The Procession to Calvary

ㅤ♡ UA ㅤЦе гра №2 із серії цієї дивної історії. Цього разу згадується про безсмертного Джона, який поводився як справжній грішник у першій частині (так-так, оті 7 гріхів) ㅤ[i] Плюси та причини її купити та пройти: [/i] - графіка як мистецтво. Світ – мистецтво. Емоції, рухи як у ляльок. - крінжеві сюжети і вульгарність у картинах (одна страта Ісуса чого тільки варта) - мотивуюча музика щоб тобі було легше вбивати всіх ліворуч і праворуч. - однозначно купити і пройти якщо ви фанат картин Босха та Брейгеля. На їхній творчості творці гри були натхнені і не дарма. Вся ця картонна естетика лише надає мальовничості кадрам. ㅤ У головних ролях цієї історії – [b] жінка-воїн, з гарним волоссям на ім'я Беллона [/b], яка хоче всіх порізати. У принципі, ви можете її задовольнити в одному з проходжень. Гра на пару годин, пройти, посміятися, кринжанути, поплакати і видалити із задоволенням від перенасичення сексуальних кадрів голих дуп ([spoiler]ЧОЛОВІЧИХ[/spoiler]). ㅤ♡ ENG ㅤThis is game #2 in the series of this strange story. This time, it tells the story of the immortal John, who behaved like a true sinner in the first game. ㅤ[i] Pros and reasons to buy and play it:[/i] - graphics like art. The world is art. Emotions, movements like dolls. - Cringe-inducing plots and vulgarity in the paintings (the execution of Jesus alone is worth it). - Motivational music makes it easier for you to kill everyone left and right. - Definitely buy and play it if you're a fan of the paintings of Bosch and Bruegel. The creators of the game were inspired by their work, and for good reason. All this cardboard aesthetic only adds to the picturesqueness of the scenes. - The main character in this story is [b] a warrior woman with beautiful hair named Bellona[/b], ​​who wants to cut everyone. In principle, you can satisfy her in this way in one of your playthroughs. A game for a couple of hours, play through, laugh, cringe, cry and delete satisfied from the saturation of beautiful shots of naked butts ([spoiler]MEN'S[/spoiler]) https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=3750214634

The negatives first, there's only one point and it's very humor subjective: - The humor can be pretty vulgar and edgy at times, and there are occasional gory moments that might not be for everyone. The meh: - The game doesn't always communicate objectives clearly. Most puzzles and progression points make sense, but there were one two moments where I wandered around aimlessly trying to figure out what the game wanted from me. The positives: - The Procession to Calvary fully embraces being ridiculous, and that's a huge part of its charm. It's a very unserious game that clearly knows exactly what it wants to be. - The visual presentation is incredibly unique. The use of classical artwork for the game's graphics gives it an identity. - The soundtrack is excellent. The musical pieces fit the scenes surprisingly well and add a lot to the overall atmosphere. - Puzzle solutions are usually logical enough that progression feels satisfying once you figure things out. - The short runtime works in the game's favor. It delivers its jokes and ideas without overstaying its welcome. It could be because I played multiple long games lately, but a short game really helps its favor here for me. As a whole, I very much enjoyed my time with The Procession to Calvary. It's a small, weird, and genuinely funny (but of course, niche humor) adventure game with one of the most distinctive art styles. If you're into Monty Python-style humor, point-and-click adventures, and games that aren't afraid to be completely ridiculous, it's well worth a look.

Completei The Procession to Calvary em umas 3 horas no Game Pass antes de ter o jogo na Steam, curti muito o game e ele me tirou alguma risadas, bom se você gosta de duas coisas: jogos point and click e humor britânico ao estilo Monty Python, porque isso é tudo que o jogo é. Ah, se você curte artes clássicas também deve gostar desse jogo, porque os personagens e cenários são todas obras ou baseado nelas (pelo que entendi), a maior dificuldade do jogo é terminar sem matar ninguém, visto que a protagonista têm uma ânsia tremenda por resolver tudo com morte kkkkkk ------------------------------------- I finished The Procession to Calvary in about 3 hours on Game Pass before getting the game on Steam, I really enjoyed the game and it made me laugh a few times, well if you like two things: point-and-click games and British humor in the style of Monty Python, because that's all the game is. Oh, if you like classic art you should also like this game, because the characters and scenarios are all works of art or based on them (from what I understand), the biggest difficulty in the game is finishing without killing anyone, since the protagonist has a tremendous urge to solve everything with death lol

Definitely a unique art style with a banging soundtrack and on top of that plenty of laughs. It’s worth every penny.

指向点击最长但臭(褒义)的河...无法用中文来形容文本、交互、音乐和视觉平衡的有多么好，老辈子创造艺术的伟大程度和作者对宗教文化解构的能力强度足以让这个游戏完全glow up。解谜很贴合主线和文化背景，成就的呈现方式也非常有巧思…真想急头白脸地赞赏一顿Joe Richardson…上哪里找来这么高雅又低俗的开发者啊！！ 想说的太多了但感觉抠出任何部分专门解读都是过度刻奇，只要讲：如果你热爱地狱笑话、混邪且无信仰刷到Gen Z version bible的tiktok能会心一笑，或者你是喜欢古典音乐、艺术和人文历史的消肿比，又或者你是每日冲浪25小时英语又恰好还不错的宅宅（三个全占如我爱玩程度加倍），那你绝对能relate to Joe的犀利讽刺幽默尖锐和成分复杂，it’s giving nastyyyyy vibe，他煮并送达💅💅💅 不过：1. 没有汉化…爱信等…（很多时候古英语会把人难倒停下来查查字典，感受绝对原汁原味！但真的期待有佬能把这既莎翁圣经又低山臭水的文本用中文呈现，届时必定再次游玩🤞） 2. 虽然智商有限我锈湖就玩的很糟糕了 不过还是觉得解谜部分的情节引导可以更好一些（又或者我的文化水平积累不足够我用common sense解谜通关？）

Loved it. Great sequel to Four Last Things. Almost twice as long but never dragging. Puzzles are still very well done and don't hold you up for long thinking about them, and don't require trial-and-error either. Bonus for basically offering two approaches to the game. I haven't really done a murder run so I'm not sure how much you can actually do that way, but the "pacifist" run was fun enough that I'm looking forward to trying it out. Humor was great too as was expected. I wasn't too sure on the fourth wall breaks though, but they are very pythonesque nonetheless.

丰富的剧情，新奇的世界观，多结局设定，满口骚话的NPC，每一个背景都是世界名画，真的超喜欢里面各种抽象幽默与荒诞戏谑的中世纪梗，天才之作。（1块钱拿下，夯）

Würde eig negatvie Bewertung geben wel ich nicht alle abstechen kann..... aber der jumpscare am anfang war genug für GOTY

Jeu très court, artistique, intelligemment bête et drôle.

A really fun irreverent game. I highly recommend this if you want a silly funny adventure.