[TLDR: Needs improvement]
Before we begin, I'd thought I'd try a new way of reviewing, giving my initial reaction, so I wrote my live reaction in a bullet point :)
- 4.70 something gb, game must be good
- wtf the shoes color, why this game wants me to go barefoot but i can't go naked wtf
- why can't i go naked
- why do i have to use Tinder, I want the authentic experience not the tinder experience I can do that irl
- $25 TO USE TINDER? HUH
- What is this, gta?
- I can't even leave my house
- Unrealistic, I don't own my own property and own a car, why do i have a 1945 Corolla
- I can push the car?
- How do I have not money
- map so confusing why can't i have dora the explorer show me where to go
- Unrealistic, I wouldn't be working at construction. I'd be unemployed why can't games be more realistic
- Finally a match, a 31 year old lady
- said 3 things and she wants to meet face to face, I feel like either I wrote this game or the devs found my diary and based the game off this dafuq
- didn't ask where to meet, just said let's go face to face
- I didn't know I had to click a button and I thought game froze, so I restarted the game
- I just want to be rejected by 1 girl, is that too much to ask?
- Unrealistic boss and job, I did 3 tasks and got out within 5m
- I see there's a tinder shop where you can buy personality, financial status, hobbies, negative hobbies (whatever that is), food preference....why
- Real talk, whos gonna spend more money to see what your date's financial status or food preference
- my car got stuck, where's AAA?
- I guess without any words Ik where Jess lives, smart idea. who really goes to someone's house on the 1st date
- Finally the moment I've been waiting for
- WTF She told me to ♥♥♥♥ OFF And gave me $200 to buy clothes?! The being poor I get but giving me money? Another unrealistic thing
- She also survived my multiple attempts at running her over with my car, also unrealistic
- going into town, I see 1 singular lady jogging by slapping her breasts every step she makes.... what am I even doing here
- Ok I bought some goodwill shoes, lets try again
- "I'm going straight to the point, come to the address I gave you urgently, I'm waiting for you. It's out destiny." It's about time
- I love how we can push our cars out of holes, why didn't we think of this idea a hundred years ago?
- "Lets go eat something there are things I want to talk to you about" oh COME ON
- shes walking 3 feet submerged in the ground... with her foot the size of my keyboard
- Why is Snoop Dogg here in the only place to eat in this town?
- More importantly, why is there a anime girl looking maid (No seriously, its all pixelated and everything looking like an anime) While my date looks less detailed
- So Snoop Dogg is the waiter, alright
- Finally we get to talk, apparently the big issue is my hobbies?
- There's no pressure washing or watching paint dry hobby, Unrealistic
- These dates are terrible, they belittle you, and yet pay your food bill and give you money?
- Now I have to buy furniture UGH
- I can't even push my car into water and commit insurance fraud. I can't believe it
- I got stuck, and you can only save when you sleep :)
- [redacted sentence] [redacted] FULL OF [redacted sentence] [redacted] [redacted] [hi I hope you're having a lovely day today :D] [redacted sentence]
Alright, Let's talk about the good: Snoop Dogg as the waiter and the anime girl looking maid chef. The buildings and terrain wasn't bad minus the stuck part.
The bad: Oh boy
1. I had skill issue interacting with things, like I couldn't get out the door, the interaction was confusing I couldn't escape or anything, I thought the game froze twice and I was stuck when I thought I was suppose to submit a text message.
2. The whole story seemed wack and dumb imo. Waking up one day and being like "I want things to be different" "let's use the dating app I installed yesterday". My dude you apparently own property with electricity allegedly and is complaining. You literally start with $0, so I don't know where the money is or anything. AND ON TOP OF THAT, A FULLY FUNCTIONAL CAR WITH UNLIMITED GAS. Bro idc if a door is missing, I would ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ daily drive that living tank for the rest of my life because gas is like $4 here.
3. Which brings me to my first problem: a job. As I said earlier, this is really unrealistic because as a certified unemployed basement dweller, You won't find me getting the j word around here folks (bad joke). But in all seriousness, what kind of job is this? You show up: Boss: ay I need you to do stuff around the zone
Me: Okay boss DOES 1 TASK Boss: you can go now thank you for yewr hard work (I tried a New York accent but that was so bad). Like what the heck. No wonder why I'm broke. The boss right there should fire me for not working, like I'm wasting THEIR MONEY and i'm the worker! Like that isn't fair. The tasks were terrible rate too, literally getting rejected by mean women got me more money in a short amount of time (more on this later) than actual working. WTF is this economy which brings me to
4. The Town. What kinda deserted place is this. I had a lady slapping her breasts every time she was jogging and keep in mind, I felt like she was jogging slowly of course. It's so empty, 1 town and nothing, I am assuming that's why I can afford land in the middle of nowhereville.
5. The gameplay. It didn't feel like a dating simulator, it felt like some poor man's version of 7 days to die. I honestly argue that 7D2D is a better dating simulator than this game if I'm going to be honest. There was a lack of customizability on the main char, which of course they want you to go to the shop for that, but honestly, if what they gave us was terrible at the start, I really didn't like this force of going to x or y because of that.
Ok, the moment you've been waiting for...
Look, I may not have much experience with women, but come on, even I can come up with a better love story than this. Heck I bet Twilight has a better love story dare I say it 😲
1st of all, Tinder? Are you fr? I know it's 2025 & all but, I don't want a tinder experience. I want to go to Cafes or idk libraries or clubs and meet people there. Try to awkwardly and shyly approach them. THAT'S THE DATING SIMULATOR I WANT, not this! & when I got matched (def pre-determined booo), they just trash talk you, make you feel bad about yourself, tell you to ♥♥♥♥ off and give you money! I mean sure that's happened irl a lot (minus the money part), but that's no excuse to force you through a boring tutorial to "Oh I need new clothes! I need furniture for my house!" Nah fam you hop back and start grinding again! I didn't want to deal with a tutorial longer than Desert Bus ngl. Also, $25 to try Tinder? If I had to pay $25 to consider a dating site (who would download a dating app in the first place), I wouldn't even bother. I'd rather put a sign on top of my head "Looking for gf will buy gold" while wearing a chicken outfit. That might get me more rizz than using a lame dating app tyvm. Also Who the heck wants to pay like $100 to like $600 (I can't remember) to see financial status, personality status, etc. That's really dumb imo.
I think it's more common sense to ask questions when you match, the first date. Instead we got "let's meet right now". AND ANOTHER THING, WHY IS THE TUTORIAL WOMEN GIVING YOU MONEY? Like after 30 seconds of swiping, they ask to see you and when you SHOW UP, they start belittling you for being too poor or broke and then leaving while giving you money. Shoot if that's how it happened, I'd be a millionaire by now. I wouldn't need this construction job, I'd just show up with duck tape clothes, (the duck tape is the clothes), take her to the woods with a hole tent and call it my home, and offer her bread like how poor Mickey Mouse was cutting that thin line of bread. Repeat for infinite profit.
