Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.
Modeled estimate, not a reported figure. How we estimate →
Discounts
Every price cut of more than 20% we have observed, in each market that quoted one, with this game's chart position on either side of it. These are episodes, not a model: a sale is one event, and one event cannot tell you what the next one will do.
Reviews, worldwide (the counter carries no country): 1/day in the week to Aug 27 → 1.43/day in the week after.
About
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for [just one more murder…] -Ecclesiastes 3:8
Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him...
Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, play the (magic?) flute, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?
Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.
Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.
Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.
Standalone Story – The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but its story can be played independently.
Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situations, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice – and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...
Nonsense – A style of humour reminiscent of the surreal, anarchic comedy of Monty Python. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)
Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.
Special thanks to SUPERHOT PRESENTS, whose support made this project possible.
Sums Steam only; PlayStation, GOG, Epic, Nintendo publish no volume signal, so the true total is higher by an unknown amount.
| Store | Price | Audience | Score | Chart | Est. revenue |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
SteamYou are here | $9.99 | 1.2Kreviews | 97% | — | $186.6K |
| $14.99 | 319ratings | 94% | — | not modelled | |
Engagement
Reviews
Themes across 131 recent reviews and how positive each mention is. A keyword signal, not full sentiment analysis.
Reviews
4毛钱的游戏挂卡还挣了5毛钱😀
All that running across half the screen to get stuff done and running back again makes the game quite boring, and so does the notion that you can skip all the gameplay by simply murdering everyone in sight. I have a hunch about the message the endings are trying to deliver, but it's not executed very well. Also, if you're on a laptop without a mouse, you'd miss an ending because of the controls.
Media
Related
Related
Price dynamics, follower growth, revenue and sales trajectories with interactive tooltips
This and every other Pro feature is free until October 20, 2026. A free account is all it takes.
For scale, across Steam · Top Sellers · Brazil over the last 30 days: the 26 chart moves that followed a price cut of more than 20% went a median of 7 places towards #1, and the 2,400 moves with no price cut behind them went 2 away. One store, one chart, one country — it is the only place we have enough observations to say even that.
Prices outside the United States have been collected since 6 August 2026 and chart positions since 19 July 2026, so a cut older than that has no market to compare and a market that joined later has no history yet. Nothing here is converted between currencies.
Genres
Stats
All-time low is the lowest price we've recorded for this game since we started tracking it.
Languages: English, French, German, Spanish - Spain, Portuguese - Brazil, Japanese, Traditional Chinese
| $2.99−70% |
| 23ratings |
| 76% |
| #237 |
| not modelled |
| $9.99 | — | — | — | not modelled |
| $4.49−70% | — | — | — | not modelled |
Matched by title — a reused name can pair the wrong games. * is a critic aggregate. Prices and positions are each store's United States storefront; Epic charts worldwide. Audience and Score too, except Steam's, which is worldwide.
Hours played at review time, across 131 reviews with recorded playtime.
positive critical· bar length = how often the theme comes up
Würde eig negatvie Bewertung geben wel ich nicht alle abstechen kann..... aber der jumpscare am anfang war genug für GOTY
Тут людей убивают.
Incredible writing and presentation, though a couple of steps were not very clear, but outside of them - extremely good.
Dusturbing lack of murders.
挺有趣一个游戏，可惜我对西方历史和宗教方面的知识不太了解，只能玩汉化版，很多搞笑点可能就没get到，不过即使当个点击类的解密游戏玩还是挺不错的，难度适中，是那种一眼看不出来解法但最后都能自己想出来的程度。游戏主题内容是类似油画的拼贴画形势加上古典乐，配合上各种雷霆台词有奇妙的化学反应，喜欢这种风格的可以尝试玩一下。
A simple and short point and click adventure, but the star of the show is an ingenious art style I have never seen before. It takes real world Renaissance paintings and mixes the beautiful scenery with the crazy characters and imagery found in those. The result is a Monthy Python-esque surreal adventure with a lot of laugh out loud moments. There are a few different endings (I got three) depending on how you solve the puzzles. I had to check a guide for 1 or 2 solutions that weren’t that straightforward. Or I didn’t read thoroughly. I love point and click adventures but I’m also kind of bad at them at times, so it could’ve been my fault.
点击解密游戏，cdk只要一块钱，无中文但指南里就有汉化，喜欢黑色幽默宗教笑话&文艺复兴时期美术音乐的有福了。
宗教関係、特にキリスト教保守系に全力で喧嘩売りにいってるゲームです。 ポイントクリックで基本的には要求されているアイテムや行動を取ればシナリオは進行していくんですが、主人公が正真正銘シリアルキラーなんでちょくちょく「それ本当に大丈夫？」っていうことをやらされます。 日本人の まともな感性で 常識と良識に従って シナリオを進めようとすると進め方が分からなくなる場面が結構あります。そして「ん？」っていうことが続いてわけがわからないんで攻略見て進め方知ると「んんんー？」となります。 ルネサンス期の絵画から人物などを拝借しているためアートワークは素晴らしいですし、使用されているBGMもバッハ、ベートーヴェンを筆頭に豪華絢爛なラインナップ。それら最高峰の優美な素材に最低の下世話で趣味の悪いトーク（しかしテンポだけはいい。悔しいことに）を乗っけて提供されたのがこのゲームです。 芸術の無駄遣いがひどい。 しかしゲーム進行は同じブラックジョークやネタを何度も擦らず、サクサクと話が進んでいくんで意外と呆れることもなく遊べて二桁時間もかからずにサクッとエンディングを迎えます。 歴史的な絵画や音楽の集合体にも関わらず、クリア後のストーリーの余韻なんかありません。スッと入ってササっと食って出る立ち食い蕎麦屋みたいなゲームです。 元ネタが分かってフフッってなる場所もあれば、なにこれ？っていうところもたくさんありますが、全部が全部理解する必要はないと思います。良い意味で時間潰しゲームです。 何なら会話のネタや言ってる意味はよく分からなかったけど背景美術に興味を持ったからリアルの美術館に絵を見に行く動機になったり、音楽を聴いてクラシックに興味を持ってもらえる契機になったらいいと思うんでサムズアップします。 これを遊んで少しでも美術やコンサートに興味を持つ人が増えたらいいなと思うのでここに推薦します。
Selling now
See how fast this game is selling right now — estimated copies and revenue per day from recent review growth.
Players by region
Where this game's players are, estimated from review languages.
Players also reviewed
The games this title's players most often review too — audience affinity.
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