in the future, people look back at this steam page and see the reviews to this fabled masterpiece, my review will be the first and I will be renowned as a true connoisseur of art in its purest form!
Let me begin my 5 part review with how the sound was designed. The choice of a porn background track really set the mood for the game, org-as-mic is indeed how anyone would feel after playing this piece of art, risky move on the developer's part but one that is entirely understandable. The promise of ROCK on the store page also did not disappoint, it brought me to tears and made me rethink all the bands I've listened to before before ranking them as sh*t compared to this beauty. The sound effects sounded like they were custom recorded for this particular game, none of this stock sh*t. The sound of the yeti walking sounds exactly like someone walking on a floor covered in used, half filled condoms and I wholeheartedly believe that the developer recorded this in his own house after having sex with the thousands of women waiting in line.
The art is unique, I'll say that looking like the yeti myself made me feel a lot more connected with this game on an emotional level but the level design ensured each area was its own and couldn't ever be mistaken for another. The landmarks, each more exquisite than the last could be considered gallery pieces in themselves.The style could be considered minimalist by lesser minds but the absence of colour allows our minds to fill in the blanks and truly connect with this game. The UI has an interesting approach as well being very bold and in your face. I feel that describing this further would hinder your appreciation of this monument to art so I will stop here and not embarrass myself further.
The controls take the Apple way of thinking when it comes to simplicity. You click where you want to go and click with any other button to perform one of many actions such as bash, swing, hit, club and boop. Attempting to press any keyboard key will result in the game telling you that you are a lesser being for trying anything else. This game also has a save and load function with custom names so that you can save before you hit an enemy and name it as one of your many saves that will create fond memories you can relive over and over again.
In terms of performance, the game really stretched my computer. It started with a notice telling me that my audio was inadequate. I have to admit I cheated a bit here, I couldn't afford the 10k speakers this brilliant game requires so I modified my system so that it would seem like I had better speakers. The graphical performance really stretched my computer as mentioned above leading me to have stutters and dropped frames. Nothing but the latest I9 and RTX graphics cards will do.
Finally I will conclude my review with praise for the developer's way of ensuring I know I am a lesser human being for having attempted this masterpiece. When I first tried to skip over the level by simply running to the end like a coward, the game stopped me and wouldn't let me past without taking out some guards, I killed one to fake some honour but the game saw right through it and promptly crashed to kick me out and tell me I'm nor worthy. On the second level, I again attempted to sneak past the guards and this time it crashed my entire system so that I was made aware I had angered it and should not play it until I have cultivated some honour.
For now, I will train and practice being honourable so that I can come back to this beautiful piece of art in future to attempt to complete it.
Thank you to the developer for sharing this miracle with me and I hope others get it too lest they'd rather miss out on this cultural milestone.
