Rise of the High Elf King: A LEGACY OF BLOOD

This is by far the biggest waste of 3 dollars ever spent. Less than 10 minutes of actual gameplay, vulgarity for the sake of being vulgar, the word "Comedy" needs to be replaced with Cringe. Sprite sex, spelling errors, and music that will make your ears bleed. I wouldn't make my worst enemy sit through this debacle. The surprising part is the utter amount of 80's era nostalgia pop culture references they managed to squeeze in between all of the horrible jokes and quite honestly, obnoxious over use of swear words. The swear word to actual words spoken in game are so disproportionate that only an Edge Lord would find this amusing and the creator needs to chill out before he cuts himself. The start menu is just a screen saver bitmap with an entire rap song that plays for longer than it needs to all the way to the end before a nice 30 seconds of silence before it starts over. The very fact that anyone can get any amount of money for this abomination amazes me. The protagonist breaks the 4th wall to a point that it's just common place, and given that there are few actual interactions in the game that's saying something. Also every time it happens it will make you cringe until your soul visibly says "I'm about to head out". In a lot of ways I can say i'm honestly disheartened to see that trash like this can actually carry a price tag. One might argue that in purchasing this you can get some "tracks" from some indie musicians but it would require you to actually play it to hear them and once you do you'll remember you don't want to. Don't get me wrong I am a huge supporter of indie content but this, this is literally nothing. I could have made this in less than an hour and had it in the market without a single hiccup. The problem is the lack of any real content shows exactly how much effort was put into this. If you feel like playing this, just go get a cat, some knitting needles, and a spray bottle full of water. Then shove the knitting needles into your eyes while vigorously spraying the cat with the spray bottle while clutching the cat's tail. You will get roughly the same experience, especially if you swear when violently assaulted by a wet irritated cat because that is what this game is. It is being assaulted by a wet irritated cat, while swearing.

If you're looking for a 45 minute 3 dollar game with a Leisure Suit Larry (explicit content) flare and filled with some funny and creative cursing then this game is for you! A truly creative use of RPG Maker.