This is not just a prison game, but it might as well function as an actual prison, and not only am I doing time, which is a few hours, but I'm also spending $14.99 to do the time. I was a man named Ed Amigo from the South Block, and I was thrown into the slammer because I apparently had "disturbed the peace" and it seemed like the prosecution in the case was apart of the U.S. military, so I must have done some terrible things to be sent to this ♥♥♥♥ show. When I arrived at the prison, the same prosecution was sitting on the toilet in a random cell, telling me that I was processed, which means the hell has just begun. For whatever reason, an officer named Officer Leamont wanted to follow me. Not seeing why not, I decided to let him, and shortly after, another inmate named Harry Horn had asked to join the Locos. He seemed like an intelligent man, so I decided to let him in. He didn't waste any time, immediately undressing and showing off his tattoos, which I assumed he drew with a sharpie due to how fast they appeared. I was shortly after scolded by a man whos name I forgot already, due to me letting Harry in. I decided to get a move on, and I decided to meet some of my fellow inmates. One inmate who caught my eye was a man named Jack Union. He caught my eye because for whatever reason he was jumping around like the forgotten Mario brother. I talked to him and asked to be friends, which was met with him straight up just bullying me. Ouch. Shortly after, a fight broke out between one of my fellow Locos and a woman named Hallie King. I was getting ready to help my amigo by picking up a taser, but for whatever reason a man named Spit Roast started talking about how happy he was to be in the South block, which distracted me and caused me to electrocute him, though despite it being in front of an officer, I got off the hook. I then had to beat Spit Roast's ass for real though because he was trying to fight Emil, which was the guy whos name I forgot. I only knew about this because the stalkerish croud of people gasping and yelling "bullish" over and over. I ate a steak I found in someone's cell, and it didn't take long for a man named Bruce O'Lay to call me out for stealing his steak. I responded to this by setting the table he was sitting at on fire. The same police officer who witnessed me electrocute Spit Roast saw this, and still did nothing, so I assumed I was in good hands. After this, a man named Tenryu Mist had accused me of "Not getting the memo that it wasn't cool to be skilfull." First of all, that makes no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ sense, but whatever. I then received a phone call from a mysterious person, who was claiming to be the one who locked me up, and was gonna "make it painfully clear" who they were. My character responded by going insane, deciding to ATTACK A MAN WEILDING AN AXE. Luckily, I survived, but unfortunately, not for long. As I made my way back to the South Block, I had accidentally done the same Mario jump that Jack Union did earlier, and fell down the stairs. I call for help, reaching my arm out for anyone to grab and save me, but instead of being saved, I was offered tissues by Harry Horn, as he claims I "look like I need them more than he does." I eventually passed away, but making sure I had accepted his offer before I did so.
10/10, would disturb the peace again
