Gabe Newell Simulator

Honestly, I don’t even know why I played and I’m never gonna get that time back -2/10

GOTY

Agreeing to play this game, I was able to negotiate my freedom with the CIA from a 30-40 year "psychological experiment". On balance, just about worth it!

meu amigo me deu de presente, ele não é mais meu amigo.

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It's bad. It would be one thing if it was truly a gag game with a ton of stupid easter eggs and secrets, but it's not outside the first and last levels (which you need to restart the game to play). It's a barely playable shooter as your mouse cursor remains always on screen and may frequently send the game into background. Frustrating. Level 5 (i think) is the only vaguely competently made level. Full of glitches and crashes. Many collectibles are unable to be picked up at all. Levels 2-7 have no bearing on the story or contain silly references, they are exclusively mediocre. Many rooms contain nothing at all, neither pickups or enemies, just wasted space full of stock assets. The game has a built-in grenade function, but there are no grenades! Why? Even the built-in clicker game is as bare-bones of a clicker game I've ever played, it's missing more than you thought possible from a clicker. The Portal DLC is also bad, not because the mechanics don't work, but because there's no content; it's basically empty. 2/10 - like half life, portal, and team fortress, it will never go above a 2

Mouse isn't locked to the sights so can fly off to your other monitor/across the screen, bland (possibly stock textured) areas with almost nothing to find, 0 incentive to fight enemies and not just run as they drop nothing and can even block the way when killed, and on top of everything it's based off an old joke from early 2000's that's just not funny anymore. Thought I might get some enjoyment out a random ♥♥♥♥♥♥ game I knew was bad, but wasn't even funny bad. Just bland. Honestly would not be surprised if the ending cutscenes and music are just taken from random youtube videos, basically no original content worth seeing if so.

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