Shitty Cactus

A truly ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Cactus game. Sometimes bad can have its charm! [h2]You're a cactus, and you jump [/h2] Your goal is to reach a great height. You're a cactus, and via very simple platforms you hop up. Scattered throughout the climb you'll find little clouds, when jumped upon it creates a layer of clouds, providing room for a bit of falling. There are also coins to be found. They can be spent on skills for mobility, survivability, platform width and frequency of coins. [h2]This is a bad game! [/h2] Why the hell do I give a thumbs up then? Well, I kinda enjoyed it. I let a friend play this (yes I'm a bastard), and multiple times he fell down just shy of our goal which killed the cactus! The times we got close brought such excitement! It trivals a good horror! But sometimes I can just enjoy silly games. When I was young we had an Atari 1600 with a '32 in 1'. Those games were horrible, yet I still put some time in each and every one of them. Now I don't enjoy ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Cactus out of nostalgic reasons, I just had a good time with this. Try this one if you happen to own it, but for the love of God don't purchase this. [table] [tr] [td] [i]More reviews at [url=https://store.steampowered.com/curator/39546715/]Omnivore Gamer[/url], games that are easy to control (for handicapped gamers). [/i][/td] [/tr] [/table]

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I love this game more than anything in the world, it is a part of my very being.

Мужики, спасайте, если наберём 10 лайков и 5 наград, то жена подарит ящик пива

S****y Cactus is a joke game/Unity Asset flip of a basic platformer with a "grumpy" cactus theme. Yeah, it's as garbage as the premise sounds. I think this trash only exists to prove that game developers can give a name to a game that Valve thinks is perfectly fine, but that Valve will punish reviewers for if they review it and mention the name. I mean, like, WTF. Anyway this got dumped into DailyIndieGame bundles as part of a cash grab, so while it's fine to have a joke, trying to gouge money from it isn't so fine, so screw this. Also in case there's any confusion, this joke game has no merits as a serious game and can't be recommended to anyone.

There just isn't enough variety here for it to be worth your time, even with it being free. It's essentially a Doodle Jump clone but lacks enemies and items. The platforms not being one-way seems odd (you can't jump through the bottom of them) and contributes to the next point: it feels fairly clunky. The jumping often has be lined up too precisely, and upgrading the speed and jump makes it feel worse. I like the art - the cactus is quite cute. This feels like a solid start to a project but needs more work to be fun/satisfying in addition to more content.

Very cactus friendly Game.

[h1]Before I played ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Cactus, I had a small pp, no friends, no gf, depression, and no life. These things havent changed, but the game is pretty good[/h1]

This could have been a fun little game. It works well, except for the rather finicky jumping, has minimal but crisp graphics and acceptable audio, even offers a way to upgrade your cactus further. It's on par with free to play early day mobile offers. But this [i]isn't[/i] a mobile game, it's offered on Steam for over $2, and that's just far too expensive. After doing some research I found out several things: [list] [*] you can get the [url=https://github.com/ketzu/♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥]full source code on Github[/url], posted by the author [*] or you can download the full version for free from the [url=http://cactus.♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.com/download/]official website[/url] [*] there's even [url=https://medium.com/@ketzu/the-♥♥♥♥♥♥-cactus-journey-49f4f191051b]a blog post on Medium[/url] detailing development of this game [*] that blog post also tells us why the game is on Steam in the first place: because the author wanted it to be [*] it does [i]not[/i] tell us however how he got to the conclusion it should cost as much as it does [*] it [i]does[/i] tell us the author lost money from releasing on Steam [/list] Gee, I wonder why.