EDIT: I forgot to mention, this game is 100% controller compatible. I beat the entire game using a controller, and got the true ending.
I had high hopes for Emma Adventure. The best part of the sequel game, 100-Level Dungeon, was its dialogue. The hilariously terrible grammar and spelling combine with a totally nonsensical plot made for a genuinely hysterical time; indeed, I might go so far as to say it made the horrendously boring slog of the battles almost worth it!... Though just [i]almost[/i].
When I learned that this game contained no battles, I was over the moon! An entire adventure driven just by the ingeniously inscrutable text of 100-Level Dungeon!? Sign me up! But it wasn't all cynicism and mockery; 100-Level Dungeon's dialogue, while definitely weak (to put it overly generously), felt like it was written with some genuine heart. I was genuinely excited to see an adventure that was entirely narrative-driven, even if it was just to see what insane nonsense happened.
However, I then actually played the game. Oh boy, where do I even start? The game opens with a choice for "easy" mode and "hell" mode, already a rocky sign for a game with no battles, only to reveal that literally the only change between modes is that in "hell" mode, you are not able to save the game (verified this in editor). After that violet reality check, the game opens up with our character Emma asking, "What time is it?" and deciding that she kinda doesn't care, actually, and she just wants sausages. Being an observant player with terrible things like object permanence, I remember that she asked what the time was, and head over to the clock to read it... only to have the clock fall on me and kill me instantly. After dying, I start the game up again and have to go through the entire frustratingly long opening cutscene before I get control. Once I do, I avoid the clock and go to leave my room, only to leave 1 tile too high and get crushed by the lamp on the wall. After I get crushed by two cabinets, a log, and some weed leaves, it becomes painfully apparent that our heroine Emma is just the most unlucky person in the entire world, and literally everything, animate or not, is out to kill her for no discernible reason. Literally no reason, it's never mentioned in the narrative (To be pedantic, it is mentioned once, but it's not directly referenced in any satisfactory way).
This is where pretty much all of my potential enjoyment with this game died. The constant, frustrating instant deaths are a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ chore, and the saves are sparse enough that every time you die, you will be forced to retread several frustrating rooms full of instant death spam, and that's before the game decides that it's going to get frisky and introduce puzzles into the mix. Just to not leave it unsaid, I had this game open in the editor the entire playthrough. It's even more necessary for this game than 100-Level Dungeon because of all the [i]enormous[/i] maps filled with inconsistently telegraphed instant death, as well as other traps you'd have no way of seeing coming. It's most fun near the end game, where the game starts making reverse traps, randomly having the well-established trap tiles be safe, and the well-established safe tiles be traps, often times on the same screen as the original version of the traps with no indication that the switch is coming.
Every part of this game is an absolute chore. From the forest maze, a frustrating abomination of an area where every room looks the same, there's no decernable layout, and warps are not two-way, to the gauntlet of 5 frustrating ice path puzzles in a row, to the late game's barrage of gargantuan plains filled with instant death traps, forcing you to navigate this invisible perfect line, it's just isntant death spam all the way down with this one. It's not even wasted potential; it's just, why even make this?
That's not the worst part, though; For whatever reason, the dev felt that making their game [i]just[/i] full of instant death wasn’t enough, and decided to go all out, including a true ending! Getting the illustrious “Good Ending” isn’t exactly complex; it’s basically a fetch quest, but the game makes almost no effort to guide you on it, and it hides the first part of the quest all the way at the start of the game in the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ forest maze.
As this game goes, I can’t recommend it. Even as a connoisseur of garbage, nothing can save this game. While the dialogue is still as unintentionally funny as ever, the gameplay is just so much worse than even 100-Level Dungeon. Not even playing it with friends helps, as a huge part of the game is just pausing the game, taking screenshots, and reading event scripting for an hour or two as you thoroughly plan out your route through whatever ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ the game has thrown at you now.
As some final thoughts, though, it was nice seeing the party from 100-Level Dungeon cameo in this game. It was sorta endearing, being part of the reason that party came together. The little bits of continuity almost make me hope to see Jonathan.S return to this world for another game, maybe one that’s good, even.
