Eets

eets was probably the first ever game i played. ever. i was 5 years old at the time. im 22. so when i say i grew up with this game, i literally mean it. i GREW up with this game. and even so, despite it being so old at this point, its still fun to play once a blue moon. If my thumbs up above me says i recommend it, i REALLY REALLY recommend it. it may be old, but its a piece of internet history.

Eets was so good it made me not wanna eat marshmallows ever again, too emotional.

Nice!!!

Eets

[h1]🛑 GENERAL INFO[/h1] [b]➤ Mission Status[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ 100% Completion [*] ⬛ Main Story Finished [*] ⬛ Still Playing / Endless [*] ✅ [b]Dropped (Got bored)[/b] [*] ⬛ Refunded [/list] [b]➤ Play Time[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ Long enough for a cup of coffee (< 1h) [*] ⬛ Short (1h - 10h) [*] ⬛ Average (10h - 40h) [*] ⬛ Long (40h - 100h) [*] ⬛ Very Long (100h+) [*] ⬛ Goodbye Real Life (∞) [/list] [b]➤ Price[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]It’s Free[/b] [*] ⬛ Worth Full Price [*] ⬛ Wait for Sale [*] ⬛ Could be cheaper [*] ⬛ Overpriced [*] ⬛ Not worth buying [*] ⬛ Waste of money [*] ⬛ No longer available for purchase [/list] [hr][/hr] [h1]📊 TECHNICAL & STABILITY[/h1] [b]➤ Optimization & Framerate[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]Runs on a microwave[/b] [*] ⬛ Seamless (144fps+) [*] ⬛ Great (High FPS) [*] ⬛ Good (60fps stable) [*] ⬛ Occasional Stutters [*] ✅ [b]Poorly Optimized[/b] [*] ⬛ Slideshow / Unplayable [/list] [b]➤ Stability & Bugs[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]Polished / Flawless[/b] [*] ⬛ Minor (Visual glitches, etc.) [*] ⬛ Annoying (Quest/Physics bugs, etc.) [*] ⬛ Game Breaking (Crashes/Softlocks, etc.) [*] ⬛ Bug Simulator [/list] [b]➤ Controls & Input[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ Excellent support for M&K and Controller [*] ✅ [b]Best on Mouse & Keyboard[/b] [*] ⬛ Best on Controller [*] ⬛ Steering Wheel / Flight Stick recommended [*] ⬛ Awkward controls [*] ⬛ No remapping options [/list] [b]➤ DRM & Anti-Cheat[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]None / DRM-Free[/b] [*] ⬛ Standard Steam DRM [*] ⬛ Kernel Level Anti-Cheat (EAC/Vanguard, etc.) [*] ⬛ Requires 3rd Party Account (EA / Ubisoft / PSN, etc.) [*] ⬛ Denuvo [*] ⬛ Always Online Requirement [/list] [b]➤ Game Size[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]Floppy Disk (< 100MB)[/b] [*] ⬛ Small (100MB - 1GB) [*] ⬛ Average (1GB - 10GB) [*] ⬛ Large (10GB - 50GB) [*] ⬛ Very Big (50GB - 100GB) [*] ⬛ Massive (100GB - 250GB) [*] ⬛ You will want an entire hard drive to hold it [*] ⬛ You will need to invest in a black hole [/list] [hr][/hr] [h1]🎨 PRESENTATION[/h1] [b]➤ Visuals[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ Photorealistic / Next-Gen [*] ⬛ Masterpiece [*] ⬛ Beautiful [*] ⬛ Graphics don't matter (Unique Art Style) [*] ⬛ Good [*] ⬛ Decent [*] ✅ [b]Dated / Retro[/b] [*] ⬛ Visual Clutter / MS Paint [*] ⬛ Don't look too long at it [/list] [b]➤ Audio[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ Eargasm [*] ⬛ Atmospheric / Immersive [*] ⬛ Good [*] ✅ [b]Generic[/b] [*] ⬛ Bad / Glitchy [*] ⬛ Played with Spotify in the background [/list] [hr][/hr] [h1]⚔️ GAMEPLAY & CONTENT[/h1] [b]➤ Narrative[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ Masterpiece (10/10) [*] ⬛ Emotional / Gripping [*] ⬛ Lore Heavy [*] ⬛ Good [*] ⬛ Average / Generic [*] ⬛ No Story [*] ✅ [b]Didn't finish the game[/b] [/list] [b]➤ Gameplay Loop[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ Addictive [*] ⬛ Flow State (Smooth) [*] ⬛ Fun [*] ⬛ Average / Generic [*] ✅ [b]Clunky[/b] [*] ⬛ Just don't [/list] [b]➤ Difficulty[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ Cozy / Zen [*] ⬛ Adjustable (Story to Hardcore, etc.) [*] ✅ [b]Normal[/b] [*] ⬛ Challenging [*] ⬛ Soulslike (Punishing) [*] ⬛ Unfair / Artificial Difficulty [/list] [b]➤ Learning Curve[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]Pick up and play[/b] [*] ⬛ Easy to learn, hard to master [*] ⬛ Steep learning curve [*] ⬛ Requires a Wiki/Guide open [*] ⬛ Need a Ph.D. [/list] [hr][/hr] [h1]💰 ECONOMY & COMMUNITY[/h1] [b]➤ Target Audience[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]Everyone[/b] [*] ⬛ Kids [*] ⬛ Teens [*] ⬛ Adults [*] ⬛ Grandma / Casual [*] ⬛ Hardcore Gamers [/list] [b]➤ Monetization[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]None / One-time Purchase[/b] [*] ⬛ Cosmetic DLCs only [*] ⬛ Battlepass / Season Pass [*] ⬛ Pay-to-Fast (Time savers) [*] ⬛ Pay-to-Win [/list] [b]➤ Modding[/b] [list] [*] ⬛ Native Steam Workshop Support [*] ⬛ Active Modding Community (Nexus) [*] ✅ [b]No Mods / Closed System[/b] [*] ⬛ Developers hostile to Mods [/list] [b]➤ Community[/b] [list] [*] ✅ [b]Offline Game / Singleplayer[/b] [*] ⬛ Wholesome / Helpful [*] ⬛ Average [*] ⬛ Toxic [*] ⬛ Radioactive / Unsafe [*] ⬛ Dead Game (No players) [/list] [hr][/hr] [h1]📝 FINAL VERDICT[/h1] [h1]RATING: 5 / 10[/h1] ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣦⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣠⣤⣤⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠁⠀⠀⠹⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⢼⣿⠀⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠀⣾⣷⠀⠀⢿⣿⣷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠈⠋⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠙⠋⠀⢀⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⣀⣀⣀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣶⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣾⣿⣷⣦⣤⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣤⠤⢤⣤⡄⠀ ⠈⠉⠉⢉⣙⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⣀⣀⣀⡀⠀⠀ ⠐⠚⠋⠉⢀⣬⡿⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⣥⣀⡀⠈⠀⠈⠛⠀ ⠀⠀⠴⠚⠉⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡿⠛⠋⠁⠀⠀⠀⠉⠛⠢⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀⢄⣸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡀⠀⣰⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣇⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⡽⣷⣽⣄⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡀⠀⣾⠟⠉⠉⠉⢀⣶⡷⡃ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢁⡿⠂ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡄⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⡿⠛⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡧⢔⡾⡿⠿⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀

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