Pilfer from pirates, conspire with cardinals and perform miracles with an incompetent magician. The Procession to Calvary is a Pythonesque adventure game made from Renaissance paintings, and a spiritual successor to the critically acclaimed Four Last Things.
Modeled estimate, not a reported figure. How we estimate →
Discounts
Every price cut of more than 20% we have observed, in each market that quoted one, with this game's chart position on either side of it. These are episodes, not a model: a sale is one event, and one event cannot tell you what the next one will do.
Reviews, worldwide (the counter carries no country): 1/day in the week to Aug 27 → 1.43/day in the week after.
About
A time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for [just one more murder…] -Ecclesiastes 3:8
Huzzah! The holy war is over! Your oppressors have been vanquished, the churches of the Old God lay in ruin and thousands of innocent people have been murdered! But it's not all good news; the tyrant Heavenly Peter has escaped your clutches, and you have been tasked with the mission of finding him...
Your journey will take you through a richly detailed landscape built from hundreds of different Renaissance paintings. You will steal a ship, feed a donkey, compete in a talent contest, assist an inept street magician, sing, dance, play the (magic?) flute, poke a man's face, hunt for treasure and have a chat with Our Lord God Almighty... But will you find Heavenly Peter? And if you do, how will you take your revenge!?
Pointing and Clicking – A traditional point and click interface, with a 'verb coin' interaction menu and a simple inventory from which you can drag and drop your preciously hoarded items.
Renaissance Artwork – Paintings by Rembrandt, Botticelli, Michelangelo and many more are brought together into one consistent world, in a way that is also as sympathetic as possible to the original works.
Classical Music – a soundtrack selected to fit with the style of the artwork. Music from classical composers such as Vivaldi, Bach and George Frideric Handel will accompany you on your journey.
Standalone Story – The Procession to Calvary is set in the same world as Four Last Things, but its story can be played independently.
Optional Murder – You will be equipped with a sword. This will become useful in a number of different situations, but you will be strongly discouraged from using it on people. Ignoring this advice – and murdering anyone who stands in your way – will serve as a useful method of skipping any puzzles you don't like. But be warned; your actions might come back to haunt you...
Nonsense – A style of humour reminiscent of the surreal, anarchic comedy of Monty Python. Lofty subject matter is treated with refreshing flippancy. Gags about butts are taken very seriously. But rest assured, while some of the jokes may be ridiculous, the puzzles make perfect sense! (or at least adhere to a consistent internal logic)
Moments of Surprising Profundity – Actually, no... Don't read too much into it.
Special thanks to SUPERHOT PRESENTS, whose support made this project possible.
Sums Steam only; PlayStation, GOG, Epic, Nintendo publish no volume signal, so the true total is higher by an unknown amount.
| Store | Price | Audience | Score | Chart | Est. revenue |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
SteamYou are here | $9.99 | 1.6Kreviews | 97% | — | $186.2K |
| $14.99 | 319ratings | 94% | — | not modelled | |
Engagement
Reviews
Themes across 131 recent reviews and how positive each mention is. A keyword signal, not full sentiment analysis.
Reviews
Pros: - You will not see another game like this. If you know anything about this game it would be its cool artstyle - Love the gimmicks of just killing your way through puzzles even if it gives you a bad ending - Made me chuckle Cons: - This game is SHORT short. I 100%'d it in 2 hours 40 mins. - Falls into that "XD we're in a video game" -esque humour that I personally despise
This game feels like someone turned old paintings into a Monty Python fever dream. The puzzles are weird, the jokes are dumb in the best way, and the whole thing makes art history feel completely unhinged. Would absolutely cause problems in a Renaissance painting again.
Media
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Price dynamics, follower growth, revenue and sales trajectories with interactive tooltips
This and every other Pro feature is free until October 20, 2026. A free account is all it takes.
For scale, across Steam · Top Sellers · Brazil over the last 30 days: the 26 chart moves that followed a price cut of more than 20% went a median of 7 places towards #1, and the 2,400 moves with no price cut behind them went 2 away. One store, one chart, one country — it is the only place we have enough observations to say even that.
Prices outside the United States have been collected since 6 August 2026 and chart positions since 19 July 2026, so a cut older than that has no market to compare and a market that joined later has no history yet. Nothing here is converted between currencies.
Genres
Stats
All-time low is the lowest price we've recorded for this game since we started tracking it.
Languages: English, French, German, Spanish - Spain, Portuguese - Brazil, Japanese, Traditional Chinese
| $2.99−70% |
| 23ratings |
| 76% |
| #237 |
| not modelled |
| $9.99 | — | — | — | not modelled |
| $4.49−70% | — | — | — | not modelled |
Matched by title — a reused name can pair the wrong games. * is a critic aggregate. Prices and positions are each store's United States storefront; Epic charts worldwide. Audience and Score too, except Steam's, which is worldwide.
Hours played at review time, across 131 reviews with recorded playtime.
positive critical· bar length = how often the theme comes up
Good, I love this kind of artistic interpretation.
缝合了古典音乐和经典名画做出来了无厘头场景互动解密小游戏，见到圣彼得时响起巴赫的《Toccata And Fugue》，一阵强烈的宿命感袭上心头，流程不长，建议买cdkey，2r以内。 但没有简中只有繁中，场景略显廉价粗糙。 并且解密过程充斥大量宗教典故，即使游戏内有比较明显的提示但对没有相应文化背景的人比如：我 来说玩起来还是会比较生硬且折磨。
Rönesans döneminin o Aydınlık Uyanış Çağı olarak bilinen hikayesini, sanatını ve felsefesini böylesine yaratıcı bir kara mizah ile yansıtan ve anlatan mükemmel bir eser ile karşı karşıyayız. Çok uzun zaman sonra point-and-click tarzda bir oyunu hiç bu kadar beğenmemiştim.
丰富的剧情，新奇的世界观，多结局设定，满口骚话的NPC，每一个背景都是世界名画，真的超喜欢里面各种抽象幽默与荒诞戏谑的中世纪梗，天才之作。（1块钱拿下，夯）
指向点击最长但臭(褒义)的河...无法用中文来形容文本、交互、音乐和视觉平衡的有多么好，老辈子创造艺术的伟大程度和作者对宗教文化解构的能力强度足以让这个游戏完全glow up。解谜很贴合主线和文化背景，成就的呈现方式也非常有巧思…真想急头白脸地赞赏一顿Joe Richardson…上哪里找来这么高雅又低俗的开发者啊！！ 想说的太多了但感觉抠出任何部分专门解读都是过度刻奇，只要讲：如果你热爱地狱笑话、混邪且无信仰刷到Gen Z version bible的tiktok能会心一笑，或者你是喜欢古典音乐、艺术和人文历史的消肿比，又或者你是每日冲浪25小时英语又恰好还不错的宅宅（三个全占如我爱玩程度加倍），那你绝对能relate to Joe的犀利讽刺幽默尖锐和成分复杂，it’s giving nastyyyyy vibe，他煮并送达💅💅💅 不过：1. 没有汉化…爱信等…（很多时候古英语会把人难倒停下来查查字典，感受绝对原汁原味！但真的期待有佬能把这既莎翁圣经又低山臭水的文本用中文呈现，届时必定再次游玩🤞） 2. 虽然智商有限我锈湖就玩的很糟糕了 不过还是觉得解谜部分的情节引导可以更好一些（又或者我的文化水平积累不足够我用common sense解谜通关？）
感谢大佬的中文补丁！ 非常淋漓精致且幽默地展现了中世纪欧洲的社会群像 对我打动最深的是那个一辈子只追求写歌的那个音乐家。其实是真的陷入了存在主义虚无，他觉得自己一辈子的事业，居然是给少数富人阶级才能享受的音乐。而那些普通人呢？他们又在何处呢？他们很难听到音乐，因为在当时的中世纪，古典音乐那是富人阶级的活动。当然我也不会认为音乐是必要的，人不需要音乐确实也能活，可是那些喜欢音乐却又很难听到的普通人，那确实是一种酷刑。我仅仅是感叹这种荒谬的结构，确实当代普通人好了很多，但是也没怎么好。正如萨特作为一个哲学家我是厌恶的，这些存在主义虚无感只有闲人才能拥有。他在存在与虚无这本书里面，他坐在窗前看着外面劳作的人，提出他的哲学。这个游戏里面精英阶层对普通人的厌恶感也是处处都是，给我印象最深的是那个说要清理管道，但是却回答说这些排泄物是排到底层人的街道的，也难怪以前对巴黎的描写，在波德莱尔那一代的法国里面，是充满恶臭的，尽管现在巴黎的一些地方也差不多。阶级作为一个至少目前人类社会无法被消失的东西，会一直是各种主题的暗线。
Loved it. Great sequel to Four Last Things. Almost twice as long but never dragging. Puzzles are still very well done and don't hold you up for long thinking about them, and don't require trial-and-error either. Bonus for basically offering two approaches to the game. I haven't really done a murder run so I'm not sure how much you can actually do that way, but the "pacifist" run was fun enough that I'm looking forward to trying it out. Humor was great too as was expected. I wasn't too sure on the fourth wall breaks though, but they are very pythonesque nonetheless.
I haven't laughed that hard or that long playing a game in a long time. The only thing negative I can think of is it's just too short. I wish the game was a good 3 hours longer but I understand the "developer" doesn't have all the time in the world what with all the wars and stuff going on so I'll just wait for the next one pretty please with sprinkles on top? I'll keep my sword unsheathed just in case...
Players by region
Where this game's players are, estimated from review languages.
Players also reviewed
The games this title's players most often review too — audience affinity.
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