Kidnapped! A Royal Birthday

So I honestly didnt finish playing this one. I reached a point in the story where a fight I had been trying to avoid (through choices offered) was forced on me anyways, and when my MC asked who would champion him, NONE of the people he had just spent the whole story with stepped up and had his back (and of course i had only been nice to them, cause thats just how i am). Needless to say the buffoon non character that gets drafted into "championing" me looses the fight,... and i just hit the "x" button. That paragraph right there should tell you alot of whats wrong with this game. Still the writting was decent, the "escape" (i refuse to call it a rescue, if you play you'll see why) was also interesting and got me invested in trying to do it right. The side characters were believable if not terribly interesting. I went along with the silliness that was the guild, and only got a single demerit through the whole game (up to the point I quit) while being mindful of keeping my would be rescuers safe, and treating them with respect. Sadly my respect was obviously not appreciated and being abandoned by those I put my trust and faith in just left a sour taste in my mouth. As always YMMV with this game, but i tend to reward these games with the same kind of reward they treated me to when I was playing them.

I wish steam didn't have a yes/no option, because I'd rank this as 2.5/5. I really wanted to like it, and while the writing is fun, the gameplay was not and I just didn't enjoy it. This is not a game that offers nuance in its mechanics. Stat checks in the game feels arbitrary, and I have a feeling the game will only make sense if you're 100% kick ass or 100% damsel. I played an independent scholarly person, and yet the game kept assuming that I was a damsel who was too scared to prick their own finger. I suspect it's because I opted for formal wear and to be traditional at the beginning, which made sense to me because it's a royal coronation, an exceptional event that would warrant well-behaved behaviour... for the day. But as mentioned, there's no nuance because it seems the game just locks you in after the choices in the first chapter, thinking that's how you'll 100% behave for the rest of the story. Some choices just oddly punish you for no reason - sometimes the game would ask you to pick someone to do something, and it's actually a 'oh you must dislike this person, time to minus off relationship points' choice rather than a logical 'who's the best person for this job' choice. I also did not enjoy how some of the writing shoehorns on how you must feel - after having those relationship points docked 'unfairly', my character starts acting snide to that person. I mean, sure, mechanically that's sound, but let me choose if i want to be snide or not in the actual decision, and not as flavour text. Or what i assumed was an internal thought decision, which resulted in the character just loudly proclaiming SOMETHING REALLY BAD in a room full of potential enemies. I have no idea if the odd Damsel Guild mechanic actually did anything, because I ended up with a very abrupt ending after [spoiler]getting tired of both siblings and just saying to hell with both of them. It didn't come off as funny, just that the writer was giving up or something.[/spoiler] That said... the writing is good. I enjoyed the major characters (though not the siblings), and was willing to stick through the game because of it. But ultimately, what could have been an interesting game with potential just got let down with the choices.

It is really hard for me to decide if i recommend this game or not. Thing is...the writing is nice. The rather light, humorous (sometimes ridiculous) style makes for an easy read. And, for most parts, a very fun, enjoyable read. The problem, though, is the total lack of meaningful player decisions. I played through this 2 times, because i had 2 different "routes" i thought i could try (in regards to who to romance/marry in the end) but it turned out there was little to no difference in those playthroughs. Furthermore i spent literally 6 hours or more trying to find out how to break a certain curse placed on one of the romance interests. I failed, not sure if there is a way, honestly, the game seems to imply it, but whatever it is as far as i can tell you're never told. I even went so far as to try and fiddle with the gamestate file (which heavily implies that the curse can be broken), but even that didn't lead to a different ending scene. (I don't want to go into the details so i don't spoiler it for anyone) Why do I include this in my review? Well, there is a certain vibe of "unfinished" to the later stages of the game and i, by now, am under the impression that might be the explanation why even changing the gamestate itself (and i have a lot of routine with that, i live under the impression that i understand the way Choice of... Games work well enough to identify the triggers for certain events by going through the files), though there is ofc the chance i failed nevertheless. So do i recommend such a short CYOA that feels as if it was left unfinished, has a lot of very underdeveloped (but promising, which makes it kinda worse, even), likeable characters, a plot that partially is pretty decent and partially rather...weird? I might. But I feel as if, despite wishing for the author to continue creating games or maybe even make a sufficient patch for this game, adding some content (or, heck, possibly even a 2nd part to this that is a little more matured structure wise (I'd buy it, despite my final verdict for this 1st one)), I can not recommend a Choose your OWN Adventure game that has potentially 0(!!!) actual player decisions, besides an out-of-nowhere moment right at the end where you can achieve somewhat varying endings? I don't think so, and that feels a little sad. :/

It may be cheap, but that's exactly what it feels like. Yet, despite it's price, even on sale I feel I spent way too much money on it. It's sold as something more interesting than it actually is. Yes, it's supposed to be a comedy, but it's just not funny... most of the time. I actually do enjoy dry and sarcastic humor. It had a few sparse good moments. I have to admit, the (spoiler alert) gnome-pires were genius. And the end, if you play up the dramatic, damsel angle and get all your fellow damsel-kind crying or calling out for the big and strong... it's so absurd and ridiculous and one of the good examples of a comedy successfully not taking itself too seriously. And... that's just about it. I did like the characters, which is a shame really, because they are not utilized properly and at no point do you feel any real chemistry or connection between any of them and your character. In a game... where you play a damsel... the romance is brittle and... I can't even call it shallow. It's there on a technicality. The game plays like a story with interruptions. It's not quite puzzle-like, thankfully, because you can't fail. However, you have tons of choices, and not one of them actually makes any difference. On top of that, many don't make quite enough sense and it's not clear at all what options go with what stats or why. There's also no explanation of stats. Then again.. it doesn't matter. Nothing really matters. If you "pass" or "fail" based on your stats, it doesn't make any real difference. You succeed a different way, with minimal to no difference in the story. It does everything it can to avoid "offending" people by giving your player character any real definition that it's impossible to give your character any personality, even in the privacy of your own imagination. Overall, it fails at being a game, and it's not good at being a story. It's slightly deceptive in the way I felt it was advertised, but I also can't say it was technically wrong? There's no substance. I feel that was a huge, huge waste of 3 dollars. I could have bought a soda or a candy bar. I suggest you grab a snack instead and leave this one aside. Don't want to take my word? Well, how about the fact that there are almost NO achievements and not only can you get them all in one run, you are guaranteed to get almost all of them (but 2 or 3 for me) the first go around, without even reading the story and just clicking random choices each time. The only achievement I don't have? It would be easy to get but it's too tedious to bother. What a boring game full of absolutely wasted potential.

The story has a good sense of humor at times; However, the plot and build up of the story does get boring fast, for the most part. Doesn't have clear/obvious way of choosing starting skills. Your character tends to be, more often than not, useless in a fighting situations. There's a few grammatical errors.

Not bad. The concept is fun and silly enough and the characters are fairly likeable, if maybe a bit underdeveloped. The player character's able to be very distinct in personality across a couple playthroughs, but I can also say that sadly the results of those actions don't ever feel meaningfully different, even in the endings. Could be better, but if you like the idea it's fun enough for one run through.

I had such hopes for this game, but unfortunately, it turned out to be quite a mess. The characters all felt like 2D cutouts who's motivations were all over the place and were generally unlikable (how am I supposed to become attached to characters who all but outright admit that they are only interested in my character for money and status?) It was very unclear how the stats system worked, and when I wanted my character to say or do something, they'd often say or do the complete opposite of what I wanted, which became increasingly frustrating as the game went on. I'm usually a great fan of Choice of Games, but this is a title I wouldn't recommend to anyone. Go play Fool! instead.

The story is just overly stupid and silly it is not funny just stupid and boring as all hell.

Yet another game with passable writing, but horrible gameplaying. Many options leave you with no clues as to their pertained skills or attributes. The plot was intended to be humorous, but the resulting effect is annoying and stupid. Not to mention that three of your companions are female while only one is male, if that is not racism aimed to stoke male players' ego, I don't know what is. This kind of game doesn't deserve good reviews AT ALL

Весёлая история с обилием отсылок, пародий и просто смешных моментов. Приятно видеть комедию для разнообразия (не то чтоб я имею что-то против серьёзных историй). Хорошо написано, приятно читать, хотя местами немного сложно понять зависимость исхода выбора от твоих характеристик.