It's been a long hard week and I'm tired, bored and worst of all horny. I decided walking through the sleazy part of town that this club called Private Dance looked a little more upmarket than say most of the others who usually had the words sluts and ♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the business name.
So I enter, it's a dizzying array of pink on pink and I don't mean what the girls were showing. A little Asian woman asks for Twenty dollars and tells me there is a forty dollar minimum on drinks. I say that I probably won't be drinking that much to which she replies it's only two drinks, mister.
So she shows me a table the place is empty and no wonder with what they charge, I hate to think what a lap dance would cost, probably my arm and also my leg. Anyway, I sit down and a cute little thing in a pink negligee comes up to me and asks what am I drinking. I decide I'll have a Jack might as well make it worthwhile for twenty dollars.
Then she tells me that the girls will be walking out soon and if I don't like the look of them click the huge next button by the catwalk floor. I think this is strange for a strip club this is more like a ♥♥♥♥♥ house. I ask but what about anyone else don't they get a say? She replies with a giggle, no honey you'll be the only one here tonight and she quickly glides to the bar.
I'm thinking this is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ strange, I come out to relax and now I'm more ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stressed than before. Soon a girl appears from behind the curtain, she's tall, slim with fake tits and a slightly unusual walk. I click next, she was blonde I've always been a brunette kind of guy.
So a few more have come and gone, none to my liking as of yet. When all of a sudden a brunette walks out, the kind of chick that makes your heart pound as soon as they look at you. The waitress comes back, you like this one eh?
I replied yeah I do. She tells me to point my finger at the girl and a laser light comes out with a heart on the end.
The waitress tells me to click with my finger on the girl and she will do a private dance for me. I click and next thing I know I'm in a very pink backroom. What is it with this place and pink I think, the girl is looking at me and then she starts to dance.
Now I have had lap dances before, you could say I'm a connoisseur of lap dances. But what I experienced here was totally off this planet. In fact, so far off this planet and right on a planet called retarded.
The girl danced like she had a corkscrew up her arse like her nappies were full and Mum hadn't changed them yet. I tried not to laugh but I felt like I had just walked into a special school on feel the beat day.
Worse was to come, she removed her top and her boobs had what looked like armpits attached to the top. I do not know why but snuggling into a nice firm boob only to sniff someones BO was not what I was after.
I left, the Asian woman asked if I was ok and I replied I wouldn't even pay four dollars fifty AUD for this pile of VR rubbish.
