Retro Classix: Two Crude

Reminds me of the 90s big time. I remember seeing the Sega Genesis version and I wanted to try this game out since I heard the Arcade version is superior but I can tell you the hit boxes on the enemies are rough and it can be completed in 30 minutes. Its fun at first but the bosses hit boxes are terrible.

Two Crude or as I remember it Two Crude Dudes is a side-scrolling arcade beat 'em up very much like Data East's more well know Bad Dudes. With Two Crude the player character has the ability to punch sometimes kick if holding something. Additionally, the player character can jump and use this jump for a jump kick. Perhaps the most interesting mechanic of Two Crude is the ability of the player character lift large objects and enemy characters and throw them. This lift mechanic can also be employed to uproot pipes and poles as use for better reaching melee weapons. Like Bad Dudes, Two Crude is a complete 2D side-scrolling beat 'em up. This doesn't allow for much dodging beyond placing the character on either the upper or lower level of most of the game beyond simple positioning. The two cude dudes also don't move with much purpose, so closing the distance to get at some enemies can be tricky. Ultimately, the player has to develop a strategy for every area and how to deal with enemies in those areas. And being a lesser arcade title, I'm not sure how much the game just expected the player to take their lumps and put in another quarter. To more modern sensibilities, Two Crude is likely to come off stiff and limited in game play. However, I find this same game play charming in a retro sense, and I'm fine spending as many virtual quarters to play as much as I want. Even for the time I don't think Two Crude would stand much of a chance if its cabinet was next to Final Fight. But I still personally find the brawling charmingly goofy fun. Much of that charm has to do with the late 80s, early 90s urban punk, American post-apocalypse Fist of the North Star style aesthetics. I greatly enjoy the pixel art of the games of the era. So, one of Two Crude's best aspects to me is its grungy pixely appearance. The music and sound design are too shabby either. There's nothing jaw-dropping about this game's audio, but the hits sound good and the music works well with the theme and game play. I can't recommend this game, though. This version barely has any features, those being settings such as video, audio and controller bindings. Which honestly should just be in all games. Even the lack of features and extras wouldn't be so bad if the game was just a buck not on-sale. Or better yet, as part of a larger Data East game collection. But as it stands, there isn't much here coax dinero out of most people's wallets.