Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.
Modeled estimate, not a reported figure. How we estimate →
Discounts
Every price cut of more than 20% we have observed, in each market that quoted one, with this game's chart position on either side of it. These are episodes, not a model: a sale is one event, and one event cannot tell you what the next one will do.
Reviews, worldwide (the counter carries no country): 1/day in the week to Aug 27 → 1.43/day in the week after.
About
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for [just one more murder…] -Ecclesiastes 3:8
Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him...
Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, play the (magic?) flute, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?
Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.
Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.
Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.
Standalone Story – The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but its story can be played independently.
Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situations, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice – and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...
Nonsense – A style of humour reminiscent of the surreal, anarchic comedy of Monty Python. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)
Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.
Special thanks to SUPERHOT PRESENTS, whose support made this project possible.
Sums Steam only; PlayStation, GOG, Epic, Nintendo publish no volume signal, so the true total is higher by an unknown amount.
| Store | Price | Audience | Score | Chart | Est. revenue |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
SteamYou are here | $9.99 | 1.2Kreviews | 97% | — | $186.6K |
| $14.99 | 319ratings | 94% | — | not modelled | |
Engagement
Reviews
Themes across 131 recent reviews and how positive each mention is. A keyword signal, not full sentiment analysis.
Reviews
I’ve always been quite interested in art, and I happened to see this series of games on sale, so I casually picked one up. Besides the game’s fun and interesting puzzles, what I enjoyed the most was the museum section, where you can click on each painting to appreciate it. I think this part is especially interesting for players who enjoy art. In addition, some of the dialogue in the game is quite humorous and witty, which adds a lot of fun to the overall experience. However, some of the game’s scenes are rather bloody, and the overall story is a little on the short side, which left me feeling somewhat unsatisfied. Overall, though, it’s still a pretty good game and definitely worth playing. :)
I'm glad a lot of people liked it but it wasn't for me. The puzzles were so convoluted I had to use a guide for most of it. They didn't make logical sense to me. There were funny parts, and the art direction was nice, but at the end of the game I felt more pissed that I wasted my time trying to get to the ending than I did satisfied that I finished it. And I got the 3 different endings. I would recommend this to someone who the comedy outweighs the gameplay, but if you are expecting the game to make any sense I'd say don't bother.
Media
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Related
Price dynamics, follower growth, revenue and sales trajectories with interactive tooltips
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For scale, across Steam · Top Sellers · Brazil over the last 30 days: the 26 chart moves that followed a price cut of more than 20% went a median of 7 places towards #1, and the 2,400 moves with no price cut behind them went 2 away. One store, one chart, one country — it is the only place we have enough observations to say even that.
Prices outside the United States have been collected since 6 August 2026 and chart positions since 19 July 2026, so a cut older than that has no market to compare and a market that joined later has no history yet. Nothing here is converted between currencies.
Genres
Stats
All-time low is the lowest price we've recorded for this game since we started tracking it.
Languages: English, French, German, Spanish - Spain, Portuguese - Brazil, Japanese, Traditional Chinese
| $2.99−70% |
| 23ratings |
| 76% |
| #237 |
| not modelled |
| $9.99 | — | — | — | not modelled |
| $4.49−70% | — | — | — | not modelled |
Matched by title — a reused name can pair the wrong games. * is a critic aggregate. Prices and positions are each store's United States storefront; Epic charts worldwide. Audience and Score too, except Steam's, which is worldwide.
Hours played at review time, across 131 reviews with recorded playtime.
positive critical· bar length = how often the theme comes up
A simple and short point and click adventure, but the star of the show is an ingenious art style I have never seen before. It takes real world Renaissance paintings and mixes the beautiful scenery with the crazy characters and imagery found in those. The result is a Monthy Python-esque surreal adventure with a lot of laugh out loud moments. There are a few different endings (I got three) depending on how you solve the puzzles. I had to check a guide for 1 or 2 solutions that weren’t that straightforward. Or I didn’t read thoroughly. I love point and click adventures but I’m also kind of bad at them at times, so it could’ve been my fault.
A really fun irreverent game. I highly recommend this if you want a silly funny adventure.
All that running across half the screen to get stuff done and running back again makes the game quite boring, and so does the notion that you can skip all the gameplay by simply murdering everyone in sight. I have a hunch about the message the endings are trying to deliver, but it's not executed very well. Also, if you're on a laptop without a mouse, you'd miss an ending because of the controls.
Art and murder. 10/10
Jeu très court, artistique, intelligemment bête et drôle.
Incredible writing and presentation, though a couple of steps were not very clear, but outside of them - extremely good.
4毛钱的游戏挂卡还挣了5毛钱😀
挺有趣一个游戏，可惜我对西方历史和宗教方面的知识不太了解，只能玩汉化版，很多搞笑点可能就没get到，不过即使当个点击类的解密游戏玩还是挺不错的，难度适中，是那种一眼看不出来解法但最后都能自己想出来的程度。游戏主题内容是类似油画的拼贴画形势加上古典乐，配合上各种雷霆台词有奇妙的化学反应，喜欢这种风格的可以尝试玩一下。
Selling now
See how fast this game is selling right now — estimated copies and revenue per day from recent review growth.
Players by region
Where this game's players are, estimated from review languages.
Players also reviewed
The games this title's players most often review too — audience affinity.
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