It feels like every time I recommend a game it always comes with some kind of huge caveat, and Pachi Pachi On A Roll is no exception. I initially saw this game as I was scouring the PS3 store for some classic titles during "The Great Closure Debacle of 2021" and it caught my eye. I mean... the two female leads caught my eye, but the idea of a pachinko and pinball hybrid had me intrigued. Considering Sony's stance on censorship, I wishlisted the Steam version, and one 30% price drop later I finally jumped in. What I got was... good. But also... not so good? Let me explain.
Pachi Pachi has you placed into one of four levels, each with its own theme, where you're tasked with playing pachinko in order to complete pinball-style missions and chase high scores. These missions vary from hitting certain objects with the ball, to destroying ones that block your way, and even some collecting elements are thrown into the later levels. However, the game's biggest draw is the ability to strip the two main characters, Robin and Fujiko, of different articles of clothing as you whittle your way through 3-star pegs that require multiple hits. Destroy all of them on the side that features the respective girl you're looking to undress, and you'll complete that mission on top of getting some eye candy. Let's be real, this is the reason everybody but the most dedicated casino-dwellers bought this game. Both girls are curvy, stacked, moan when you remove pieces of their clothing, and can be fully stripped after the most recent patch. There's no point in hiding this fact, the game's about boobs first and pachinko second. That said, there was a lot more here to enjoy than I first expected.
The actual gameplay itself, while simple, turned out to be surprisingly fun. Your typical pachinko fare, but fun nonetheless. You drop your ball from a moving crane arm, hoping to hit certain pegs or objects as it bounces down into different slots. The first level was relatively easy and had me concerned that there'd be no challenge when I found myself completing missions without even realizing what I was meant to be doing. However, the difficulty did ramp up later, to the point where the final level ended up causing some frustration due to the placements of hazards and the frequency they change how they're interacted with. There's also a mini-game element in some levels where meeting certain criteria will open up a unique side game, allowing you to increase your score. Nothing major, just a Breakout clone, some canon shooting game, etc. For the most part you'll just be dropping balls, completing missions to get more balls to drop, and trying to get a high enough score to unlock the next level.
Speaking of the levels, I mentioned earlier they were themed, which actually plays a pretty big role in how missions are tackled. The first level is a standard casino that serves to teach the player the basics of the general gameplay and not much else. As you move on, you'll get a western theme complete with a revolving cylinder that fires off bullets, and a passing train that starts a mini game when you get the balls into all the carriages. The space theme was my favorite, having you hit satellites to turn the asteroids into pegs, avoiding black holes and destroying UFOs. However, the aforementioned, medieval-themed final level was way more irritating than it had any reason to be. Vines that block your path and regrow when you lose enough balls, monster hands that constantly get in the way and grab your ball, tentacles that knock it away from where you wanted it to fall... it was just a mess. But I powered through and completed everything! Well... sort of.
That segue brings me to the negatives, and unfortunately there's quite a few of them. For starters, the game touts Robin and Fujiko as some kind of Lupin-esque master criminals, but absolutely nothing about the game indicates this. So if you're hoping for some semblance of story, you're only gonna find it in the game's description. Bug are also pretty prevalent, with odd physics in the mini-games, glitches that occasionally get your ball stuck, a weird fanfare that seems like it's meant to give extra points but just soft locks you from playing until it ends, and I even had a "crash" that booted me back to the main menu right as I was about to finish the infamously terrible final level for the first time. But my most hated bug of all, which seems to be a recurring issue with a lot of smaller Steam games, is that we have a bugged achievement. Not just that, but one that the developer was supposedly looking into fixing and has all but forgotten about several months later. It's why I now have yet another (assumed) permanently incomplete game on my profile. It seems the leaderboards are bugged too, showing only the first level's scores for everybody. Though it says I'm #12 worldwide so... go me, I guess? Couple all this with a short overall experience and a slightly-too-high price tag, and Pachi Pachi is gonna be a hard sell for most people, sex appeal or not.
I really want to dunk on this game, but the truth is I actually had a really good time. Despite the problems, I found my biggest gripe in the end was that it was over too soon. There are definitely worse issues that a game can have than leaving the player wanting more. I felt it deserved at least some attention since there was some effort put in. It's why I'm recommending it in the end. If you can look past the price and minor annoyances, it's a fun little time-waster that I'll probably revisit now and then.
