[h1][b][i]Requiem[/i][/b][/h1]
We found this weird smol thing in 2015. Almost at death’s door, but he somehow pulled through. Silly little thing, we did not know what you had in store for us, did we?
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3636719162
We gave him a powerful name, [b]MuLo[/b], big balls in the ancient language. Over the years, his meowing drove me crazy, as did the stank from his Poop X Piss combo, man was a living Geneva Convention violation. But, I was his tsundere—despite wanting to slap the catnip out of him and his crazy antics, I loved him.
At an early age, he visited our holiday getaway farm in the south. Before this trip, not once did he step outside... As soon as we got there, bam, every morning, a different tail—[b]man had game.[/b] And somehow he didn’t get clapped by the hunting dogs neighbours let roam at night. Truly a menace, the [i]City Pretty Boy[/i] as he was dubbed by the local ladies from that day on.
But this was temporary, and our city home was calling! He was flat-bound once more, unable to stretch his balls far and wide. He mostly let them hang from our terrace, letting the ladies know what they were missing out on.
Then came his first outing after a dry few years. He didn’t pull tail, instead, he somehow got his ass cracked. Did someone not like the way he shook his money maker and threw a rock at him in envy? We will never know. He managed to drag himself to our garden door and meowed the ♥♥♥♥ out of his tiny cat lungs, to let us know he hurt. So, for a time, he couldn’t shake it anymore, very sad times indeed. But after he healed, he had a very funky looking butt, very unique, very him, but sturdy.
Sadly, he was now once more, flat-bound—grandma just couldn’t see him go through such pain again. But it seems he may have listened to too many red-pilled cats, because the next time he went out… [i]oof[/i]
It all started nice, he managed to get a lady and show her his very own garden. The courting was high quality, he went around her, touched her tail with his, even meowed at her, all the best hits. But she must not have been impressed as he came back with a “black” eye (scratched eye technically, but just go with it for joke)—[b]man tried to go second base too fast it seems.[/b]
So, since he was mega horny while being injured, the silly bastard wanted to go out… Ah, silly little idiot he was. Anyway, he healed, and in the summer of 2024, he went to a nice little summer gateway location, to breathe in some fresh air and once more do cat stuff he couldn’t do in the flat.
Since he is a big balls sexy butt city cat, everyone wanted a piece of him. But only one lady was meant for him. Sadly, tragedy struck—she was yeeted to cat hell by a jealous cat, cat-Satan. So, for love, he made the ultimate sacrifice and went to hell to save his lady.
On his way to her, he employed everything we taught him—from john wick-like pistol handling, to sniping demon cats with a shotty and making em go boom with his boom stick! He was also versed in the [i]otaku arts[/i], handling the katana as if it were an extension of his paw. Truly a master of death.
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3636762702
So, possessing this particular set of skills, he made way through the 10 layers of cat hell, slicing and exploding weird cat demons along the way. For some reason, the berserker cat demons ate more bullets than regular cat demons, but fart when killed. Dunno what that is about.
Anyway, he managed to reach cat-Satan, and spank his butt right out of hell. He saved his lady friend. But surprise—[b]cat-Satan had a brother, mega-cat-Satan![/b] There was still more work to be done! More cat demons to slay. Can one cat slay the mega-cat-Satan? Well, good thing he had a partner in crime for the demon culling games! They cleared the next 3 layers with the power of love (and explosions!).
Upon reaching mega-cat-Satan’s lair, the pair had to be smart and ruthless in their execution. With the help of his lady's glowing aura, he was shielded from the nasty mega-cat-Satan’s attacks, managing to bombard him with big booms! After a lot of [b]BOOMS![/b], mega-cat-Satan went [b]KA-BOOM![/b]
Victory, and finally, he could get back to living his best life. But he didn’t read the train ticket when he jumped after his love—[b]this was a one way trip.[/b] They were never gonna return, forever bound to the afterlife. But, through his big balls, he and his lady friend became the new rulers of cat hell. I’m proud of him, he was a good cat.
Thank you, MuLo, for all your weird moments and for annoying me—we miss you.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, it seems my ceiling is leaking, weird…
[b]May you reign cat hell with an iron but fair paw![/b]
https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3636915260
[b]RIP MuLo, 2015-2024[/b]
[i]Big balls; an even bigger heart.[/i]
[i]To all who made it this far, if you seek even more divine knowledge and big balls, then follow the faith preached in the [url=https://store.steampowered.com/curator/40407656/]Gospel of Sv. Prolivije.[/url] Also followers receive free dental care and 2 weeks of paid vacation.
