SpaceCorn

First off, the kids who made this game need to learn how to spell. But seriously, disregard the positive reviews (or better yet, read them as a warning). I bought it because I want to play real text adventures on Steam, and it was really cheap. So I decided to see what it was all about, warnings aside. It was NOT worth it. Not worth my money, not worth my five minutes. How did this even get onto Steam in the first place? Anyway, this game doesn't warrant a real review. It was troll trash.

If you're wondering why the game is so janky, has a bunch of dead ends and most anti-virus software flag it as potentially harmful, there's a very simple reason for that: the game is a Windows Command Prompt batch script wrapped into an executable file with a tool called batch2exe, then packaged inside a dropper that places the file in your temp folder and runs it, which is in turn packed with UPX. All of that together makes it seem like a very suspicious file for any anti-virus with a heuristic scanner. I'll get more into the tech side of things later, but first... [h1][u]The actual game[/u][/h1] So, I have a thousand odd games in my Steam library, and this will be the first one that I'll request a refund on. The game is technically just plain bad: there are a bunch of dead ends, some definitely unintentional (the "main menu" has menu entries you can't return from, for instance), the text parser is horrible (because it's just a batch script with a bunch of if X goto Y statements) and the actual story is nothing but horrible memes and stupid, unfunny humor. Even if this were technically proficient, this wouldn't be worth your time. The game is apparently also [url=http://www.desura.com/games/spacecorn]free on Desura[/url] and the [url=https://code.google.com/p/spacecorn/]Google Code repository[/url] (that the devs are using as a file storage, unsurprisingly. I'd have been genuinely surprised if they'd used any kind of SCM for this horrible mess) has about a half of the game playable for free, and also the source code, so you can see for yourself just what it takes to make a game like this (not much). [h1][u]More tech babble[/u][/h1] So, like I said, the game is just a ~1000 line BAT-file, that uses nothing but echo, pause and goto statements to make the game... "work", but this isn't exactly true. It also uses incredible tricks like [b]pinging localhost to create timed pauses[/b]. This game is almost facinating in how horrible it is, technically. I'm entirely certain the devs have spent more time packaging it into the double packed final exe-file it is and making sure it works on Steam than they have on the acutal game "engine". If you want to take a peek at the games source code, here's how: [olist] [*] Launch the game [*] Navigate to your temp folder (Win+R and type in %TEMP%, for instance) [*] look for the 2 latest created folders, with names like 12EF.tmp (so four hexadecimal numbers and .tmp) [*] One will contain an executable b2e.exe, this is not what you want, the other one will contain a file called batchfile.bat [*] Make a copy of batchfile.bat, because quitting the game deletes both the b2e.exe and the original batchfile.bat. [*] Quit the game. [/olist] [h1][u]tl;dr[/u][/h1] A 1000 line BAT-file with horrible memes and techical problems, your AV will probably flag it as a virus, which isn't far from the truth. 4/20 blaze it :weed:

"As you get closer, you hear moans, it appears to be some troll with three penises echo having gay butt sex with a doctor, his name plate reads 'Doctor Zero'" Don't buy this game

paid 0,99€ for this "game" got cards for 1,25€ sold them on market and got money back. EZ MONEY

@ .99 cents its not a terrible price, but most people would probably want to wait for a sale. The game is joke plain and simple, the first things you encounter are a tv playing ♥♥♥♥♥♥ porn, and a desk with dildos on it, so be prepared for dirty humor. I did slightly enjoy exhausting all the dead ends to see how far they would push each joke, but none went very deep. Not much else to say about it really, and this review is already longer than any walkthru could possibly be for the game so I'll end it wih this, if you feel like spending 10 minutes or so burning thru a bit of simple crude humor, enjoy scratching your head at all the misspellings, i.e. 'buttler'

This game is filled with immature jokes and the overused and unfunny space unicorn meme. This game is probably the least funniest game ive ever played ever. It tries too hard and says everyone is having sex with everyone. The 5 minutes ive played of this game have been the worst in my life. Usually im one for immaturaty but this is just 9 year old playground ♥♥♥♥. Never make another game. This game is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ horrible. PS: No matter how cheap this game gets and how much you want to try a text based game. DO NOT BUY THIS GAME!

[h1] PINK UNICORN... what is this doing in my library?! [/h1]

Short bad choose-your-own-adventure. You get a description and a few options how to proceed. The plot is neglible and full of juvenile humour. It has ~60 messages totalling ~250 lines of description (about 5 pages of printed text). Most fanfic is longer and better written. Seriously, this gives text adventures a bad name. [b]This should be free, it's not worth money at any price. I'm getting a refund.[/b] [i]This "game" is a 32kB batch file packaged as an .exe. It's all there if you open it in a proper editor.[/i] [i]Easter Egg: Enter "[spoiler]itseaster[/spoiler]" as password.[/i]