i mean, it sure is a dude simulator. don't know if he's a grand dude, though. he doesn't seem like a grandfather unless he's one of those really young looking alcoholic grandfathers whos kids never visit him, and he's not really grand in the other sense either cuz poor dude lives in a house littered with garbage with nothing in his fridge, an empty garage, and a fake toilet. really, you open the toilet and it doesnt even have water its just an empty container. this dudes depressed as hell, grand dude simulator more like sad dude simulator and like, no wonder hes so depressed, there are hot dog and ice cream shops that are just completely empty in town. this dude just wants some grub for his empty house and he cant buy any.
theres an actual mechanic where you can just DEMOLISH yourself with alcohol. dude takes a fat swig of booze and cant see straight. *i* actually felt nauseous watching this dude stumble around and as far as i can tell, you drink, you're ♥♥♥♥♥♥. i had to *restart the game* for the effect to go away. this is the life of a depressed, alcoholic trash man.
this dude sucks at driving too. every time i touch a car, within 30 seconds of driving, this dude has literally flipped the car upside down. his car, his neighbor's truck that he stole, some innocent person's suv, you name it. every time without fail. its impressive how bad he is at and this dude walks away unscathed every time.
you can buy a knife or a gun but you only have $100 to your name until you take your alcoholic depression out on innocent people by murdering them so make a wise decision. of course, you can always practice your drunken killing techniques on the guy at the weapons shop, he won’t mind. he’s fine. the absolute best killing tool at your disposal, however, is the chicken that somehow survives in this dude’s inventory. i killed 5 policemen with just a chicken. don’t really know why they were trying to arrest me though, the chickens really the one at fault here.
i got this game for 49 cents on sale and like, yeah, its fun to ♥♥♥♥ around with for 49 cents, but for its normal asking price of five dollars yall gotta be as drunk as this dude to think its worth it.
